Mea Culpa

[Checkmate]

I've been toying around with this idea, but I haven't found the guts to do it. Besides which I'm not sure the idea has any merit.

 

The idea is this: Find/contact the people from my past who I offended and judged due to my former Xian beliefs and apologize to them.

 

I made a real ASS of myself when I was a Fundie, and now I find myself on the same side of the fence as those whom I judged.

 

I can't escape this feeling of guilt, and I WANT to apologize. But I'm really not sure if any GOOD can come of this. So I've been letting the idea stew while I debate with myself.

 

Then the idea hit me: Why not ask YOU GUYS what you think?!?

 

So, what do you think? Should I do it? Has anyone ever done this? If you have, what was the outcome?

[Bongo]

i havent' done it, because I"m still in the closet.

 

But if i were YOU, I wouldnt do it unless you still have contact with the people. In that case, I'd do it.

 

However, If you seek to find someone you made a fool of yourself with 20years ago, and you actually manage to contact them, you'll probably look like a fool all over again. Now they'll think you're a stalker. I dont think you can possibly win a situation like this.

[Checkmate]

i havent' done it, because I"m still in the closet.

 

But if i were YOU, I wouldnt do it unless you still have contact with the people. In that case, I'd do it.

 

However, If you seek to find someone you made a fool of yourself with 20years ago, and you actually manage to contact them, you'll probably look like a fool all over again. Now they'll think you're a stalker. I dont think you can possibly win a situation like this.

 

Exactly. That's one of the reasons I've not done it. I keep thinking, "Leave it alone. You'll just look crazed."

 

But then a few days later, I feel like explaining myself because I don't want anyone's LAST memory of me being a "Fundie Xian"! Bleech!

[highvoltage]

I've apologized for being an annoying fundie to a couple of people. I have no doubt irritated many people with my beliefs in the past, far more than I can count or go back through my address books and identify. However, I have talked to a couple of people that I am still in contact with (still friends with).

 

Basically, I just pulled them aside and told them that I respect their views and I am sorry for trying to impose my views on them. I said that I feel I have wronged them in the past and I apologize.

 

I've not had a problem with my apologies being ill recieved, and then I feel a lot better for having faced my past mistakes and dealt with them. But only with people I still know. As far as all of the others go, I just try to take solace in the thought that I no longer think in such a constrained fundamental fashion and will never again treat people so poorly.

 

Edit: The couple of people I've told reacted positively and appreciated that I made the effort to tell them how I feel.

 

Hope this helps.

[Thurisaz]

While I have no reason to apologize to anyone because of having been a christian (never was a fundie you know), I think that you should consider saying sorry to people still have contact to you, or if you feel like you should. If you hurt people you no longer care about and who you don't meet anymore, I think the value of apologizing is questionable.

Though I, personally, might consider doing it anyway because I'd probably feel honorless if I don't.

[Checkmate]

Thanks people! I knew I could count on you guys for support.

 

I think I'll simply leave it alone, regarding those whom I don't see any longer, nor care two hoots about anyway. (Why ASK for trouble?)

 

And IF I encounter anyone (old friendlier types or even enemies), should the subject come up, then I'll "eat some crow".

 

Otherwise, I'll just concentrate on being the better "me" that I can be.

 

Peace!