Brother Jeff Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 I just thought it would be cool to start a thread listing things we can praise God for. I'll start us off: 1. I praise God for sunshine. 2. I praise God for my cat. 3. I praise God for... everything! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 LOL Jeff - which god are you talking about? Aren't you an atheist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen_Richard_Webb Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 I'm confused...[*said in the hilarious Lewis Black fashion*] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 I just thought it would be cool to start a thread listing things we can praise God for. I'll start us off: 1. I praise God for sunshine. 2. I praise God for my cat. 3. I praise God for... everything! Glory! He-he-he! Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho! God is praising himself. Glorious sunshiny spring day--just when we thought winter would never end! There really must absolutely be a god because otherwise winter really would never end. Praise God for the Magically Undead SkyMan and his faithful servant Brother Jeff in Alaska, the Land of Eternal Snow. Brother Jeff, I praise God that with your fervent praise and glory worship services the snow and ice will eventually melt even in that far-off frozen NorthLand of Alaska. The frozen rock will throw heat and the towering mountain of ice and snow flee into the foundations of the earth, and hide in the river that runs to the ocean. Yea, I will sing praise to the Lord for I can write psalms like Old David! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthOkkata Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 I just thought it would be cool to start a thread listing things we can praise God for. I'll start us off: 1. I praise God for sunshine. 2. I praise God for my cat. 3. I praise God for... everything! Glory! I praise god for Santa Clause! I praise god for the Easter Bunny! I praise god for Virgin Birth! I praise god for high gas prices! I praise god for economic chaos! I praise god for terrorism! I praise god for giving George Bush a brain! I praise god for making 'The Pengin' Vice President! God! Fuck yeah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I was back home with the folks recently and , against my better judgment, went to church with them. I won't bore you with all the details, but the sermon was about angels and the general idea is that God created angels to worship him unceasingly. And that the most important thing we can do is worship, and look forward to going to heaven so we can worship some more.... Everyone nodded and amened that. :Sigh: What is wrong with these people? Doesn't that just scream narcissism? What kind of God makes a whole bloody universe complete with sentient species, just to worship him? Oh well, Im sure you guys have heard this stuff, and worse, many a time. It just amazes me that this whole idea doesn't seem completely ridiculous to them, or at least repugnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Oh great god, reincarnation of brother jeff, please bring us free HBO and Cinemax! The devil charges soooo much for this stuff. BTW, you aren't allergic to wooden crosses and iron nails are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Praise god for satan! lol BJ strikes again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Praise God for evolution! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kozimoto Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Praise god for polygamy! Praise god for potatoes! Praise god for making minions to praise him! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Praise God for Brother Jeff! Glory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xandermac Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Praise god for cancer yeah! Aids, Starving children, War, Poverty, and George Bush! Hallelujah! Bless his sweet name! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 An off-topic shout at Ruby.. Hey girl, NICE new avatar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L.B. Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 I praise god for creating everything, even the things that took thousands and millions of years to grow, in just six 24-hour periods. I praise god that he created all of us as damnable sinners deserving of hell. He did this, KNOWING that we were damnable, and yet he MADE US THAT WAY, so I praise god that he decided that we were all fucked before we even got started. What's more, I praise god for sending himself to be a sacrifice to himself to save us from himself because of all the shit we did that pissed him off even though he made us as beings which are absolutely incapable of doing anything BUT pissing him off. I praise god even more that after he did all the getting pissed off, making shit, damning his creation and then making ABSOLUTELY ONLY ONE WAY to heaven and reconciliation with himself, he sent us a book full of contradictions, myths, fables, lies and stupid shit enough to fry a normal brain like an egg. I praise god that when he gave us this book, he gave us oh-so-enlightened sages like Robertson and Hinn and so on to interpret the mysteries of the book... no wait, I mean the pope... no wait, Joe Smith... wait, dammit, I mean Ellen White... no, that's not it... it's C.T. Russell... or maybe... aw, fuck it. TURN OFF YOUR BRAIN WITH ME AND LET'S PRAISE GOD! GLORY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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