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Goodbye Jesus

Psychological Confusion


Odin

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I was a Christian fundamentalist for 6-7 months. I was brainwashed by fear tactics and false promises.

 

But later when I actually started a research on Christianity's origins and early ideas, I decided, that there was no reason to fear anymore.

 

Now I'm trying to return to my atheist world view, but no matter how I try, I still feel like I'm bound to believing in God. I just can't stop. I'm trapped in this 'god-did-it' mentality. Whatever amount of faith I have left must still be effecting me. It makes me so frustrated. No matter how much history I read about the origins of Judaism and Christianity, and how they developed, I still feel like I'm bound to believing in the Judeo-Christian God. This semi-belief just wont get out of my head!

 

It's like I've been robbed of my critical thinking. I feel confused.

 

Am I somehow addicted to this belief? Is it just a phase, that every ex-Christian fundamentalist goes through?

 

At least now I know a fraction of this delusion and its effects on the human mind.

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Hey, Odin.

 

The faith required by Christianity is mind altering. It takes time to kick the habit. Normal brain function will return. You no longer have to fear biblegod.

 

Don't try so hard to be atheist, or anything, at this point. Take some time to sort out what makes sense and what is bullshit, and you will reach a comfortable conclusion eventually.

 

All the best,

- Chris

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Odin,

 

Welcome to the forums!

 

If you feel you've lost your ability to think critically, be assured you share this feeling with many people -- it's the result most desired by Christian brainwashers. But take your recognition of your current state of mind as a positive indicator of the beginning of recovery.

 

I have no idea what means and methods of brainwashing might have been used on you in Bulgaria, or whether they're significantly different from those most familiar to the members here. If you'd care to describe the nature of the assaults on your mental clarity, this is a safe place to do it.

 

Meanwhile, please join in on discussions and get that critical faculty going again.

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Am I somehow addicted to this belief? Is it just a phase, that every ex-Christian fundamentalist goes through?

 

At least now I know a fraction of this delusion and its effects on the human mind.

 

Yes, it is likely a phase. But, since you were not xtian very long, it's not going to be hard for you at all, in fact, I would bet money that if you read the link I give you in full, you won't have any problem at all.

 

http://godisimaginary.com/

 

take care

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Odin,

 

Welcome to the forums!

 

If you feel you've lost your ability to think critically, be assured you share this feeling with many people -- it's the result most desired by Christian brainwashers. But take your recognition of your current state of mind as a positive indicator of the beginning of recovery.

 

I have no idea what means and methods of brainwashing might have been used on you in Bulgaria, or whether they're significantly different from those most familiar to the members here. If you'd care to describe the nature of the assaults on your mental clarity, this is a safe place to do it.

 

Meanwhile, please join in on discussions and get that critical faculty going again.

 

Oh I wasn't brainwashed in person. It was over the internets (don't ask). Internet Christians can be more dangerous than in-real-life Christians.

 

Bulgarian Orthodox Christians don't give a s**t about who goes to Heaven or Hell and they'd rather stay away from government affairs and people's private lives.

 

So, anyway. It was the Evangelicals.

 

Evangelicals used the hope of reward and fear of punishment tactic. A very basic method.

 

They also used alleged "confirmed testimonies" of people, who supposedly felt God's "divine love" in spirit, and God speaking to them and all that. I don't know how they could've confirmed that, but hey... some people have the ability to brainwash just by their influential voice.

 

And when I said "lost the ability to reason", I didn't mean it like, in all fields of my life. I know it's a common effect on the human mind.

 

And, yea. I think I'm on the path to recovery. I've recently started laughing at Christians when they say "Jayzus died fo' yer sins." or "If ya accept the Lawd yer Gawd today, yo gonna go to Heaven and play with Geezus".

 

 

Thanks guys.

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If you're laughing at the idiocy, Odin, that's the best sign of all!

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Brainwashing take time. Something had to initially hook into you to pull you in so they could start in on you. Do you have a sense of what that was?

 

Rob

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If you're laughing at the idiocy, Odin, that's the best sign of all!

 

 

I don't really understand brainwashing tactics and I don't remember much of what happened.

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If you're laughing at the idiocy, Odin, that's the best sign of all!

 

 

I don't really understand brainwashing tactics and I don't remember much of what happened.

 

There are many tactics of brainwashing. One is to catch people VERY young and impressionable, and drill the stuff into their head through repetition.

 

That is the method used by most religion.

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Guest Freepagan

Odin, brainwashing uses a little truth and mixes it with a lot of lies. Christians who try to brainwash you will many times tell you something that most or all people can agree with, but then they put a religious spin on whatever you happen to agree with. The bait consists of facts, but once they think they've got you with the facts, whatever the facts may be, then they reel you in with fantastical things.

Keep thinking critically.

 

~Yolanda~

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And, yea. I think I'm on the path to recovery. I've recently started laughing at Christians when they say "Jayzus died fo' yer sins." or "If ya accept the Lawd yer Gawd today, yo gonna go to Heaven and play with Geezus".

A Bulgarian with the southern evangelical accent down pat! What'er the odds?

Welcome to the boards, Odin my friend.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Odin,

 

I was once an evangelical myself. Freeing myself of that irrational, judgmental (though their Scriptures say "judge not lest ye be judged") and poisonous mumbo jumbo was the best thing I could've done!

 

I had let religion influence me off and on for much of my life, and it took an in-depth study of the Bible (which mixes love and hate, forgiveness and vengeance, good and sinister, heaven and hell) before I was finally able to say "Enough! This is nonsense!"

 

I congratulate you for seeing through the lies, and wish you the best in completely freeing yourself from Christianity's thought control. It's ironic that you seem to be plagued by a "demon" that claims to be a god. Just be thankful that the "demon" isn't real. Don't be haunted by the make-believe views of Christians or their "holy" scriptures.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest maryr_32

I think it's SO interesting how so many of us began deconverting BECAUSE of reading the Bible. I honestly believe if enough Christians READ, UNDERSTOOD, STUDIED the Bible, they would go "HUH???" It's funny how most Christians either don't read the Bible at all or they read little bits and pieces....You really have to read the whole thing to get the real effect!!!!!

All the contradictions. All the things God did in the OT - Wonder how many people really think of the flood and realize all the innocent people that were drowned? Babies, even little animals. Why? So he could start over? Honestly, if there is a god, couldn't he have just decided to start over, removed, painlessly, the people besides Noah and his family? The poor animals, though. What on earth did they do to deserve that:? Anyway, actually reading the Bible through 3 times during my fundy phase made me begin to question. My mother keeps telling me NOW that I need to read the Bible again, I ned to go to church, etc...... guilt, guilt. Well, I try to explain to her that the more I read the bible the worse my faith got but she's one of the sheep - total blind faith and totally anti-intellectual - we have nothing in common!!

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A picture I've posted many times, Mary

 

310px-Gustave_Dore_Deluge.jpg

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What sickens me the most about Christianity is the fact, that it buys your loyalty with fear. Fear, indoctrination, fanaticism, lies, violence, censorship, guilt, self-loathing are all tools of Christianity.

 

I still feel ashamed, that I bought in to this bulls**t religion in the first place.

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Would you REALLY want to go to heaven anyway? A place where we can live eternally worshipping Jesus...yeah...uh huh....sure, I'll deny savoring the only existance I know for the possibility of that, yeah.....

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It's like I've been robbed of my critical thinking. I feel confused.

 

As well you should. Chrisitianity thrives on causing confusion in people. It's part of how it keeps people off balance & fearful.

 

Am I somehow addicted to this belief?

Um, well....Yes. :)

People can get addicted to anything really. And fear, belief, and security can be just as addictive as heroin.

 

Is it just a phase, that every ex-Christian fundamentalist goes through?

 

Yes, it is a phase. You can find your way out of it. The length of time, is up to you. Some take longer than others. But as long as you keep your mind open you will slowly see more and more light until you come out of the tunnel.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest singerc1
I think it's SO interesting how so many of us began deconverting BECAUSE of reading the Bible. I honestly believe if enough Christians READ, UNDERSTOOD, STUDIED the Bible, they would go "HUH???" It's funny how most Christians either don't read the Bible at all or they read little bits and pieces....You really have to read the whole thing to get the real effect!!!!!

All the contradictions. All the things God did in the OT - Wonder how many people really think of the flood and realize all the innocent people that were drowned? Babies, even little animals. Why? So he could start over? Honestly, if there is a god, couldn't he have just decided to start over, removed, painlessly, the people besides Noah and his family? The poor animals, though. What on earth did they do to deserve that:? Anyway, actually reading the Bible through 3 times during my fundy phase made me begin to question. My mother keeps telling me NOW that I need to read the Bible again, I ned to go to church, etc...... guilt, guilt. Well, I try to explain to her that the more I read the bible the worse my faith got but she's one of the sheep - total blind faith and totally anti-intellectual - we have nothing in common!!

 

 

I never really thought about that before (babies dying in the flood). It's interesting if you strip the biblical stories down to a sentence or two how absolutely ridiculous they are. And like you said, why did that even need to happen? How could a perfect God mess up somethign so badly that he needed to start from scratch basically.

anyway to the original poster.

I'm going through the exact same thing (but unlike you i've been fed christianity for 18 years!!!). So you're definately not alone. It is/will be a battle but eventually your logic will overcome everything, atleast that's what I keep telling myself.

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I think it's SO interesting how so many of us began deconverting BECAUSE of reading the Bible. I honestly believe if enough Christians READ, UNDERSTOOD, STUDIED the Bible, they would go "HUH???" It's funny how most Christians either don't read the Bible at all or they read little bits and pieces....You really have to read the whole thing to get the real effect!!!!!

All the contradictions. All the things God did in the OT - Wonder how many people really think of the flood and realize all the innocent people that were drowned? Babies, even little animals. Why? So he could start over? Honestly, if there is a god, couldn't he have just decided to start over, removed, painlessly, the people besides Noah and his family? The poor animals, though. What on earth did they do to deserve that:? Anyway, actually reading the Bible through 3 times during my fundy phase made me begin to question. My mother keeps telling me NOW that I need to read the Bible again, I ned to go to church, etc...... guilt, guilt. Well, I try to explain to her that the more I read the bible the worse my faith got but she's one of the sheep - total blind faith and totally anti-intellectual - we have nothing in common!!

 

 

I never really thought about that before (babies dying in the flood). It's interesting if you strip the biblical stories down to a sentence or two how absolutely ridiculous they are. And like you said, why did that even need to happen? How could a perfect God mess up somethign so badly that he needed to start from scratch basically.

anyway to the original poster.

I'm going through the exact same thing (but unlike you i've been fed christianity for 18 years!!!). So you're definately not alone. It is/will be a battle but eventually your logic will overcome everything, atleast that's what I keep telling myself.

 

Ever thought about the issue of all the dead animal and human corpses rotting after the flood dried up? No one thinks about that. Bet Noah and his family had a shit load of cleaning to do. Not to mention how much vegitation and land resources would of been moved around and destroyed, and the environmental affect/shift it would of had on the planet.

 

Was the flood a fresh water or salt water flood? That's a major thing to think about since we have such little freshwater compared to saltwater.

 

The bible says Noah loaded animals... what about insects? Bees sure are important to humanity, but the bible never mentions that.

 

I think they should make a Noahs Ark playset which includes a green- armymen type bucket of drowned humans and animals. All molded with the most extreme dying terror look on their faces. Mothers clinging to their drowned babies, body parts where the force of the rushing waters ripped the people to pieces. All this would be wrapped in a rainbow stripped packaged, you know cause rainbows make slaughters all better.

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Not to mention water falling at a rate of one inch every ten seconds (or 30 feet/hour... Height of Mount Everest divided by forty days). :eek:

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Guest singerc1
I think it's SO interesting how so many of us began deconverting BECAUSE of reading the Bible. I honestly believe if enough Christians READ, UNDERSTOOD, STUDIED the Bible, they would go "HUH???" It's funny how most Christians either don't read the Bible at all or they read little bits and pieces....You really have to read the whole thing to get the real effect!!!!!

All the contradictions. All the things God did in the OT - Wonder how many people really think of the flood and realize all the innocent people that were drowned? Babies, even little animals. Why? So he could start over? Honestly, if there is a god, couldn't he have just decided to start over, removed, painlessly, the people besides Noah and his family? The poor animals, though. What on earth did they do to deserve that:? Anyway, actually reading the Bible through 3 times during my fundy phase made me begin to question. My mother keeps telling me NOW that I need to read the Bible again, I ned to go to church, etc...... guilt, guilt. Well, I try to explain to her that the more I read the bible the worse my faith got but she's one of the sheep - total blind faith and totally anti-intellectual - we have nothing in common!!

 

 

I never really thought about that before (babies dying in the flood). It's interesting if you strip the biblical stories down to a sentence or two how absolutely ridiculous they are. And like you said, why did that even need to happen? How could a perfect God mess up somethign so badly that he needed to start from scratch basically.

anyway to the original poster.

I'm going through the exact same thing (but unlike you i've been fed christianity for 18 years!!!). So you're definately not alone. It is/will be a battle but eventually your logic will overcome everything, atleast that's what I keep telling myself.

 

Ever thought about the issue of all the dead animal and human corpses rotting after the flood dried up? No one thinks about that. Bet Noah and his family had a shit load of cleaning to do. Not to mention how much vegitation and land resources would of been moved around and destroyed, and the environmental affect/shift it would of had on the planet.

 

Was the flood a fresh water or salt water flood? That's a major thing to think about since we have such little freshwater compared to saltwater.

 

The bible says Noah loaded animals... what about insects? Bees sure are important to humanity, but the bible never mentions that.

 

I think they should make a Noahs Ark playset which includes a green- armymen type bucket of drowned humans and animals. All molded with the most extreme dying terror look on their faces. Mothers clinging to their drowned babies, body parts where the force of the rushing waters ripped the people to pieces. All this would be wrapped in a rainbow stripped packaged, you know cause rainbows make slaughters all better.

 

 

 

Unfortunately I'm new to this logical thinking thing *rolls eyes* so that never crossed my mind. I always knew something was wrong but I never really really thought about it.

Although I did try to tell my mom that there's no way 2 animals of every kind could fit and she laughed in my face. It's frustrating that people think we're the confused ones...

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