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Goodbye Jesus

I Have A History Of Asking Questions


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I suppose I first questioned religion at that age when you realize that Santa isn't real. Every kid has to wonder, if they were lied to about this, what else are they being lied to about? I remember asking my mom once if god was real. I don't remember exactly what she said, but I'm sure it was reassuring, and yet the questions didn't stop. I looked at those Bible stories I had been taught as a kid, like Noah's Ark, and I wondered how I could rationalize such absurdities with what I knew about the world. I decided that the Bible didn't need to be 100% literally true for me to believe it. The important stuff was still there.


I went to a Catholic high school, but that didn't help with my questions. They taught us evolution and plenty of scientific things that challenged my faith. Even in religion class they pointed out several errors and contradictions in the Bible. So often I found that I could no longer believe a story that I once thought was true, and this went on until I couldn't take it any more. If there was so much fiction in this book, how could I take any of it seriously? And how was anybody supposed to tell the difference? At one time people did believe every word of it. How did I know that people in the future wouldn't believe something different?


By my senior year of high school I was having serious problems. I tried to develop a stronger faith, to shut out the doubt, but nothing worked. When I finally got away from home and into college, I made a desperate decision. I started to read all kinds of criticisms and arguments against Christianity, which I had been previously avoiding. I told myself that if my faith had any truth to it, I would be fine, and if not, well, I needed to be certain one way or another. In one afternoon I lost what was left of my Christian beliefs and settled on Deism. For the first time I felt like I had a rational, stable, comfortable position. Over the next several months I drifted away from deism toward atheism, though I prefer to call myself a freethinker or a skeptic rather than be defined by what I don't believe in.


Anyway, I've been an ex-christian for about 8 months now. I'm always open-minded of course, and I'm still asking questions, though I'm no longer accepting made-up or easy answers, and most importantly I'm willing to accept no answer at all. There are some things we just don't know.... yet.

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most importantly I'm willing to accept no answer at all. There are some things we just don't know.... yet.


That about sums it up for me, too. Welcome to the forums

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That was precicely what did it for me. Too many unanswered questions!

Unfortunately, I went far too long without looking for the answers. The inner confrontations always stopped me short of actually doing it.

I just look at all that time as spilled milk. Today is a new day.


Trying to be a better believer is the Pavlovian response. How many times have I heard the words, "Your faith isn't strong enough." ringing in my ears? Ugh!


It's nice waking up in my own head. Thinking my thoughts.

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