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Goodbye Jesus

Amazing Grace


par4dcourse

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I've heard it a million times and so have you. After American Idol's decidedly xtian theme for the last two weeks, the song has been running through my head. My fourth wife had a classically trained voice and could wail hell out of it. I'm going to apply my expertise as a musician and songwriter, and my atheistic cynicism to it's words. Here we go:

 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,

No problem so far. There's this grace stuff that's amazing, and it's a sound.

 

that saved a wretch like me.

Whoa! The author has been saved from something, apparently by the aforementioned sound, but what's this "wretch" stuff? An ex-wife or two might call me some vile names, but to assume wretchedness is pretty self-depricating on the author's part.

 

I once was lost, but now I'm found.

No problem here again. Wandering around in the woods or something, then somebody found thine ass.

 

Was blind but now I see.

Getting a little far fetched again. Lasik surgery, or a metaphorical eye-opening? Either way, rather grand claims. If you're xtian, it's rather limited sight anyway.

 

Now for the second verse.

 

When we've been there 10,000 years,

Just got weird on me. The author is assuming we're going somewhere, and we're going to be there a looooong time.

 

Bright shining as the sun.

Where ever the author assumes we're going, we're going to "shine". I've never seen anything bright as the sun that wasn't on fire or worse. Are we to assume we're going somewhere to be burned, or just spot-lighted relentlessly?

 

We've no less days to sing gawd's praise than when we first begun.

Seeing a problem here. First few days and weeks, ok. A year or two, and this is going to get old. After a century or two even the hard core xtians are going to lose a little verve. "Hey, gawd, can we cut back on the praise singing to a day or two a week? Maybe Sundays like it used to be. And a bowling alley would be nice. Would a pot luck supper once in a while kill ya?"

 

So in conclusion: I've seen people brought to tears by this song, but all it seems to say is that xtians are doomed to sing praise to gawd for eons under harsh lighting conditions, if and only if they hear this amazing sound.

 

Your actual mileage may vary. Peace. --Larry

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just spot-lighted relentlessly?

 

LOL that's a pretty funny line right chair naw.

 

Other day in lowes I heard that "I can only imagine" song, they were playing it so load I thought I was going to blow chunks...

 

But it struck me... How odd, the song is actually correct! The singer sings, blah blah jeebus blah blah, then the main line of the song "I can ONLY imagine..."

 

Yup, that's correct, you can ONLY imagine, it sure the fuck ain't gonna happen.

 

The author is basically saying point blank, it's all in his head...

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Oh I dunno, it's not too bad if played by a good pipe band (without the words sung to it), as a Recessional, which is the type of hymn it is. However the band has to be spot on. I once had a recording of it played by the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards I think it was, and it was perfect. I heard another recording, same band, and it was fucken 'orrible! They must have been at the jungle juice the night before. I doubt they could've kept the step, let alone the bloody tune.

Casey

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just spot-lighted relentlessly?

 

LOL that's a pretty funny line right chair naw.

 

Other day in lowes I heard that "I can only imagine" song, they were playing it so load I thought I was going to blow chunks...

 

But it struck me... How odd, the song is actually correct! The singer sings, blah blah jeebus blah blah, then the main line of the song "I can ONLY imagine..."

 

Yup, that's correct, you can ONLY imagine, it sure the fuck ain't gonna happen.

 

The author is basically saying point blank, it's all in his head...

I never thought of it that way before! :eek: I hear that song a LOT too... aaarrrggghhhh!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Zenobia

I think it's the music itself, and not the words, that bring people to tears. It's a beautifully composed piece of music and when performed by someone with vocal talent and expression, it's really powerful.

 

Try putting the lyrics to the tune of "100 bottles of beer on the wall" and I don't think they'd have quite the same effect on people :)

 

Some of the most beautiful music ever composed was written as praise to "god"... primarily because of the church's power and influence over composers throughout the centuries. Schubert's Ave Maria, for example, is IMHO the finest melody ever written. Bach's version also brings me to tears. It has nothing to do with the lyrics... it's just amazing music and masterfully composed.

 

I love singing all of these pieces... they are challenging and beautiful to listen to, if you can just ignore the words. LOL...

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  • 3 weeks later...

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: Thanks for the great laugh - that was awesome!

 

Here's a quote from a site about the history of the song and its author, John Newton (the Slave Trader):

 

http://www.anointedlinks.com/amazing_grace.html

However, on a homeward voyage, while he was attempting to steer the ship through a violent storm, he experienced what he was to refer to later as his “great deliverance.†He recorded in his journal that when all seemed lost and the ship would surely sink, he exclaimed, “Lord, have mercy upon us.†Later in his cabin he reflected on what he had said and began to believe that God had addressed him through the storm and that grace had begun to work for him.

 

For the rest of his life he observed the anniversary of May 10, 1748 as the day of his conversion, a day of humiliation in which he subjected his will to a higher power. “Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come; ’tis grace has bro’t me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.†He continued in the slave trade for a time after his conversion; however, he saw to it that the slaves under his care were treated humanely.

 

I find it interesting that his life changing conversion came about from a brush with death, and not by a terrible moral struggle over selling human beings into slavery and destroying their lives. At least he tried to treat them humanely - like dogs or exotic parakeets.

 

I will never listen to 'Amazing Shit' the same way again.

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So in conclusion: I've seen people brought to tears by this song, but all it seems to say is that xtians are doomed to sing praise to gawd for eons under harsh lighting conditions, if and only if they hear this amazing sound.

 

OMG Larry, I'm still laughing! What a great mental image. "Harsh lighting conditions"! LOL

 

Sorry Zen, I agree with you about the Ave Marias, but Amazing Grace is a song I have always hated. It always seems to be sung as a durge. I remember as a teenager being so happy when someone pointed out that you could sing the words to the tune of House of the Rising Sun. Not that that is any less of a durge, but hey, at least it was new!

 

For some odd reason, when I was a kid, Amazing Grace on bagpipes was one of the selection in the jukebox in the local village(very, teeny, tiny, itsy, bitsy) bowling alley! Every once in a while someone would play it just to see the reaction of the bowling patrons. Believe me, it was not a favourite.

 

Heather

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As always, glad to be of service. :sing:

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  • Super Moderator

The best performance ever of "Amazing Grace."

 

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The best performance ever of "Amazing Grace."

 

 

LOL yeah I agree I was uhm... moved...

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