Hello

[Kuroikaze]

Well, I've posted a bit here a while back but never really introuduced myself so here goes.

 

I'm 27, I became a Christian at 17 and when i went to college 2 years later i got involved in a Christian Campus Ministry called Student Mobilization, www.stumo.org if anyone is interisted in looking up info on it. As you can probably guess from the name they tended to focus very heavly on missions and evangilizim.

 

Anyway i was involved with the ministry for most of the 5 years (yes it took me 5 years to graduate) i was in college. I was a religion major as well, though my colleges religion department was very liberal. One of my professers calls himself a Buddhist Christian

Well as you can probably guess I gave my profs a lot of headaches by saying stupid stuff all the time, like "there are no errors in the bible" for instance. I also generally made an ass of myself with the other students as well, and hurt many good people by saying stupid things, particulary against homosexuals, since my college, Hendrix, had a fairly large gay population.

 

So I'd been a good little christian spouting hate speach and going around evangilizing, going to church 3 times a week, bible studies, pray meetings and every meeting my campus ministry had, and on top of that being a religion major. I pretty much breathed and ate religion. I read and studied the bible and apologetics insesently. The school i went to was very intelectual so even the christians here actually valued education believe it or not. I was actually planing on going into campus ministry when i graduated, but all was not as well as i thought.

 

I never really fit in with the christians on my campus, for instance I love video games and Anime, which tended to be frowned upon as "wastes of time" by most others, or at least just silly hobbies. I, of course, would have never dated a non-christian girl cause that was just wrong But i could never really get any of the girls in the ministry interisted in me either. I still remember asking a girl out my 4th year of college, we went out once and then she didn't talk to me for 2 days, then she talked to me and said "I prayed about it and i just don't think God is leading me to date you"

 

Finally my last year when I started talking to some of the ministry leaders about getting references to get into a ministry, they sat me down and told me that they didn't think I was cut out for being in a full time ministry, and therefor they coudn't give me a reference. I was crushed I had wrapped my entire life around thier ministry and now i was being told by the few people i had counted on to help me get a job when i got out of school thought i wasn't good enough. My grades weren't so hot, since it was a very hard school and i hadn't spent enough time on school work with the time i devoted to the campus ministry.

 

Eventually I dropped out of going to chuch or doing any religious bassed things durrning my last term at school. I had nothing to do when i graduated so i moved back with my parents. My first year out of collge was hell. I had started doubting my faith but still belived enough to think that the doubts i was having were wrong, even my parents, who are fundies, could see how depresed i was. I hated myself, believing that I had messed up somehow, Obviously if those leaders thought i wasn't good enough, they saw something i didn't see. I thought I was worthless.

 

Then one day I relized that i didn't have to continue being a christian. It hit me like a ton of bricks, I started laughing at the absurdity of it all. I had spent the last year wallowing in guilt and shame bassed on what other people believed about me. I could just walk away. Out side of Christian judgementalism what they thought about me had no value whatsoever. I could suddenly be myself, and there was no condemnation for it. It was the most freeing experience of my life.

 

Its taken me the last 2 years or so to learn more and come to terms with my beliefs. I even spent some time in counsuling. but in the end I've become a much happier person. I still deal with a lot of problems, such as never having a long term releationship with a woman. Thats one of the hardest things for me right now, because i would love to have that, but i have so little experince with even asking someone on a date in a normal way, that doesn't involve saying something cheesy like "I feel like God is leading me to ask you out"

 

I also study a lot of anti-apologetics now. Being a religion major in collge I am very knowladgeble of Chrisianity as well as other relgions. I actually have fun with christians now and then, like the ones that tried to evangeize me while I was working the other day. Its funny because I have yet to meet a christian who knows as much about thier own religion as i do. There aren't many Intellectuals in Fort Smith Arkansas.

 

Anyway, thanks for reading

[Mythra]

Then one day I relized that i didn't have to continue being a christian.  It hit me like a ton of bricks,  I started laughing at the absurdity of it all.  I had spent the last year wallowing in guilt and shame bassed on what other people believed about me.  I could just walk away.  Out side of Christian judgementalism what they thought about me had no value whatsoever.  I could suddenly be myself, and there was no condemnation for it.  It was the most freeing experience of my life.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Yeah!

 

Another escapee! Welcome kuoroikaze. Quite an epiphany, huh? I had the same thing as my religion was in it's death throes. I read somewhere - "if your God isn't working out for you, then FIRE him". I though WHOA - now there's a concept! Then I proceeded to do just that.

 

Glad to meet ya.

[Loren]

Welcome, Kuriokaze!

Your story is familiar, from the fudyspeak jargon like, "The Lord isn't leading me to date you right now," to the ministry using you to do all the work you did until it was time for them to do right by you and instead letting you down.

 

Again, welcome.

 

Loren

[I Broke Free]

Then one day I relized that i didn't have to continue being a christian.  It hit me like a ton of bricks,  I started laughing at the absurdity of it all.  I had spent the last year wallowing in guilt and shame bassed on what other people believed about me.  I could just walk away.  Out side of Christian judgementalism what they thought about me had no value whatsoever.  I could suddenly be myself, and there was no condemnation for it.  It was the most freeing experience of my life.

 

 

We shared the same experience! Just like you, my transformation was not a long drawn out process, but just an immediate recongnition.

 

Welcome to the fourm.

 

IBF

[Amethyst]

Welcome!

 

I also like video games, though I'm not really into anime. I am a sci-fi geek, though.

 

[GiantBear]

Kuroikaze,

 

 

Thanks for sharing your testimony. I can relate to saying ignorant Christian things in the middle of class. Did that several times at Community College. The joys!!!!!

 

Peace,

GiantBear

[Kuroikaze]

Kuroikaze,

Thanks for sharing your testimony. I can relate to saying ignorant Christian things in the middle of class. Did that several times at Community College. The joys!!!!!

 

Peace,

GiantBear

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Lol, yeah i still remember my freshman year pissing off a biology major in one of my classes, because i said, that the flood could have caused all those bones to become fosilized.

 

Or in my class on the new testament where I tried to argue that there were no errors in the gosples...wow was i ever ignorant

[nightflight]

Then one day I relized that i didn't have to continue being a christian.  It hit me like a ton of bricks,  I started laughing at the absurdity of it all.  I had spent the last year wallowing in guilt and shame bassed on what other people believed about me.  I could just walk away.  Out side of Christian judgementalism what they thought about me had no value whatsoever.  I could suddenly be myself, and there was no condemnation for it.  It was the most freeing experience of my life.

 

Wow, that was beautiful.