Tabula Rasa Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 As you may all know, I work in a bookstore. While I love talking to the customers , and suggesting things they might like, there are the ones that make the job difficult. A customer walks up with a copy of The Purpose Driven Life. He asks me if my life has a purpose, did I know God loves me. I told him I had a purpose and I knew God loved me. He asks me if I knew Jesus loved me. I tell him yes, because I've met him. He tells me that he'd never heard it put that way, what did I mean? I tell him I'd gotten saved. I so hated having to hide the truth, that I didn't believe in christ anymore, but if I told him that, I'd never have heard the end of it. I wish I'd known a polite way to tell the guy I didn't care to discuss my religious beliefs, because I so wanted to tell him off, but I would have got in trouble. Further it might have gotten back to my folks who aren't psycho fundie, but poor old mom would be crying, terrified I was doomed to hell and desperate to find a way to save me. In retrospect, I would have loved to recite Ingersoll's famous speech about hell, or at the very least, told the guy that I was Zoroastrian, but the second one would have puzzled him and once enlightened he'd be telling me how my "faith" was a delusion of satan. To all you folks who have had to deal with fundies like me and Xandermac have, hang in there and don't let the self righteous bastards get you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 You did the right thing in this case. Since you are on the job you can't very well tell the man what you really think. You couldn't just walk away since he is a customer, but who wants a protracted conversation at work with an uneducated, idiotic, fundy yokel? Seriously, if possible tell the fundy what he wants to hear and hopefully he will just move along. I doubt that I could have done it though. "Jeezus loves you." - Yeah, he loves me so darn much that if I don't love him I'm going to burn forever. I would not under any circumstances try to explain my own real religious beliefs (or lack thereof) to someone like that. You know the saying "don't cast your pearls before swine" actually has some truth to it. The other day I did manage to tell a client at the law firm her necklace was beautiful. She was very proud of it and was showing it off because her son had given it to her. It was really a tacky gold cross surrounded by diamonds. It was ugly, but why bring someone down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coolhermit Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Years ago, in Jerusalem, I went to a church where some Arab chrisitans were dancing about etc. After the service, a hulking great American guy came up to me and said (I thought) , "Do you know them?" (I thought he meant the dancers) so I shook my head. Bad move! He moved right into my face and began a'spieling his testimony, how he was a wrestler etc. I would have liked to tell him that it was okay cos I believed in Jesus but he did not give me an opening. And I was a seven stone weakling. On and on he droned until my only escape was to pray the sinners' prayer. He gathered a group of folks to pray with me - all linking hands etc. I prayed, "Beam me up, Scotty." Anyhow Scotty obliged, suddenly his wife started screeching at him to get a move on as they were in a hurry. He shouted back at her but she was not listening. In the end he stomped off shouting at her that she was a tool of Satan. I made my excuses and left. Pronto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophronia Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Perhaps if something like that happens again, you could say something like, "I can't talk about religion right now, being at work, but I appreciate you caring!" With a big smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 MY approach would be more... I'm working here, and I feel that this discussion is inappropriate. Would you care to purchase that book? If not, leave it on the counter and I'll return it to the shelf, later and I will gladly find someone to assist you in finding a book of your choice... When in doubt at work, 'professionalism' is one of the best masks in the world... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Back when I was a strong Christian I seemed to run into folks like that wherever I worked. They were seldom satisfied with "Yes, I'm 'saved'", always hated that term, anyway, they had to quiz me on the details to make sure I was correctly "saved". Made me want to puke even back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1oddmanout Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 SELL - SELL - SELL! Reply with something like this: "Oh, yes, you'll love that book, and Mr Warren has so many others; would you like me to show you more? Maybe you'd like to also purchase _ _ _ _ _ today along with that?" Nothing makes your employers happier (and customers running away) than a good sales pitch. And if the customer bites? More commission for you. Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I so hated having to hide the truth, that I didn't believe in christ anymore, but if I told him that, I'd never have heard the end of it. I wish I'd known a polite way to tell the guy I didn't care to discuss my religious beliefs, because I so wanted to tell him off, but I would have got in trouble. Well, most cell phones have a vibrate ring feature, so you can *answer* your cell phone without an audible ring. Just say, "hold on" and "answer" your cell phone. Just pretend it's important, really important, ring him up while on the phone and smile, say buh bye, and be done with him! If he susses out that you are on an important call, he will shut up and go without you having to lie to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 If someone asked me if my life had a purpose and did I know God loves me I would say, " My life has a purpose, but I'm not so sure about the God part. Are you ready to be checked out?" Pleasant if accompanied by a friendly smile, brief, and easily followed up by a polite "I would prefer not to discuss religion at my workplace. It can be a very contentious issue, and I want to maintain a professional demeanor at all times." if necessary. Sometimes I use this in class to avoid discussing my beliefs (or lack thereof). If anyone, staff or student, asks me directly if I believe in God I respond honestly. The way I (and the law) see it is I do not have to hide my atheism if the other teachers don't have to hide their Christianity. I choose to be quiet and discreet, though, because I teach in a very rural, conservative Christian setting. Birds don't shit in their nests, you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I really like the answers I'm hearing. I do think 'professionalism' is the best course of action based on the fact that this happened at your workplace. Nonetheless, people like that put us in a very uncomfortable situation. I think we all do get into situations like that from time to time, and it is a juggling act for us. Telling the truth about how we really feel or believe can really cost your job, but it won't always lead to that. I think discrimination of non-believers is a real issue, and it is a fact that we are outnumbered. I hope eventually that the more we come out into the open, that the brainwashed will have the courage to open their eyes and educate themselves. I understand it is hard for so many who have been fooled for so many years to come out their cocoon of false belief, but from the testimonies I've read from some of you, it does happen to even some of the most devoted. In the meantime, we do have to find a way to be brave and support our beliefs. We can learn a lot from each other about ways to handle these kinds of encounters with poise. I'll try to take some of this advice myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophronia Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I can't help but wonder if a "customer" like that is not so much interested in Books, but rather might have purchased that book as an excuse to evangelize someone. In the ear of my mind I can hear a pastor saying, "There are many ways to share the Good News of the Lord. When you buy a devotional at your local bookstore, engage the salesperson in conversation about the book. Use it as an opportunity to tell them about the Lawd." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I'm thinking, too, that a professional answer would have been quite appropriate, such as Gramps or oddman suggest. Envision this situation: A stranger comes up to you and asks about your love life, about your family relationships, about how you get along with your siblings and parents, whether your grandparents are still alive, what investments you've got, whether you're still a virgin, where you were baptized.... If that happened to me all the sirens in the universe would go off in my head. So why do we tolerate it when the same kind of personal interogation is imposed regarding our relationship with their fantasies? See how ridiculous this is? It has nothing to do with us. It has everything to do with them. And their fantasies. How in the dickens am I supposed to feel anything about some fantasy in another person's brain? I think a decent answer would have been, "Sorry I don't know what you're talking about but did you find what you were looking for?" If they push it you can say, "I'm paid to help you find the books you're looking for. Can I help you with something?" Inserting the word "paid" can give the message that you're not free to spend your time any old way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I notice quite a few of you are Canadian. I was wondering what the occurence was of these kind of scenarios in Canada. Obviousy they are very common in the mid and deep south. Here in Florida, it hasn't been nearly as bad, but you still do meet them everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 Envision this situation: A stranger comes up to you and asks about your love life, about your family relationships, about how you get along with your siblings and parents, whether your grandparents are still alive, what investments you've got, whether you're still a virgin, where you were baptized.... If that happened to me all the sirens in the universe would go off in my head. So why do we tolerate it when the same kind of personal interogation is imposed regarding our relationship with their fantasies? That is so true! If it's a personal relationship with JC then why do they think they can just assault anybody with questions about it? They would certainly never think it was appropriate to ask you about the other topics you mentioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I can relate to the guy in the store. I once took my van to the repair shop and when a fundie decided to sit by me and give me the good word--I was new in town and he could not wait to get me to attend his church, there was no escape cuz my car was still on the lift. Finally, I just told the guy I really was not interested and that was the end of the conversation. By the look on his face, one would think I kneed him in the nuts. It was almost like the mormons I ran off from my front porch. I hate the door knockers the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xandermac Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I think you done the only thing you could do Tabula. I know how you feel though. I'm still kicking myself for not coming up with some more intelligent responses to what happened the other night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 I think you done the only thing you could do Tabula. I know how you feel though. I'm still kicking myself for not coming up with some more intelligent responses to what happened the other night. You really shouldn't kick yourself, but I find myself doing the same sometimes. It's like when they do this stuff , you almost feel tasered, shocked that they have such audacity. How dare them! But..we can't say that. I think discussing this stuff is good though because we'll all be better prepared for the next event. Wouldn't it be great if we can through practice get better than them at their game. Let't that challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
upstarter Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I notice quite a few of you are Canadian. I was wondering what the occurence was of these kind of scenarios in Canada. Obviousy they are very common in the mid and deep south. Here in Florida, it hasn't been nearly as bad, but you still do meet them everywhere. At the risk of hijacking the thread, I'll respond briefly. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I realize what a fundamental difference there is up here in Canada. You said in one of your other posts here that unbelievers are "outnumbered". I would say up here, at least where I live (others' mileage may vary) the opposite is true. I think the believers are the ones that kind of cower in the corner and keep quiet about their beliefs. There is of course always a few vocal fundies but they are considered weirdos for the most part. So it would be very uncommon for this kind of thing to happen here. And if it did it would be a topic to use at cocktail parties for laughs for months. Heather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I think you done the only thing you could do Tabula. I know how you feel though. I'm still kicking myself for not coming up with some more intelligent responses to what happened the other night. You really shouldn't kick yourself, but I find myself doing the same sometimes. It's like when they do this stuff , you almost feel tasered, shocked that they have such audacity. How dare them! But..we can't say that. I think discussing this stuff is good though because we'll all be better prepared for the next event. Wouldn't it be great if we can through practice get better than them at their game. Let't that challenge. Xander, I think you're just shook up from what happened. I don't see how you could have handled it any differently. Eejay, I have been on here quite a while and it definitely helped me a few weeks ago when a missionary of some sort approached me at the bus stop. As to whether or not this "check-out line" incident would happen here in Canada. It could in the area where I live. I got evangelized by my optometrist when I was there for a regular eye examination in Aug. 2006. When I told him that he was out of line I got discharged from the records and was forced to find another optometrist. I've also been evangelized by a seat-mate on the city bus and by a missionary at the bus stop. And it's not out of the ordinary for people to use religious language in everyday talk. It seems to be the expectation that if you're white and middle-class that you're also Christian at least in name and by profession of belief. The question tends to be "What church do you go to?" rather than "Do you go to church?" As open-minded and tolerant as the population seems to be here in town compared to the horse and buggy people, since my deconversion, I have learned to steer clear of religion in all relationships that I care about. Unless I know I can trust the person. And I will call a Winter Solstice Event a Christmas Party rather than risk a relationship. Maybe I'm paranoid but I've seen the seedy underside of fundyism in this town and I need to feel safe in my own home. I don't know how my landlady would respond if she knew my position. I am versatile enough in my philosophy to accommodate "God." After all, the argument can be made from John (I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life) that God=Truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest thespankguy Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I think a simple "I don't feel that discussing my LACK of religious beliefs at work is appropriate" gets the professionalism across, as well as a slight jab at the fundy in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Harley Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 It may be a satisfying jab, but it's actually unprofessional, since you ARE discussing your opinion... to quote Bruce Lee, be as water, my friend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabula Rasa Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Thanks for all the positive vibes and suggestions folks! I've been sort of doing some quiet subversion by telling some of the people who buy Bibles about sacred texts.com. I'm thinking if they see how many different kinds of belief systems that are out there, it'll open their eyes.(Especially if they read from the Age of Reason section.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I would just say something like "Sorry but I don't discuss religion, especially at work. I hope you enjoy your book and have a nice day." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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