Jessica Sideways Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 For those of you who don't know, going to a Christian church for the first time after becoming an atheist is quite creepy. The first thing you think... well, I am just going to speak for myself here. Most everyone (if not everyone) in the church I went to was a complete moron. When I told them that I am an ex-Christian atheist, one guy told me that there was no such thing as an atheist (crazy, right?). We continue 'fellowshipping' which is a nice way of saying that I am damned to either heaven or hell depending on whether or not I believe in their god and that's pretty much how our conversations went until the service began. After that, the service began and it was fairly tame at first. But once everyone gathered in the auditorium, the thought stopping processes began. Basically, these generally include singing esoterically familiar song that we all know and clapping, sitting down/standing up and all sorts of crazy shit. I was so tempted to jump up in front of everyone and yell out "You people are fucking nuts!" But I erred on the side of diplomacy and just sat there quietly looking up the verses the pastor said on the Skeptics Annotated Bible (you have got to LOVE cellular Internet). My closing remark? Thank god I am an atheist. P.S. What happened to God is Imaginary.com and Why Wont God Heal Amputees.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Why would you go to church if you're an atheist? Just curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Sideways Posted April 7, 2008 Author Share Posted April 7, 2008 Because I wanted to see if everything I was saying about it was true or if I was just making broad generalizations. Turns out that I really wasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bellsybop Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Bet you could slap yourself on the forehead now and say, "Wow, I could've had a V-8"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonolithTMA Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 P.S. What happened to God is Imaginary.com and Why Wont God Heal Amputees.com http://godisimaginary.com/ http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/ Both come up for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I went back and forth to church several times before I quit going altogether. I think I wanted to see if I still felt the same way about it all or if I had actually heard what I thought I was hearing from the pulpit. Life has been easier since I stopped going back and forth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cm_christ Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 Suprised you had the guts to admit to them your were no longer a christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Sideways Posted April 7, 2008 Author Share Posted April 7, 2008 P.S. What happened to God is Imaginary.com and Why Wont God Heal Amputees.com http://godisimaginary.com/ http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/ Both come up for me. Thanks, I just checked them. Strangely enough, they didn't work yesterday morning for me. Suprised you had the guts to admit to them your were no longer a christian. I am suprised that I didn't have the guts to tell them when they were talking about 'planting seeds' and 'the healing hand of god' that I didn't jump up and say "Oh yeah, then why won't god heal amputees?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanaslove Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I left Catholicism first then the non-denom Christianity but my husband's family are active Catholics, so we've gone to occasional baptism's and weddings etc in the Catholic church only. Going to service is always boring and pointless. I try to keep myself from chucking at the unified responses to the priest. It's hard to believe sometimes that these adults can't see how cultist they appear. The last baptism I went to, the priest looked right at me when he was asking everyone if they 'rebuke satan'. I had a huge smile on my face and barely kept in my laughter. I wanted so bad to jump up , give the 'devil's sign' and yell 'no way satan is awesome!' while waving my tongue at him. But I guess going back a few times was a good thing for me, personally. It gave me closure to know I am totally out and can never be lured back in. On the other hand, I could never set foot in a charismatic church again, those people would just piss me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I go for weddings and funerals. It sorta seems like a surreal sitcom to me. I keep waiting for the emcee to pop out and announce "we'll be right back to our show after these messages." Church is a parody of itself. Edited cus i r a graduatte uv huked on fonics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Sideways Posted April 7, 2008 Author Share Posted April 7, 2008 I left Catholicism first then the non-denom Christianity but my husband's family are active Catholics, so we've gone to occasional baptism's and weddings etc in the Catholic church only. Going to service is always boring and pointless. I try to keep myself from chucking at the unified responses to the priest. It's hard to believe sometimes that these adults can't see how cultist they appear. The last baptism I went to, the priest looked right at me when he was asking everyone if they 'rebuke satan'. I had a huge smile on my face and barely kept in my laughter. I wanted so bad to jump up , give the 'devil's sign' and yell 'no way satan is awesome!' while waving my tongue at him. But I guess going back a few times was a good thing for me, personally. It gave me closure to know I am totally out and can never be lured back in. On the other hand, I could never set foot in a charismatic church again, those people would just piss me off. Or how about, "He can give you Sex, Drugs and House!" ^^ Seriously though, I have tried to picture the perfect wedding since I started my transition and it's probably going to be with another femme lesbian, in a catholic church, but we'll be hiring an organist (who will sure as hell be playing In a Gadda Da Vida for the Wedding March) and a humanist officiant. But I know that the Catholics wouldn't allow that so I am going to have to find some other way to fenagle that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric_PK Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 I've been to a few ceremonies in the past few years - wedding, etc. - where there are prayers, and I find it amusing to look around while others are praying. Often there are others doing the same thing, and a couple of times I've been surprised at who it was. Of course, I live in a relatively unchurched state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Sideways Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 I've been to a few ceremonies in the past few years - wedding, etc. - where there are prayers, and I find it amusing to look around while others are praying. Often there are others doing the same thing, and a couple of times I've been surprised at who it was. Of course, I live in a relatively unchurched state. Lucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstu09 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I go to Mass whenever I'm home for holidays. My mom knows it's just for show, and it keeps my grandma from complaining. It's boring and annoying, but midnight mass at Christmas is actually still rather enjoyable, with the candlelight, the choir concert, and the wreaths everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Sideways Posted April 8, 2008 Author Share Posted April 8, 2008 I go to Mass whenever I'm home for holidays. My mom knows it's just for show, and it keeps my grandma from complaining. It's boring and annoying, but midnight mass at Christmas is actually still rather enjoyable, with the candlelight, the choir concert, and the wreaths everywhere. Yeah, that's gotta be teribbly creepy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gradstu09 Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I go to Mass whenever I'm home for holidays. My mom knows it's just for show, and it keeps my grandma from complaining. It's boring and annoying, but midnight mass at Christmas is actually still rather enjoyable, with the candlelight, the choir concert, and the wreaths everywhere. Yeah, that's gotta be teribbly creepy. Doubly so when you get the annoying priest and he's got a penchant for harping on about 'sexual sin' and repentance like a fundie protestant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted April 8, 2008 Share Posted April 8, 2008 I try real hard NOT to get myself into that situation. I can't really remember the last time I willingly went to church or for what reason. My parents funeral had a preacher from their church come over to the wake, and also at the burial site, but that wasn't really going to church. I remember my catholic friend trapping me one time, I'd say more than 4 years ago, when I was in the area. We went out to lunch, in her car, as I came in by plane. After lunch she said she had to stop by the precious blood monestary. Well, she got me trapped in the afternoon rosary. I suppose I could have sat outside in a cold car in NH, but I didn't realize till it started that this was what she was going there for. I thought she was just going to light a few candles or something. I was pissed, but I kept my fucking mouth shut. I will never go back to catholicism or x-tianity. Why don't people just fucking get it. Anyway it does surprise me that one would go back and sit through it as an atheist, willingly. I just won't waste my time, or have people ask me stupid questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marie Posted April 10, 2008 Share Posted April 10, 2008 I don't think I'd be able to go back and sit through a Mass, a Rosary, anything communal or organized- because I'd feel too mind-tripped, too messed-with, and too flashbacky. I'd also feel all kinds of awkward, out-of-place and totally unwelcome. That said, though, I could go there alone and just sit and think. There were some comforting things about the church that I have to admit to missing- the still silence when there by myself, the smells, the cultural comfort of all those statues... Just out of curiosity: If you're still dealing with so much anger for your former church that it actually has you feeling hostile, why have you chosen to go back to a place guaranteed to trigger it? Not criticizing; just honestly confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piprus Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Because I wanted to see if everything I was saying about it was true or if I was just making broad generalizations. Turns out that I really wasn't. Ahh...I see. The longer you've been out of the xian world, the easier it will be to stay out of it. Trust me. At this point, if some xian were to invite me to church, my gut reaction would be "What a way to waste a Sunday morning!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Telesmith Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 What amazes me about going to church or being around Christians is how easy it is for me to induce the same kind of feelings I used to associate with the "spirit". Even today while meeting with my schools peace fellowship I decided, just for fun, to go into 'prayer mode". So, odd to know that it's just me and it was just me all along. And, to think, man these folks really think they're feeling God. Ha!!! Amazing what the mind can pull over on itself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedah Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 It is pretty sad looking once you realize that they are only singing praises to their own imaginary idea of what they think God is and not actually singing to one. When I was very young I used to think my lack of belief was because I lacked faith - because I couldn't open myself to God he wouldn't "prove" to me he was real like he had done to my family and everyone else in church. Once I grew up and understood how easy it is for a human mind to fool itself I of course realized that if you believe something is talking to you then you will hear someone talking to you irregardless of whether or not its actually true. They call it faith. Sane people call it insanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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