Thurisaz Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Here's something for those who just can't live with the thought that the bible might not be His Revealed Word, although they realize that the literal meaning of the book is at the very least questionable. The point has been made both correctly and countless times that all the contradictions, falsehoods and atrocities can't be compatible at all with any "loving" deity. Unless, of course... ...you assume that this hypothetical god wanted us to use the reasoning skills he supposedly gave us. In that sense, let's imagine for a moment that we are supposed to realize that the bible, taken literally, is bullshit and rise above it to... well... pretty much the point where most German christians I know are now: "Try your best to be a good person, period. Oh, and of course, please show up in church every once in a while so that your pastor knows you're still alive. Once a year, at christmas, is perfectly OK." I find that hypothetical thought quite intriguing, actually. Imagine, for example, a certain "reverend" phelps appearing before His throne... gawd: "Aaah, phelps. A clear case if there ever was one. Guilty. The trapdoor to the right, please - best way to the pit. Next!" phelps: "But... but... I kissed your holy arse all my life! I persecuted those filthy heathen faggots with all my holy hatred, exactly like you commanded! You can't... that must be... you..." gawd: "That's exactly why you are guilty. Did you think I gave you humans your brains for nothing? A chimp, given reading skills, could follow any written commandment by the letter without any understanding! You humans were supposed to be better than that! Damn it, I made it so easy for all of you! I made sure the bible contains 1,548 logical contradictions, 156 commandments to commit unspeakably inhuman acts, and about 3,325,993 absurdities! How much more nonsense am I supposed to provide before your realize that it can't be meant that way?! You failed the test, stupid. You failed because you were willfully ignorant. You took the easy way, the broad road, of just reading and obeying. I wanted you to think about what you read. I wanted beings able and willing to treasure the greatest gift I ever gave to any form of life - your intellect! Actually, most people did what I wanted them to do. You called them... wait a moment... humanists... no, that was the official term. You called them... yeah, that's it. Dirty sinners. Now, have a nice eternity. Hope you didn't forget your sunblocker." Of course, the same would then be true for judaism and islam. Maybe this might help some people to at least come to terms with the undisputable fact that the bible, taken literally, is a pile of fecal matter... without doing what they were taught is the inconceivable sin - leaving christianity altogether. I know the chances aren't very great, but maybe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Amen brother. That's why Atheists will be first in line into heaven. They'll get the dib on the front row to the hell-spectacle. Praise to our holy omni-impotent and omni-ignorant Glob... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Now, have a nice eternity. Hope you didn't forget your sunblocker." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I agree. If anyone deserves hell, it must be bible believing theists and their Jewish and Muslim cousins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 ...you assume that this hypothetical god wanted us to use the reasoning skills he supposedly gave us. In that sense, let's imagine for a moment that we are supposed to realize that the bible, taken literally, is bullshit and rise above it to... ." pretty much the point where most German christians I know are now: "Try your best to be a good person, period. Oh, and of course, please show up in church every once in a while so that your pastor knows you're still alive. Once a year, at christmas, is perfectly OK." The fourth reich must have emerged leaving us American goons in the dust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
- AUB - Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 That thought had occured to me as well. If there is a good god, then hell is for xtians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlinfmct87 Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 It's always seemed to me that the atheists and apostates on this forum have the deepest sort of faith I've seen. Faith in Truth. Very good thread Thurisaz. Excellent thought... Merlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogmatically_challenged Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 Outstanding Thurisaz! Since there are so many spins on the bible why can't there be room for one more that is actually good enough to have faith in. Hehe. Pastor: " Well all right folks!" " God gave us brains and a heart to interpret scripture." " Let us reason together and prove all things by looking for the hidden meanings and lessons in the bible." " Lets start with Job." " Now a lota folks have struggled with this fable given us by God." "Is God playing the cruel villain in this fable folks?" " Now be sure and show gratitude to the lord by really making it an exercise in conscience and intellect!" "Don't be shy folks, does the fable really tick you off?" " What is the moral lesson here and how can we apply it in our lives?" “ Job’s family?” “They should not have been abused for the sake of testing loyalty you say?” " So we should have respect for people who have faith in us?" “Hmmm, good point Sister Rebecca!” “What else folks?” "Did God really make it right with Job later in this fable?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 Outstanding Thurisaz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogmatically_challenged Posted July 5, 2005 Share Posted July 5, 2005 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Things are slowly starting to sink in. Humour makes the medicine go down much easier. Thanks man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 6, 2005 Share Posted July 6, 2005 Maybe this might help some people to at least come to terms with the undisputable fact that the bible, taken literally, is a pile of fecal matter... without doing what they were taught is the inconceivable sin - leaving christianity altogether. I know the chances aren't very great, but maybe... Hmmm... *Thinks about it* Nice thought, and I know some Christians who do think that way (my parents realized it, but still go to church because their friends do). But I still think that in the end, Christianity as a cult will have to fade away into history, like all the other popular cults before it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted July 6, 2005 Author Share Posted July 6, 2005 Probably yes - but at least I've tried. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts