Odin Posted April 5, 2008 Share Posted April 5, 2008 "God loves you." Translates: "Join my cult, so I can brainwash ya." __ "Evolution is an evil lie from Satan." Translates: "Evolution is true, but since it threatens my cult, I must reject it." __ "We pray for you, atheists." Translates: "We tell God how much we hate you, for making fun of our cult." __ "Jesus camp." Translates: "Brainwashing facility, where children are sent, to accept the lies of our cult." __ "Jesus died for your sins." Translates: "We're a death-worshiping cult." __ "Go to Hell!" Translates: "I hate you for not accepting my cult." __ "God is real!" Translates: "God is a tool to control the masses." __ "Evolution never happened." Translates: "Truth is a democracy." __ "God loves you, but if you don't accept Him, He'll throw you in hell." Translates: "I'm a psychopath!" __ "Jesus fulfilled all messianic prophecies." Translates: "I'm completely ignorant of my own theology!" __ "Atheists are devil worshipers!" Translates: "Atheists have the decency to be honest with themselves, therefor I must shun them." __ "I'm Catholic" Translates: "I got raped by my priest/pastor." __ "The Bible is the absolute moral guide of my life!" Translates: "I go around stoning people to death, for the simple 'crime' of having sexual thoughts" __ "I go to church." Translates: "I go to cult meetings." __ "How can 2 billion people [Christians] be wrong?" Translates: "Whoa! My cult brainwashed 2 billion people?!" __ "Why don't you just believe in God?" Translates: "Why don't you just shut down your brain?" __ "Da Bible sayz you wuz created by da Lawd!" Translates: "I'm from Texas!" __ "I tell my children all about Jesus!" Translates: "I indoctrinate my children, so they can be brainwashed for the rest of their lives." __ "All other religions are a lie from Satan!" Translates: "I'm an intolerant ignoramus!" __ "The Bible is true!" Translates: "I know nothing about science, history, ethics and general rationality!" __ "Stem cell research and abortion are evil!" Translates: "I wanna slow down human progress, so my cult can thrive!" __ "Let Jesus control every aspect of your life!" Translates: "Give up your freedom of thought, so my cult can control your life!" __ "Hinduism is an idolatrous religion!" Translates: "I'm a hypocrite!" __ "Let go of your pride!" Translates: "Oh, look at me! I have a personal relationship with the creator of the entire Universe, even though I'm nothing but a billionth of an electron, compared to Him!" LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MesaGman Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 China is a Godless country of commie Athiests translates: We all shop at Walmart, because they have such Christian values, such as Hard work ethic, and we save alot of money..... even though they help enslave fellow Christians in work camps, who became Christians because we snuck in bibles... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoustonHorn Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 "Da Bible sayz you wuz created by da Lawd!" Translates: "I'm from Texas!" Hey now, let's not go overboard Seriously though, those are pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comanche Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 "Da Bible sayz you wuz created by da Lawd!" Translates: "I'm from Texas!" I used to wish I had an accent like everyone from the more eastern part of the state. Now I'm really, really glad I don't. Now we need to start making those electronic translators for Christian to English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cm_christ Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 This is great, i know some other freethinkers in my school who will get a kick out of this :> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazycatlady Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 "I'll pray for you." Translates: "You definitely needing praying, you foolish idiot!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MesaGman Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Homosexuality is a mental illness that can be treatable Translation: God Hates Fags. com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuaiDan Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 "Jesus died for your sins." Translates: "We're a death-worshiping cult." Slight syntax error there. Should be "We're a zombie worshiping death cult." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoustonHorn Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 "I'll pray for you." Translates: "You definitely needing praying, you foolish idiot!" Another translation for "I'll pray for you". "I want to gossip about your problems to my friends, but if I call it gossip I'd feel guilty about it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 "I'll pray for you." Translates: "You definitely needing praying, you foolish idiot!" Another translation for "I'll pray for you". "I want to gossip about your problems to my friends, but if I call it gossip I'd feel guilty about it." Or "I don't want to do anything to actually help you, because that would require time, effort and possibly money. But wishing for good things to happen to you allows me to feel good about myself, and to get away with being lazy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Broke Free Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 “Can I Share Some Good News With You?†Translation… I hate myself and my life and I could use some company Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 "I respect your beliefs, but the doors are always open!" (said to me by ex-boy-Vendredie after the whole band-director scandal) Translation: "I don't like the fact you're an atheist, and coming to my church would make me feel better and might get you back into Christianity!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MesaGman Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 The Dead shall rise from the Graves when the Trumpet of St Gabriel calls...... Translations: It's ok for Christians to believe in zombies crawling out of the dirt. But when Voodoo believes it that's Satan worship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 'What would Jesus do?' Translates into: 'I ain't got a friggin' clue!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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