lost in space Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 When I first realized that I truly did not believe in god anymore I was really strung out since my whole life had been centered around Christianity (Christian school, Christian college, total involvement in Christian community, married a pastor). I did lots of reading on the internet about leaving Christianity to try to steady myself. One piece of advice I read in several places was to wait a full year before getting involved in any other sort of spiritual or religious endeavour. It was good advice. I didn't take it. It was so wonderful to be free to read and consider anything without worrying about whether it was consistent with my Christian beliefs, that I dove into philosophy and other spiritual texts. I started practising meditation as a way to calm my mind since my non-belief (along with other marital stresses) has totally destabilized my marriage, my choices about education for my children, and essentially the whole way I live my life in my community. I ran into an old friend from law school, completely out of the blue, who convinced me to attend a meditation weekend with her. She had been once before on invitation by another friend. The serendipity of the meeting, and the fact that she is a totally grounded lawyer, convinced me to fork over the $$ and sign up. I did some research on the teacher and the group and it seemed fairly typical Buddhist teaching. I shouldn't have gone. I am sure that if there is such a thing as negative aura, I was a real detriment to the atmosphere last weekend at the retreat. Some of the teaching was in line with what I had read, and while I don't believe it all, I think the Buddhist approach has a lot of benefits for the everyday living of one's life. But the teacher got all into the path for "this lineage" and how we are spiritual materialists if we just take the advantages of meditation, and we have to let go of the ego and follow the path, and the path involves retreats to Colorado (costing just $1000 for the first one) to receive teaching from HIM, and then another retreat, and then another retreat, and then another retreat.... He slammed people who seek to be selfless by helping others as boosting their ego by creating an identity out of charitable acts. His basic point was that the highest goal for all of us would be to learn the most we could from him to spread (his particular) dharma to the most people possible. Hello self-serving proselytism! I got pretty steamed. I realized then that, whether there is any basis in it or not, I am not ready to receive any kind of religious instruction from any person whatsoever. At the same time I felt such a huge sense of let-down and alienation...I guess I really wanted to find some support in a community. Anyway, just thought I would share my experience with others out there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astreja Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 That's nasty... The teacher sounds like he's running a cult. And... "spiritual materialists"? From someone who's charging a thousand bucks for a retreat, no less... As for finding the right teacher, sometimes the right teacher is oneself. Group practice or a master/student relationship is definitely not for everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost in space Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 Thanks, Astreja. I agree that the best teacher might be oneself, but it is lonely working it out on your own. I guess that is why I found my way back here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 *Hugs* I definitely agree with that advice. Wait at least a year before jumping into anything. You also don't need to spend that much money, there are plenty of books on Buddhism one can get for much less than $1000. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Even though, it wasn't Christian, that teacher has the same self serving agenda and thirst for power of the leaders Fundamentalist Christianity down pat. I don't blame you for being pissed. That doesn't mean you need to give up on seeking any spiritual endeavor. Life is but a process of learning and growth. When I first deconverted from Christianity, I did the same thing. Although, I don't subscribe to them any longer, they were what I needed at the time. It's difficult for many of us to give up on the spiritual cold turkey, we have to wean ourselves off of it with other forms. Kind of like a heroine addict going to methadone. Cold turkey works for some, but not for others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost in space Posted August 28, 2008 Author Share Posted August 28, 2008 Thanks, Amethyst...you are right and I am definitely enjoying the reading (and books from the library cost nothing!) Taphophilia...well put! Buddhism is my methadone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazycatlady Posted September 22, 2008 Share Posted September 22, 2008 Wait one year. What good advice. I wish I'd heard it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadouKen24 Posted September 24, 2008 Share Posted September 24, 2008 Waiting a year is definitely good advice. At least a year. It was two and a half or three years before I finally felt comfortable seeking anything like a spiritual identity. Until that time, I more or less did my own thing without worrying about labels. As it happened, I never had to worry about labels. At the end of that time, I found that I just naturally fit under the broad rubric of "paganism." A bit of research revealed that there weren't any particular pagan traditions which I could comfortably join, but that that's okay in paganism. In any case, never trust expensive "spiritual retreats" or "meditation weekends" put on by gurus, spiritual experts, or other such individuals. These people prey on "seekers" and others unhappy with their current spiritual state in order to boost their own egos and suck people dry of their savings. You won't find a spiritual community that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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