Need New Goals And Dreams Again

[Guest desiree]

Here is what religion has gotten me: hospitalized, unemployment, confusion, disappointment, and fear. Hospitalized because of how literally I took the Bible at one time; unemployed for the same reason of taking the bible literally after the only thing I was trained in was psychology which I later decided to refute my very own education with religion; confusion due to what is starting to be seen by me as it’s own hypocrisy and contradiction, but at one time, felt like not knowing what or which rule to obey, disappointment as if there is NO God, then my 83 year old grandfather might not be going to Heaven and I might die just the same some day; and fear, fear of loneliness, foolishness, and my own mistakes.

When I was a child, I had a grandmother tell me repeatedly I was going to go to Hell like my mother if I didn’t accept Jesus and change my ways. My mother was not married when she gave birth to me, see. Later I was sent to catechism by my mother and believed every word of it until very recently. In my twenties I became very religious and very withdrawn about my Bible time and it was excessive to the other people in my life. I lost friends who themselves were not religious, but looking back, I realize they were indeed true friends. And I lost my goals and dreams as they did not according to anything I heard or read fit in with what was following Jesus. I’m trying to get them back.

In the past fifteen years, I’ve tried several denominations of Christianity, and finally end up back where I started to only say no to it. I think there can be ethics and even morality in the absence of religion. We can ascertain right and wrong by our own consciences, laws, and reasonings I feel and I don’t mean to throw out ethics if I throw out religion, not at all. But I don’t believe people rise from the dead, I surely don’t believe our dead bodies will some day. I don’t believe two of every animal got onto an ark before a flood, one female and one male either. And, I really do not accept the ideas that one should love a god more than one loves their very own family or children. That’s for sure there. Sometimes every day a quote from the Bible I know so well comes into my mind, but that’s just because of how I have spent my time.

[Guest eejay]

Hi Desiree,

 

I wish you the best in your recovery. At least you are on your way to discovering a new way of life. I also feel that much of my life was ruined by a religious past. I can honestly say that I wish I had come to this realization a lot sooner, as I wasted so much time and energy trying to find this unknown god. I've lost many friends myself, but surprisingly because it's just been my luck that the people I've met and dealt with were quite religious and it would eventually lead to a parting of company.

 

I feel that I am at a point where I have to start over again, at nearly everything and that's tough to do at my age. It is however the best I can do right now. It just doesn't make sense to hold onto the past anymore. I am working at trying to ease the bitterness, but that hasn't come easily. So far, I haven't posted a testimony, because it's some of my early life was so bizarre, I don't even know where to begin. I do believe this is a great place to find others who are also healing and need emotional support.

[R. S. Martin]

My goals and dreams are to be happy and enjoy life. I already have my goals and dreams but this is a goal and dream that never expires so long as I live because every day it is renewed. It can also be described as enjoying the journey or smelling the flowers.

 

To begin with, I had to find out who I am and what my natural preferences and likes and dislikes were. Myers-Briggs profiles were a great tool to get me started. I wouldn't use free online stuff because it's cheap and not the real deal. I'd go for books or paid tests. But before I paid for a test I'd read up on the terminology so I'd know what the questions are about. Of course, by the time I understood the theory and terminology, I didn't need the test but that doesn't say everybody is like me.

 

For me, I'm a strong introvert. Knowing that it's normal for strong introverts not to gravitate toward socialization was a major step in the right direction. I stopped right then and there with attending family get-togethers and reunions. I didn't realize it at the time how abusive they were emotionally; all I knew was that I didn't enjoy them and I put it down to being a strong introvert. That was really good because I was able to give my family a neutral reason for not attending.

 

I don't attend parties, either, even if they are friendly. I am a "big picture" person and find it extremely difficult tolerating the chit-chat of party conversation. It's so bad that it can bring on a migraine. On the other hand, I am a "people person," and do need the human connection. Balancing these various needs is a constant challenge. However, knowing what my needs are is a major step in the right direction and I would recommend it for everyone to learn to know themselves as good as they possibly can. And always be open for new information because we keep changing and growing with time and circumstance as our lives and the world change.

[zefferus]

Hi Desiree,

 

Glad you made it here.

 

Your story, though unique to you, sounds very familiar. It's testimony to how religion tries to control through guilt, fear, and manipulation. I believe you can find support here that will help you come to terms with your past, and heal from it's wounds. Just reading some of the stories posted here has been an enlightening, and comforting experience for me. Congratulations, for having the courage to speak out! It was, and is still sometimes, hard for me.

[bellsybop]

I'm glad you made it to our forums too. I find my peace of mind amongst the people here. Hopefully you will too.

[AugustHovel]

Desiree,

 

You're in the right place. Keep working toward your recovery, and you'll be alright.

 

Best wishes,

 

Aaron

[Guest writerwriter]

We can ascertain right and wrong by our own consciences, laws, and reasonings I feel and I don’t mean to throw out ethics if I throw out religion, not at all. But I don’t believe people rise from the dead, I surely don’t believe our dead bodies will some day. I don’t believe two of every animal got onto an ark before a flood, one female and one male either. And, I really do not accept the ideas that one should love a god more than one loves their very own family or children. That’s for sure there. Sometimes every day a quote from the Bible I know so well comes into my mind, but that’s just because of how I have spent my time.

 

wow... Ok. Go get a copy of God is Not Great and of The God Delusion, in that order.

 

About the morality stuff; in The God Delusion, Dawkins writes on a simple test for morals/ethics that demonstrates those are not in any way linked to religion. Here's the short form: if someone says that there cannot be morality without religion, ask them this: if there were no religion, would they resort to crime, murder and theft? They'll for sure say no and which proves your point.

 

Secondly, the little test Dawkins writes about elicts the same responses from anyone it is put to. People are instinctually moral and ethical regardless of religion of any kind or lack thereof. Most people. It is also demonstrable and researchable that the MORE 'religious' people are, the more likely they are to commit indiscretions and crimes. It's very interesting.

 

You have no reason to fear anything. Read and write whatever you wish. There's no big bearded meanie watching over you.