Disappearing Mojo

[zefferus]

Movement is slow.

 

Thoughts take position

 

and remain for hours

 

surrounded by nascent,

 

subtle, scurrying desires

 

signaling destruction.

 

The frozen intensity of it

 

feels overwhelming.

 

No forward yearning,

 

no backward insight.

 

Hung, and hung, and hung...

 

Till falling, failing,

 

welcomes darkness.

 

 

Sharing this poem, or even thoughts and feelings like this with a former xtian brother or sister would've been equivalent to a prayer request, and possibly an invitation to undergo an exorcism of the demon of depression. Thinking about that brings out a resentment in me toward people in my past who would've assumed that the failure of either of those actions was my responsibility, due to lack of faith etc.

Some days I wake up in this mental/emotional state, and I still think it's better than being on anesthesizing meds. Fortunately, I'm able to suit up and show up when I need to. In fact, knowing God is imaginary and the burden is on me actually strengthens my desire to see it through. Without God I can turn to real people for real support.

Thanks,

grumpydog

[jchpiper]

I enjoyed this grumpy, very much....yum.

 

It has a dark feel to it, but a dark feel that is good....an emergence from one kind of darkness, a deceptive darkness.... into a darkness where one can see...and then realize not all is as one was led to think/believe. (If that communicates... *shrug*)

 

It is one to read and reread. The feel is slow...depicted in the words, the title, and the line spacing. I felt a little like I was doing downers while reading it.

 

I just read this morning about past and future in a book by Eric Hoffer....regarding mass movements and his view of their utilization of the past and future in order to squelch the now. (my words, not his )

 

 

Oh yes, I can see how folks would think of demon possession....small minds, some people have.