Apiphany

[Shion]

I was raised in semi-Christian conservative family. They flopped in and out of church often and back and forth on the worship of 'God.' Even as a young child I question the legitimacy of worship and of the Christian God. Everything about it seemed off in its most benign state and in its worse state, evil. In elementary school, I became very interested in Ancient Egypt, and wanted to be an Egyptologist for the longest time. As I read their myths, their beliefs, and about their culture, I saw more compassion, fewer inconsistencies and deeper meaning in their 'barbarian, devil worship,' then in Christianity. Especially since the extended family liked to use Christianity as a means of control over us, and as an excuse to allow criminal acts to remain unpunished.

 

Well, my pagan heart, eventually succumbed to the emotional babble and social pressure to become a Christian, when I got to High School. I think a lot of it had to do with guilt after the death of a family member. At this point, I will admit, I just shut off the brain and drank the kool-aid, because when I did think about it, I became rather angry. Who was this God to condemn my sex for simply being? Why condemn so many people for so little reason? Why did an omnipotent being need worship? If he is loving God, why didn't he protect his 'son?'

 

Finally, my brain emerged from the kool-aid induced hang-over in college when I took a humanities course in east Asian religions. I learned about Buddhism, Daoism, Moaism, ect. While studying Buddhism, I realized it did not matter if their was a god or not. It did not matter if there was a heaven or hell, because I can only control myself. All life includes suffering, but it did not make it all 'sinful' and 'terrible.' A year ago, I left the path of organized religion entirely. The sexism prevalent in Buddhism was the last straw. Thus I came across my favorite saying, ironically on fridge magnet, "Believe nothing, no matter who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense," buddha.

 

Now, I am exploring a pagan path. I feel spiritually connected to nature, and see no reason to ignore this feeling. However, I do not know if their is or is not deity. Once again, I do not care. I will live my life according to my ethics and knowledge.

[Dhampir]

Epiphany, maybe? Anyways, that Buddha statement by itself makes the whole thing infinitely more palatable than pretty much any organized religion, though I personally dislike certain of Buddhism's teachings. If one of our resident Buddhists, Jun, ever shows up here again, he might explain to you the differences between religious Buddhism, and Zen, because apparently there are differences

[Shion]

woops, typo

 

There are difference between religious Buddhism and the actual practice. Zen has stripped a lot of the religious glop from it. I like their emphasis on simplicity. On the other hand, I do not think life is so shitty that we need to spend most of our lives in meditation to become 'enlightened.'

[par4dcourse]

Welcome to the boards shion. Buddhism is certainly more palatable than xtianity. I think it may be a phase for some. I went through a Zen phase before I finally dropped the whole shebang. I wish you the best on your search.

Dhamphir, I wonder what happened to Jun. Miss his insights.