Catholic Guilt

[Crazycatlady]

I was raised in a devout Catholic family (Irish heritage -- apparently that makes it worse) and left it a bit more than a year ago (at age 18). I was brought up on guilt. My mother trained me to punish myself for any and every little or big thing I did wrong. I am now 20 and I cannot get rid of my d*** Catholic guilt. I don't know if it has gotten worse since I left or if I just notice it more. No, it's worse because now I'm starting to feel guilty and punishing myself for letting myself feel guilty and punish myself in the first place! It's this horrible vicious cycle.

 

Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you overcome it? I've seen several websites offering support, but they are all Christian and suggest submitting to Yahweh or something like that... I've used my allotted counseling sessions at the university and can't afford private counseling.

 

~Cat Lady

[Astreja]

Well, CCL, I can't speak from a Catholic point of view but can tell you some of the things that work for me.

 

First of all, teach yourself to interrupt the guilt-inducing thoughts. Just say the word "stop" the moment that you recognize the unwanted sensations, or interrupt with a positive sentiment such as "I'm all right. It's okay." The actual words aren't critical. The idea is to break the habitual pattern as soon as it becomes apparent to you. From one incident to another, the elapsed time will vary. Just do it as soon as you realize that it's happening.

 

Secondly, breathing slowly and counting each breath can help you relax and will help alleviate stress. Low-impact aerobic exercise such as a walk or bike ride can be helpful, too.

 

Let us know how it goes!

[gradstu09]

Hi, CCL. Part of what worked for me was to do some research and read what the Church actually had to say about the things I felt guilty for. Realizing logically that the things they said were sins made no sense helped me a great deal to be able to reject the guilty feelings when I experienced them. I also agree with Astreja that mental techniques to stop/control bad feelings can be useful if you apply them as consistently as possible. Something else that has helped me was to deliberately try to be nicer to myself. Like if I found myself avoiding something I wanted to do b/c I felt I didn't 'deserve' it, I would make myself do it anyway and tell myself that I did deserve it.

[florduh]

Hello, Cat Lady.

 

Study the history of that wretched institution, the Catholic church. The more you learn of it's arbitrary decisions, violent past, corrupt leaders, Nazi priests, etc. you will start to overcome their hold on your mind. They are a powerful and evil force and you are a victim.

 

Knowledge is power.

[Legion]

Hey there Cat Lady. Again I welcome you to ex-C. I hope you find friends and healing here.

 

I have said this before in other contexts having to do with politics and religion, but my aim is much broader than that. And I have a very specific suggestion for you. Reduce or eliminate your use of the word “should.†Become aware of how many times you speak this word to others and to yourself. But please don’t take my word for it.

 

Check out this link… http://www.neillneill.com/108/mental-healt...ping-you-stuck/

[gradstu09]

Funny, LR. I got the same advice from my shrink yesterday. You aren't him, are you?

[Legion]

Funny, LR. I got the same advice from my shrink yesterday. You aren't him, are you?

That is funny Gradstu. No I am not him. I actually got that bit of advice from someone who was also a therapist. At first I was very disdainful of it, because this person said "It's the shoulds you should watch out for." And I thought that was hypocritical.

[MesaGman]

The more I learn about the psychosis and fear of Catholics, the more deserving the stereotypical caricatures of them they earn.... such as the crazy nun with the ruler, or the Emperior Palpatine comparisons to him and Benidict 16 th is he called?

[Kei]

I was raised in a devout Catholic family (Irish heritage -- apparently that makes it worse) and left it a bit more than a year ago (at age 18). I was brought up on guilt. My mother trained me to punish myself for any and every little or big thing I did wrong. I am now 20 and I cannot get rid of my d*** Catholic guilt. I don't know if it has gotten worse since I left or if I just notice it more. No, it's worse because now I'm starting to feel guilty and punishing myself for letting myself feel guilty and punish myself in the first place! It's this horrible vicious cycle.

 

Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you overcome it? I've seen several websites offering support, but they are all Christian and suggest submitting to Yahweh or something like that... I've used my allotted counseling sessions at the university and can't afford private counseling.

 

~Cat Lady

 

i left catholicism four years ago before i was forced to confirm. i did feel alot of guilt at first but i just had to tell myself that i was no longer lying to myself, no longer trying to live up to impossible expectations and living my life happily by leaving the church.

 

it was the best decision.

 

even though it hurt my parents, i was being honest.

 

and that's the right thing to do.

 

i think if you keep that mindset you'll get over it soon enough