Mike D Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 This seemed like kind of an appropriate poll. The first day I got to my dad's, my dad and sister got in a huge fight and my dad says he no longer has a daughter, and he'll never have anything to do with her family again. Guess we aren't going to their house for Christmas dinner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Sounds like my family. I won't be going to my parent's house this year because my parents can't accept their daughter either. Well, my Mom can for the most part, but not my Dad. I am going to my sister Lynne's for Christmas. I don't expect there to be any drama. She cut ties with the rest of the family except me, seven years ago, mostly because of drama. So it'll be Lynne, my niece, her bf and his grown sons and girlfriends/wives and a few other of her bf's relatives. Hopefully fairly drama free, though I don't know his family that well. So we shall see. Lynne and I just spent the last two and a half hours on the phone planning dinner and stuff. I think it will go well for a change. Usually there's some drama when I'm with my parents and my other sister, and I'm *certain* there would be this year... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted December 21, 2007 Author Share Posted December 21, 2007 Sounds like you lucked out. I am really starting to hate the holidays, so far this year my dad and my sister have disowned each other, my uncle and my cousin got in a major fight because my uncle and dad refuse to speak to each other, and I am not talking to either my mom or my sister so it's not like I am going to step in and try to fix things. I sometimes wonder how I made it past childhood... this is the family from hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelli Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 Sounds like you lucked out. I am really starting to hate the holidays, so far this year my dad and my sister have disowned each other, my uncle and my cousin got in a major fight because my uncle and dad refuse to speak to each other, and I am not talking to either my mom or my sister so it's not like I am going to step in and try to fix things. I sometimes wonder how I made it past childhood... this is the family from hell! Oh, I've had really bad years, believe me. Nothing's been the same since Lynne disowned the rest of the family but she did it for good reason. And now I at least have a haven to go to when the shit hits. My family has been able to cop some pretty good drama around the holidays. Personally, the only thing I like about Christmas at all anymore is being able to spend time with my kids and those family members who aren't all dramatic. Nothing else about the holidays appeals to me anymore. Not the gift-giving. My ex kind of spoiled that for me by always putting us into major debt every year, plus all the boatloads trinkety crap my kids always get that's broken in a day. This is my first year being single and having complete control over my own finances, and for once I am not in debt and I am actually able to help my sister with dinner expenses and such. I have spent very little on anyone but myself, LOL. Yes, I'm being a little selfish, but honestly I think I need to this year in order to keep my sanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted December 21, 2007 Author Share Posted December 21, 2007 Well that's good at least you have a place to go. Once my dad dies that will pretty much be it for me, there's no way I am going to spend any more time with these people unless it's in a lawyers office for the reading of a will. And if I am not in the will they can count me out, lol.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purple Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I choose other. There never has been, and never will be actaul drama, my family is far too snobby for that. That is my problem, delemia, tension with them. They are very OC, and I'm well, just not. To your face they are nice, everyone will be dressed well, things will be quiet and pleasant, behind others back, they are catty, and snippy and horrible. We've decided this will be out last year with the extended family. See, if you are a kid, under 12, my family does christmas right, it looks liek a card or magazine, hell my cousin will have a jumpy house. So, if you're a kid, its a great time. You don't see, or feel the underlying current of judgement and cattiness. You get a little older and well, you start to notice. So, a few years back the DH and I decided this would be the last year, when our youngest is 11, at 12 she will be over this, and we can have something at home, just us. Which we do now at thanksgiving, which is our second fave holiday as a family, Halloween being the hands down favorite. Actaully, we usally do Easter with my family too, and my DH hates that more. He says "God its just a sea, of bad tans, in too much pastel." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japedo Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I'm sorry to hear of others hardships with their family's. I have a normal family, we have fun and enjoy making each other laugh. The only time any sort of argument erupts is when we talk politics, (Which is always, its in our blood. ) but it's never on a personal level. I'm the *"loopy Liberal" in a sea of Republicans, but I know they love me, and I love them in spite of their shortcomings. * I'm a libertarian but they consider me to be liberal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 it is not a true Christmas until my in-laws start picking on each other, and my aunt-in-law starts singing, "Happy holidays" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I have a long tradition--since waaayyy before I cut ties altogether--of spending Christmas with my own lone self and I love it that way. Before I had a computer I had a typewriter and books. Before that I had a pen and writing tablet and books. And there's always been the Great Outdoors if I wanted a bit of exercise and a change of scenery. A bit of special food, esp. sweets, adds the finishing touches to a great celebration of any holiday for me. And since I love my own company there's no one to get into fights or scraps with. Not even a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fweethawt Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 My vote would be somewhere in between options 2 and 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
godlessgrrl Posted December 21, 2007 Share Posted December 21, 2007 I voted "Other". There was a lot more drunken family violence back when my mom was still not sober and I still lived at home. When the kids left and dad no longer had anyone to use as a human shield between himself and my mom, the two of them were forced to come to some kind of understanding. They managed to figure some workable arrangement out, and over the past decade or so things have been reasonably peaceful. I emotionally divorced myself from my folks when I was in my 20's. As they've aged and had to deal with things like taking care of their own elderly parents, and the birth of their first grandchild, they've mellowed out. Really, everybody's relationships got dramatically better, once we moved out of my parents' house. People are still shallow and noisy, but not the psycho abusive fuckheads they used to be. So Xmas will be intense, and I will probably be on guard for all of it, but I don't anticipate any genuine drama. Although I plan on bringing my dogs to Xmas dinner, in the hopes that the young male dog will lift his leg on their sofa the way he did the first time we visited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoeticLicence Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 We might have drama. We probably won't. What we are all destined to experience is the wonders of my psychologist sister analyzing the shit out of everyone, looking down her superior nose, patting the hands of we weaklings and saying, "You have a right to what you're feeling." On the heels of that will be the ever coveted unsolicited advice she'll doll out like doughnut holes at a fat lady convention. I shouldn't be complaining. It's free therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalidasa Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 I don't believe there will be any drama at my house at Christmas. My family is pretty normal. At least one of my uncles is coming over, but I generally ignore him (and the feeling is very much mutual) so odds are he'll sit in the lounge room all day while the rest of us are out on the back deck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted December 22, 2007 Share Posted December 22, 2007 On my wife's side of the family, with the exception of looney tunes fundy neice, it's pretty normal. On MY side of the family it's pretty messed up. Brother and his family, all alcoholics, sister is in jail... So I'd say 50% dysfunctional... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Inch Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I voted no issues. Got a very normal family. I had been training my family out of Christmas over the last few years because it is unbiblical and pagan. So this year I'm an atheist and no-one is buying each other presents, yay! Am I evil? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy-tiger Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I cut ties with most of my family, so there's little drama to come my way... ok, so I get the usual carp from gramps about how I need to get a job (yeah, like someone's gonna employ someone who will blackout at least once a day...) and the standard soppy religious card from the Aunt and Uncle. Brothers? Not a fucking thing... can't stand most of them. Sister? Haven't heard anything from her since my Mother died... and that was only because she was pissed at being cut from the will and wanted her money The only family I keep in contact with is my youngest brother, who's not too bad for a 19yo, and my oldest cousin, who's just had her first child... oh, and Gramps for the next couple of years, since Granny died 30th Dec last year and I feel pity for the pedophilic fuckwit. Not sure how much family Xaru keeps in contact with... had her parents over yesterday, card from her sister and aunt. They all seem to get on ok, which makes me jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretaker Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 This Christmas proved my family dysfunctional. I have two older brothers in their thirties. One has 4 children and is a Mr. Know-it-all who doesn't know it all, and uses those kids to leech money off my parents. The other is married to his managerial job at an auto parts store, and hosted Christmas this year. They both talk down to me like a little child. I have never openly discussed this, but I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome a few years ago, when I was still in high school. It has caused me great stress in finding a job after graduating from university. Now, I finally landed a job two months ago remanufacturing toner cartridges, and I decided then my brothers didn't deserve to know about the job; it wasn't any of their business. They finally found out a couple weeks ago. But do my brother's understand this? NOOOOO! They just think I need a swift kick in the ass. They refuse to read up on Asperger's syndrome, thinking they are already experts on it, since they have lived with me. Anyway, the manager brother hosted Christmas this year, as I said, and he always talks down to me like I am a little child, and the other brother isn't that much better. During gift distribution, they kept ordering me around. Now, I wanted to play the Santa part for my nephews and nieces, but I was highly annoyed at my brothers' interference, and my parents were pissed about it. Halfway through, after my oldest nephew opened his gift from me, which happened to be a skateboard with gear and skate shoes, I was about to go outside to apply some Scotchgard to his shoes (he wanted some), and the host brother stopped me, and started talking down to me like a little kid, pushing his weight around as if it were his own house that he bought and payed for (he's renting an apartment). I just grabbed my coat and stuff, and left. No goodbyes, only time for him to say not to let the door hit my ass on the way out. I was pissed. Of course, I am sorry that I didn't say my proper goodbyes, especially to the kids, but I finally had it with the crap he gives me. I drive down to the local Safeway to cool off, and a few minutes later, my mother calls to let me know they are on their way out, and so was my other brother. My parents are pissed off at both my brothers for ordering me around, in addition to the moment I left. My parents are so upset, they are prepared to sacrifice time with the grandkids to avoid my brothers. I just hope I can keep in touch with the kids. To hell with my brothers. I never even see much of the manager brother anyways, and whenever I do, he always finds a way to make me feel like shit, and the only reason I see the other brother is because I love my nephews and nieces. I can't wait until they are 18. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted December 27, 2007 Author Share Posted December 27, 2007 This Christmas proved my family dysfunctional. Sorry to hear, sounds like your Christmas turned out about as bad as mine. Similar situation too, in that I would like to see and spend time with my newphew and niece, but the drama between their parents (my sister) and dad is just too much. We ended up not going to their place for Christmas at all because everyone is mad at everyone else. It sucks that the kids end up being the ones to suffer, plus all this fighting sets a horrible example for them.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanakila Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 I spent xmas working and my kids went to be with my ex in Kentucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 This Christmas proved my family dysfunctional. I have two older brothers in their thirties. One has 4 children and is a Mr. Know-it-all who doesn't know it all, and uses those kids to leech money off my parents. The other is married to his managerial job at an auto parts store, and hosted Christmas this year. They both talk down to me like a little child. I have never openly discussed this, but I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome a few years ago, when I was still in high school. It has caused me great stress in finding a job after graduating from university. Now, I finally landed a job two months ago remanufacturing toner cartridges, and I decided then my brothers didn't deserve to know about the job; it wasn't any of their business. They finally found out a couple weeks ago. But do my brother's understand this? NOOOOO! They just think I need a swift kick in the ass. They refuse to read up on Asperger's syndrome, thinking they are already experts on it, since they have lived with me. Sorry to hear that. People can be such jerks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 You put up this poll BEFORE xmass, I wonder if we compare this to the other poll made AFTER xmass if the two jive. Be interesting to see if it went like everyone thought. So far it seems like people were pleasantly surprised! http://www.ex-christian.net/index.php?showtopic=20741 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike D Posted December 29, 2007 Author Share Posted December 29, 2007 I voted in your poll but knew going in mine was going to be bad since the fighting and family drama started last week. Actually now that I think about it Christmas day itself was pretty peaceful since nobody was talking to each other by then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PandaPirate Posted December 29, 2007 Share Posted December 29, 2007 My bf's mom likes to bitch and moan about everything so I'm used to her yelling at her husband because he didn't take the buns out of the oven soon enough. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted December 30, 2007 Share Posted December 30, 2007 This year's Christmas was far better than last year's. Up until this year, Christmas had always been a religious affair. But last year when my younger sister outed me it was dysfunctional, with religious debates and beign treated liek crap and then attempting to run away... yeah. This year was far less religious and much mroe tolerable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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