I was paralyzed by the fear of hell

[webmdave]

Sent in by Jacolyn

 

I'm a 29-year-old female who has been an ex-Christian for about six months now after being a very devoted Christian for at least 20 years!

 

I was brought up in a Christian family (Baptist), and when I was 18, I started going to a Hillsong style church, and never looked back until six months ago.

 

The short story is that I could never understand why a good and loving God would send people to hell, no matter what the reason. Not long after I changed denominations (when I was 18) I was forced to think about hell in a more pragmatic way, as the church spoke quite openly about hell. I went through a period of depression, as all I could think about was, "Most people around me are going to hell.” Every day, with every person I encountered, I looked at them thinking, "They're probably going to hell," and I kept thinking, “What's the point?” I managed to get past that phase; I think I just tried to put it out of my mind. Eventually I managed to stop thinking about hell, and I continued going to church and being a devoted Christian.

 

I went through another period of depression a few years later, perhaps when I was about 24-25. I went to a youth conference where they talked about hell and urged us to think about our "unsaved friends and family” and to "cry out to god" for them. Well, I cried, but just to myself, depressed, thinking everything is so pointless because most people in the world are not Christian and are going to hell.

 

Again, I eventually got past the depression.

 

After a few eventful years, and after my strong Christian grandpa died, I decided to go to Japan as a missionary. I felt "God" calling me there. This was a time in my life when my faith was the absolute strongest, and I guess also where I put Christianity to the test the most. This was when I was 27.

 

After about 15 months in Japan, I came back to Australia for a short visit for my cousin’s wedding. While I was back in Australia, I attended church; the pastor preached a very awful, awful sermon about hell. He actually said, "People often say to me, ‘If God loves people, how can he send them to hell?’" His response was, "God sends people to hell BEACAUSE He loves us so much!" That made absolutely NO sense to me whatsoever!

 

But again this made me confront hell in my mind and again I got depressed, and I went back to Japan depressed. In Japan I would often walk passed funerals of old Japanese people -- most of them probably not Christian, as Japan is only about one percent Christian. As I walked past these funerals, my mind was in turmoil, my faith was in turmoil, and I was thinking, "How is it possible that that Japanese person who just died is now in hell for all eternity? That's just not acceptable!”

 

Let me just stop and say here that the one thing that stopped me from turning away from Christianity was a complete and paralyzing fear of me going to hell. Finally I overcame my fear of hell and have decided to leave Christianity. I don't fear hell anymore, and I don't get depressed about others going to hell either.

 

There is some stuff I miss of course: the church family, hope in heaven, believing that there is a God out there looking after me. But those things are not enough to make me believe again. The thought of hell is just absolutely unbelievable to me.

 

Does anyone out there have a similar story?

 

http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2008/03...ar-of-hell.html

[Guest eejay]

Obviously the x-tian religion is based on fear. Fear of not measuring up. The biggest hurdle I feel is when you stop being scared enough to really question the whole damend thing. One you you start to look at what this religion is based on, if you truly do it with an open mind, it's inevitable that you lose faith in x-tianity. It just doesn't make any sense at all. It still amazes me that so many 'smart' adults can sit back and take this in without question. I just sit back and ponder...."What is wrong with all these people?" "How can they be so blind, that they ridiculously follow?" I just consider myself so much better off since I accepted things for what they are, rather than life being guided by someone up there throwing lightning bolts at us. I think so much clearer and actually when things do go wrong, I find it much easier to emotionally deal with things. I laugh more and I am in total peace with myself, which I could not find in x-tianity.

[wonderer]

The promise of heaven gets you into the tent; the fear of hell keeps you there. That's how Christianity works. It wouldn't have survived this long without fear.

 

The thing is, in order to buy into this religion (or any religion that promises some flavor of eternal life), you have to first buy into the idea that there is, in fact, a heaven. A religion can recruit by offering hope to the hopeless, but it can't hold them once they accept that promise, without threatening to take that hope away if the rules are broken.

 

The alternative to all of this was summed up quite succinctly by John Lennon:

 

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today...

 

Rob

[mlr72]

Hi Jaclyn,

 

Just as eejay said, christianity is a fear-based religion. Any god who would create mankind, make the rest of mankind take the rap because some schmuck screwed up the cosmic order 7,000 years ago, then give us the ultimatum, "Worship me only. And if you don't, you're going to go to a place of eternal torment, and fire, and pain, and crying, and screaming, and isolation, and darkness...forever!" is not a god worthy of worship. Making such a dramatic statement does not inspire love.

 

Since I left christianity last November, I have more joy and less fear in my life than ever before. As a matter of fact, I'm less afraid of dying now than when I was in church. The biggest fear I had is, what if I don't have enough faith? What if I didn't believe hard enough? I mean after all, doesn't the bible say, trust in the lord with all your heart, might, and soul, and thou shalt be saved? What if every ounce of my faith isn't good enough to be granted eternal life? I was always afraid that if I asked a question that challenged christianity or their god's authority, that he was going to send a bolt of lightning through the roof and take me out.

 

What kind of love is that?

 

Aside from the myriad of things that make christianity a farce of a religion, I just couldn't take anymore.

 

 

Anyway, welcome to the forum. You're in good company.

[mlr72]

Errr....Jaclyn. Sorry, Wonderer.

 

Where is the edit button??

[wonderer]

Errr....Jaclyn. Sorry, Wonderer.

 

Where is the edit button??

 

The edit button is just to the left of the "quote" button at the bottom of your post.

 

Rob

[wonderer]

Since I left christianity last November, I have more joy and less fear in my life than ever before. As a matter of fact, I'm less afraid of dying now than when I was in church. The biggest fear I had is, what if I don't have enough faith? What if I didn't believe hard enough? I mean after all, doesn't the bible say, trust in the lord with all your heart, might, and soul, and thou shalt be saved? What if every ounce of my faith isn't good enough to be granted eternal life? I was always afraid that if I asked a question that challenged christianity or their god's authority, that he was going to send a bolt of lightning through the roof and take me out.

 

It's been 28 years since I left Christianity. The first time I truly felt free was the day I realized that I didn't have a clue about life after death, and didn't care that I didn't know.

 

 

Rob

[elana]

Welcome Jaclyn! Doesn't it seem awfully insane and hypocritical that a belief system supposedly based on 'love' has essentially used fear to keep us all in the pews and 'gold' in plates. Welcome to freedom.

 

elana

[MultifariousBirdLady]

<span style="font-style:italic;">Sent in by Jacolyn</span>

 

Let me just stop and say here that the one thing that stopped me from turning away from Christianity was a complete and paralyzing fear of me going to hell. Finally I overcame my fear of hell and have decided to leave Christianity. I don't fear hell anymore, and I don't get depressed about others going to hell either.

 

[snip]

 

Does anyone out there have a similar story?

 

 

Hi Jacolyn,

 

Yes, I felt similarly when I was a Christian. The fear of hell (and Satan/demons) was really strong in me as well. As a young teenager there were times when I really agonized about these issues. I eventually ended up believing that maybe God made exceptions here and there, because really I could not bear the thought of him sending so many people to hell for a mistake in their religious choice. This was sufficient for a while, until my best friend who was Jewish was shot and killed. Then I really had to confront the issue, and decided that a God so heartless that he would send people to hell for not believing in Jesus could not exist. (And if he did, he was not worthy of worship in the first place.) Despite all my doubts about God, I was still fearful that I was wrong and would be sent to hell by this tyrannical monster for not believing what I "should". I was afraid that Satan or his demons were tricking me into doubting God. I wasn't sure that I could trust my own mind, and in the end that was the most painful thing of all.

 

Eventually, the research I did both into the Bible and "cults" helped me to pull myself out of that mental trap, but not without a lot of work. Fear-based theology is really insidious, so kudos to you for finding your way out and breaking free of all that manipulative B.S.

[Eponymic]

There is some stuff I miss of course: the church family,

You can have a great family that's just as supportive outside the church. Though I understand that takes time & it's hard to have to develop new bonds.

 

hope in heaven,

there's plenty of hope to be had here on Earth, especially now that you don't have to worry about Hell being the outcome!

 

believing that there is a God out there looking after me.

You can still believe there is some time of "God' force out there. It's just not the Biblical God. 'God' doesn't have to be linked to a religion, it can be just as simple as trusting in the laws of nature & science.

 

But those things are not enough to make me believe again. The thought of hell is just absolutely unbelievable to me.

Good on ya mate! It's always amazing when someone finally comes to realize this. And you should be applauded & supported for making such a huge and important decision.

 

Personally, I could never reconcile to any religion that believes in such an extreme, unjust form of punishment. Which is even more absurd when it comes from a benevolent loving God figure. I was a Christian for spells in my life, but things like this kept me from ever being fully into religion like many others get.

[white_raven23]

The idea of hell perverts they purpose of punishment.

 

People tend to think of punishment as being primarily geared towards the misdeed, but the purpose of punishment in general has less to do with chastising someone for what they did as it is for making sure they are deterred from doing it again.

 

It is to ensure correct behavior in the future.

 

So what then, of hell?

 

There IS no "future" in hell. There is no early release for good behavior. There is no future behavior to enforce and correct.

 

So that means eternal chastisement merely for the sake of the chastisement itself. Unproductive. Non-developmental.

 

Human prisons at least, produce license plates and help keep roadsides clean. So does that make human punishment more "evolved" than god's? Looks like it to me.

[R. S. Martin]

This thread is good for me in one way but I'm still looking for the ultimate proof that hell does not exist. I'm not sure what my inner self would accept and totally trust. I've read a lot of these moral arguments on here but it's still a "what if I'm wrong?"

 

Whoever said it takes a lot of faith to be atheist had it totally right. If only the other option were not a compromise of personal integrity... If I compromise who I am then I have no basis for morality or for living life. Just obeying a set of rules doesn't work because we still have to decide on a daily, hourly basis what constitutes honesty, kindness, etc.

 

When I was still inside Christianity I realized that fear of hell was all that kept people living according to the rules of the church. I mentioned this to my sisters. One of them spoke up and denied it. I pointed out how it worked. I forget the exact conversation but the way our church worked was that if you broke the rules you couldn't have communion.

 

It seemed to me the only reason anyone cared about having communion was so they could get into heaven and not end up in hell. I had observed that people cared a LOT about being allowed to have communion. They would go out of their way and give up favourite stuff if the church made a new rule, just so they could have communion. That rule was so strong that it worked effectively as a means of social control for all except violent or criminal cases. It was far stronger than the law of the land.

 

We would obey the law of the land when and if it happened to coincide with our own rules. Our own rules came from God, so we believed, and it so happened that most of the laws of the land coincided with them. And when they didn't--protest was of such a sort that by about the time I left, the government had learned to ask the Old Order Mennonites (my people) for their position on up-coming legislation.

 

When I learned about church history and the major head-ache the Anabaptists (my religious forebears of the Reformation) caused the state authorities with their refusal to baptise their babies, I couldn't help but question whether they really were the great heroes of the faith we were taught they were. Maybe they were just a NUISANCE. Being a nuisance is not a good way to let your light shine and Jesus said to let your light shine. We all know the command.

 

Apparently, all this to-do was just a means by which to stay out of hell. When I explained it this way, my sister agreed that, in fact, it was.

 

We are taught every day of the week that truth can stand on its own. We are taught seven days of the week to be truthful and honest in all things and that the truth will make you free, etc. But if ever you actually challenge the truth of what the sermons and bible contain, you're herded back into the fold faster than you could get out and if need be a whip is used. Blood hounds are not unheard of. The bottom line is to get you back in and KEEP YOU THERE.

 

I outwitted the blood hounds--they can't climb trees, you know. I know that a number of my siblings did not and I feel so bad for them. Not much I can do about it.

 

It's very complicated. Fear of hell is definitely an important part of it. For a community the size ours was, I am not sure if money can be said to be terribly important. What is important is to hold the community together. But yeah, if there had been a major split in the community, finances could have become a problem, given that they refused all forms of government aid and footed all their own hospital bills and insurance. They might have had to start using birth control (cut back on family size and hospital bills). Oops, I'm speaking in the past tense as though they no longer existed.

 

Maybe that's because I'm not there anymore to see how they operate. One thing I know, if ever they do decide to cut family size, there will be far-reaching consequences, just like there have been for the rest of society. I'm not sure if they could keep up the traditional family farm and that would really change the face of their community because their entire community and way of life (including social life) is built on the model and schedule of the family farm.

 

Oh, and it's all in the name of keeping people from dropping into hell.

 

They won't put it that way but what else do they mean when they talk about proper rearing of their children, protecting them from the temptations of the world, etc.? I've been there and done my very best to find justification for religion--theirs or anyone else's. I've given it the best years of my life. AND IT FAILED.

 

Maybe that's the justification for no hell--if the rest of the teaching is false then that teaching must be just as false. I've proven to my satisfaction that god is a psychological thing and that the "evidence" for a historical Jesus is too slim to be accepted (if it were any other argument under the sun, my profs would reject it because the evidence does not bear it out), so the only remaining item is whether or not hell is real. And somehow I can not really get hung up over that one (lots of sincere Christians don't even believe in it) but it won't go away, either. But now that I really think about it this way, if the rest of the teachings cannot be substantiated, then why would the hell doctrine be substantiatable (is that a word?)? In other words, why would hell be real if the other parts of the teaching are not?

 

So god is a psychological thing. There is no evidence of the historical Jesus. Satan is obviously so much bull shit. As is the rest of the "heavenly realm." So hell must be on a par with all the rest. The only reason it matters so much is: WHAT IF I'M WRONG.

 

I will have lots of company.

 

Correct.

 

But pain is still pain. An eternity of it is an awfully long time.

 

Come to think of it, THAT particular argument--being made to suffer an eternity of pain--makes so little sense that no thinking person can accept it and those who do accept it seem either to have a need for vengeance or they seem not to have the capacity to truly and really think very deeply on such abstract topics for any length of time. They need a "shock effect" to know they're alive, or something equally bizzare. Jacolyn, I'm thinking of your severe struggle with it and maybe it's not fair to put it that way. I also had a serious problem with it but learned to live with it--actually, I found more and more ways for God to excuse more and more people the older I got. I don't know what I would have done if I had to raise kids and pass on the teaching. But people like that crazy preacher seem to have some kind of need for it.

[Odin]

There is no reason to fear "Hell", because Hell is just not translated correctly.

 

There are 2 types of Hell.

 

Type 1:

 

The word in Hebrew and Aramaic is Gehenna, which is a real place, just outside of Jerusalem, where garbage is burnt, and the worms, that eat the garbage never die, because they get a constant supply of food.

 

Bodies of convicted and executed criminals are burnt there too, instead of being buried. You don't spend eternity in fire. That's a fear tactic, that church people use, by mistranslating the Bible.

 

Type 2:

 

The word Sheol (in Hebrew) and the word Hades (in Greek) are referring to the underworld, where the dead sleep. It's just the sleeping place of the dead, the common grave, where there's no activity. It's NOT a place of torture.

 

 

Here's an example:

 

The book of Revelation says "Hell will be cast in to the Lake of Fire".

 

Sheol (death / the dead people) will be cast in to Gehenna (the Lake of Fire).

 

They cleverly translated it this way, cause... it will be weird to say "Hell will be cast in to Hell."

 

 

 

It's easy to recognize fear tactics, just by asking a well-educated Jewish Rabbi.

[hereticzero]

The god of Christianity is the same god that cursed all of mankind to die over eating a piece of produce--not to mention the transgression was Adam and Eve's first mistake. He is also the one that drowned everyone, too. He has such a short memory, he has to put a rainbow in the sky to remind him not to throw a fit again ... Then, he turns Lot's wifey into a salt-lick while they are fleeing from Sodom and Gomorrah. Now, we have a loving god that loves us so much he delights in terrorizing those who love him. (sigh!)

 

Honestly, how much fiction are we willing to believe just to feel better about ourselves?