Vomit Comet Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 An old close friend used to be a neo-druid. He was no fluffy-bunny; he went all out. This guy could effectively lecture in Celtic Studies at Berkeley, let's put it that way. Anyways, he was the neo-chief of a neo-grove a number of years back. One of his biggest pet peeves has always been Celtic kitsch. One time he walked into a health food store and he saw a cheese wheel imported from Ireland. The label was all emblazoned in knotwork and it said "Celtic Cheese." He nearly had an aneurysm. When he told me about that I laughed my ass off, even though he was fuming and didn't see the humor right then. "Celtic Cheese" says it all! Anybody know what I mean? I reckon this is relevant for this sub-forum, as some of you pagan types are likely of a Celtic, likely Gaelic orientation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted May 10, 2008 Share Posted May 10, 2008 Is that like wishing someone a Merry Kitschmass? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 10, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted May 10, 2008 Nobody can cut the cheese like the Irish. I know, but somebody was gonna say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Celtic Cheese? Oh, no... I'm getting images of the Tuatha de Danbo now. (grabs a piece of Gjetost and carves runes on it, Just In Case) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 11, 2008 Author Share Posted May 11, 2008 Celtic Cheese? Oh, no... I'm getting images of the Tuatha de Danbo now. (grabs a piece of Gjetost and carves runes on it, Just In Case) What on earth is a Tuatha de Danbo? My first image was of some kind of Japanese stick weapon that found its way into the hands of the pre-Gaelic hill people of Hibernia. Sort of like how a katana from 200 BC (over a millenium before anything like it would have existed) came to medieval Scotland by way of a (then) several thousand year old Egyptian guy that looked like Sean Connery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 I don't know where to put "Danbo", but the Tuatha de Danaan were (in Irish mythology) the very first, (near-)Divine settlers on the island... ...please don't demand exact definitions from me, the Celts themselves didn't have many Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 The reigning theory I've heard is that when the Gaels came up from Spain to Ireland, they encountered the Tueth d'Dannon. After some conflict and hashing it out, they cut a deal with them and let them have some of the hilly interior. They lived in dugout homes (kind of like hobbit holes) and then they faded into mystery. If I'm not mistaken, the "faerie" legends (magical little people that live underground) is derived from them. I've always been fascinated with the mysteries of Old Europe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 I picked 'Danbo' because it was the cheese name that sounded most like Tuatha de Danaan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 The reigning theory I've heard is that when the Gaels came up from Spain to Ireland, they encountered the Tueth d'Dannon. After some conflict and hashing it out, they cut a deal with them and let them have some of the hilly interior. They lived in dugout homes (kind of like hobbit holes) and then they faded into mystery. If I'm not mistaken, the "faerie" legends (magical little people that live underground) is derived from them. I've always been fascinated with the mysteries of Old Europe. That sounds about right (although I'd have to read the right stuff to be sure). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 I picked 'Danbo' because it was the cheese name that sounded most like Tuatha de Danaan. Damn I should've known Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 Well, I haven't seen too much Norse kitsch. I think we see more Celtic kitsch because so many Americans are of Irish or even partial Irish (like, 1/8) descent, whereas the Norskies are concentrated in the Upper Midwest. About the kitschiest they get is the Minnesota Vikings football team, I guess. And then I guess old cultural kitsch in Germany runs along the lines of Bavarian milkmaids, cute little elves and gnomes, things like that. Also, as far as ancient/medieval stuff goes, I think Celtic stuff is easier to kitschify. For example, when I think of Celtic music, I think of some Lorena McKennit type (not to knock her, per se) at the Renaissance Faire. Whereas when I think of Norse music, I think of fuckin' metal where all the songs are about chopping people's heads off, burning down churches, and fighting trolls with axes and hammers and shit. Well, there's Celtic metal, too, but it typically has female backing vocals and flutes and stuff. I personally think that metal is the most glorious genre of all, but that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 ...when I think of Celtic music, I think of some Lorena McKennit type (not to knock her, per se) at the Renaissance Faire. Whereas when I think of Norse music, I think of fuckin' metal where all the songs are about chopping people's heads off, burning down churches, and fighting trolls with axes and hammers and shit. Manowar anyone? (Although of course they like to mix "Norse" ideas with the dark side of the jebus cult et cetera too much...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sage Nabooru Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 For me it's Mahayana Buddhism/Asian traditional religion which gets the biggest insult from the commercial machine. How many nightclubs can you think of named "Zen" which have bodhisattva statues on the inside, perhaps right on the bar, where they serve the "Karma Kocktail" (a delicious combination of Midori and fruit juices)? Just like all those monks in Japan do it, right? Wait a minute......Monks? I thought Zen was just a cool-sounding name for media storage devices and other electronic equipment. Heck, there's Zen cereal, Zen clothing, Zen makeup...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 13, 2008 Author Share Posted May 13, 2008 For me it's Mahayana Buddhism/Asian traditional religion which gets the biggest insult from the commercial machine. How many nightclubs can you think of named "Zen" which have bodhisattva statues on the inside, perhaps right on the bar, where they serve the "Karma Kocktail" (a delicious combination of Midori and fruit juices)? Just like all those monks in Japan do it, right? Wait a minute......Monks? I thought Zen was just a cool-sounding name for media storage devices and other electronic equipment. Heck, there's Zen cereal, Zen clothing, Zen makeup...... No kidding! There's a shitty mega-club in the Venetian hotel here in Las Vegas called 'Tao.' And the slogan for it is "Spiritual Nightlife." And then their industry night (basically nights were people in the Vegas hospitality industry get in free or cheap) is called "Worship Thursdays", and the slogan for that is "where the Vegas industry prays." "Spiritual nightlife"... gimme a fuckin' break! To paraphrase George Carlin: "you aren't 'spiritual.' That Kanji tattoo of yours actually says 'moo goo gai pan', and the last time you prayed you were waiting for the fucking pregnancy test results!" Hey, we should turn this into a spiritual/cultural kitsch thread, and not just regarding the Celts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 13, 2008 Author Share Posted May 13, 2008 Manowar anyone? "Quit my job this mornin' / said 'forever' / I would hoooold my head up high. 'Cause I / I need METAL in my life / just like an eagle needs to fly!!!" (Although of course they like to mix "Norse" ideas with the dark side of the jebus cult et cetera too much...) Really? I never noticed! Any particular song where that's apparent? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev R Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 there's Zen cereal full of empty calories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 Manowar anyone? "Quit my job this mornin' / said 'forever' / I would hoooold my head up high. 'Cause I / I need METAL in my life / just like an eagle needs to fly!!!" Sons of the gods today we shall die Open Valhalla's door Let the battle begin with swords in the wind Hail Gods of War (Although of course they like to mix "Norse" ideas with the dark side of the jebus cult et cetera too much...) Really? I never noticed! Any particular song where that's apparent? They don't mix it within a single song, sorry if it sounded like they do. I mean the generic choice of song titles et al, like that "The Demon's whip" for example. Still kind of fun to hear, but... And they do have some... unconventional... ideas about Asatru (Norse) mythology too. I find the thought appealing but to claim that the Valkyries bring the chosen slain to Valhalla on the back of none other than Sleipnir himself is a bit... Oh, while we are at it, you might want to check out these folks too if you don't yet know them... the image says it all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 "Northern Rage"? They're playing my song! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 That entire CD is a long and wonderful homage to the horror the morontheists felt when, seemingly out of the clear blue sky, "we" appeared on the horizon... to start burning down their temples Dark, black as the nighteThe enemies'fighte Strong warriors with a chest full of pride Wrathe to be revealed in the foremost rank Clad like bears they're marching And they're resolute to fighte Invulnerable to fire and iron No sworde can bite me when I'm in battlerage Óðinn's Warriors Fearless and proud we shalle strike Óðinn's Warriors In victory we returne from the fighte (Beginning of "Odin's warriors") It's still a bit much of the hollywood-like cliches, and centered on the fight-and-die stuff as if there had been nothing else for the ancestors... but still, cool stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts