GraphicsGuy Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I cannot recall if this is the exact day or not, but it's close enough and March 10th feels significant. Right around March 1, 2007 was diagnosis date and when I was first prescribed testosterone pills to alleviate the struggles, depression, emotional pain, conflict, and mental torture that pretty much described and dictated my daily existence for nearly 20 years. As I've mentioned numerous times, roughly ten days later all of my symptoms and confusion pretty much vanished. So, March 10th, 2008 (approx.) announces the one year anniversary of "normal-ness" in my life. This may be the only year I specifically "celebrate" it, but it will always be remembered as a milestone. It's not a particularly joyous celebration. More of a somber reflection on all that has transpired within the last twelve months. • Learning to live without depression and changes in personality, appetite, behavior, etc. • Standing up for myself and coping with the desires to learn and change and grow and become all that I was really meant to be. • Struggling with a shattered faith and discovering that no one had any answers. • Throwing myself full force into apostasy - denying all I had once believed. • Coming to grips with a marriage that could not be fixed and finally accepting one more blow from a wife that could not accept my deconversion. • Being torn from my family of nine years. Dealing with an ex that hates me, older children who won't listen to me, and a young child that doesn't understand what is happening. • Striking out on my own with absolutely nothing but my clothes, car, and books and no one to rely on. • Forcing myself to become active and social. To find friends. To find methods of self-expression. To find myself. • Grinding through each workday at a job that is no longer satisfying nor enjoyable. • Being brought to the point of legal battle to prove that I am a more fit parent now than I ever was before. Somehow, I keep coping even though I still face most of these issues on a daily basis. Somehow I have found the strength to carry on even though I will admit that never waking up some days would have been a blessing. Honestly though, I don't think I would have survived without this website to vent a LOT of anger on. Thanks to everyone here for always being here. I have great hope for great things during this next year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4truth Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 graphicsguy, you've had the year from hell. Congratulations on surviving. I hope 2008 is a better year for you-there's nowhere to go but up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 I can't even begin to imagine what that must've been like. You've really been through a lot, it can only get better from here right? This site really is something isn't it, glad you're on it too. Here's hoping that the next years are better and better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Honestly though, I don't think I would have survived without this website to vent a LOT of anger on. Thanks to everyone here for always being here. I have great hope for great things during this next year. GG, you have had a terrible last year. I have read and followed your story the last several months. My best wishes to you for a much better 2008. I am sure many of us here can relate to some of the challenges you have faced. I personally can really relate to these two: Forcing myself to become active and social. To find friends. To find methods of self-expression. To find myself. Grinding through each workday at a job that is no longer satisfying nor enjoyable. A continual challenge to me as well. This site has also helped me a great deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 GG, your experiences parallel my own so much. Maybe that is why your posts are among my favourite--I can identify. THERE IS LIFE AFTER HELL. And the date--if you hadn't mentioned it, the anniversary might have gone by unnoticed by me but it's the first anniversary of my mother's death. In a way, that marked the end of an old life and beginning of a new for me, too. So we celebrate together, I guess. Anyway, here's to wishing you a glad new year ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 graphicsguy, you've had the year from hell. Congratulations on surviving. I hope 2008 is a better year for you-there's nowhere to go but up! Ramen, 4truth, ramen. Yeah, I honestly can't think of too many ways that it could get worse...okay, a few but I will not focus on remote unlikelihoods. The future is looking pretty bright to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 This site really is something isn't it, glad you're on it too. Here's hoping that the next years are better and better Cheers! Hopefully we'll be seeing a lot of each other on here for the next year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 I personally can really relate to these two: Forcing myself to become active and social. To find friends. To find methods of self-expression. To find myself. Grinding through each workday at a job that is no longer satisfying nor enjoyable. A continual challenge to me as well. This site has also helped me a great deal. Glad to know we can relate...I really hope your journey is going well and also that it's a little smoother than mine...though I am quite certain things will begin to even out over the next few months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted March 11, 2008 Author Share Posted March 11, 2008 ...THERE IS LIFE AFTER HELL...So we celebrate together, I guess. Anyway, here's to wishing you a glad new year ahead. I'll drink to that mi-lady... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I can relate. You're absolutely right about this site being a great place to vent, and heal. I've found 3 months of this to be far more beneficial to my life that the years and years seeking a god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xandermac Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I know you've been through a lot G. I hope it helps you to know how much your post and videos have helped me. You are such an intelligent, sweet guy and I'm proud to call you friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I know you've been through a lot G. I hope it helps you to know how much your post and videos have helped me. You are such an intelligent, sweet guy and I'm proud to call you friend. I'll second that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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