Tabula Rasa Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 A lot of us have dealt with people who'll supposedly goodnaturedly mess with us. I seem to have a problem dealing with it, as I sometimes take it too seriously. I remember when I worked in grocery,some of the guys would tease me by saying they wanted to screw my mom, or say I was gay(no offense Neon, I broke free, et), or they said I was a child molester or something else even worse. I'm trying to come to accept that no matter where I work, some of my coworkers are going to fuck with me in varying degrees, and while I shouldn't let it bother me, sometimes it does.(Case in point, tonight the asst manager after close jumped out and startled me. He's not a bad guy, but he seems to have a poor sense of humor.) I know in most cases I could complain to management and get something done, but I'll eventually have to build up a thick skin for when management is no help. So since the world's run by assholes and those who are without meaning to be, and I know I'm going to have to deal with shit like this for the rest of my life in one form or another, does anyone have any suggestions for building up resistance to being fucked with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 A lot of us have dealt with people who'll supposedly goodnaturedly mess with us. I seem to have a problem dealing with it, as I sometimes take it too seriously. I remember when I worked in grocery,some of the guys would tease me by saying they wanted to screw my mom, or say I was gay(no offense Neon, I broke free, et), or they said I was a child molester or something else even worse. I'm trying to come to accept that no matter where I work, some of my coworkers are going to fuck with me in varying degrees, and while I shouldn't let it bother me, sometimes it does.(Case in point, tonight the asst manager after close jumped out and startled me. He's not a bad guy, but he seems to have a poor sense of humor.) I know in most cases I could complain to management and get something done, but I'll eventually have to build up a thick skin for when management is no help. So since the world's run by assholes and those who are without meaning to be, and I know I'm going to have to deal with shit like this for the rest of my life in one form or another, does anyone have any suggestions for building up resistance to being fucked with? Just start fucking back. If someone says they want to screw your mom, tell em "that's fine, but you'll be getting sloppy seconds because I fucked her already". If someone says that your gay just tell em "sorry, but your fantasy isn't going to come true so find someone else to give it to you in the ass." If someone says that you're a child molester just tell em "who wouldn't want to take advantage of that tight ruby starfruit?" you know...one up em by being even worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Or you could just ask em to stop that stupid high school shit and stop being a retard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I'm with Asimov. When I used to have to deal with this at places I worked, I would usually just roll my eyes and tell them to "grow the fuck up." If you play the game with them they will think you enjoy that kind of shit, if you get pissed off or take it seriously the "bully" in them may come out and they will keep doing it just to get a rise out of you. Tell them to lay off, but do it in a way that makes it look like you find their behavior moronic and infantile, not insulting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I think we've all dealt with this at one time or another. The kind of pricks who try to get away with being an asshole by doing it with a smile and a joke. Its not good natured in any way and letting them get away with it will only encourage them. I wouldn't bring it up with management, that usually just makes things worse, and I wouldn't fire back with the same kind of "joke". Take the high road, but in a threatening sort of way, tell them to fuck off and cut the immature stuff. Chances are that'll defuse them, if they keep pressing though don't be afraid to threaten a little. Life's to short to let those sorts detract from it. I sympathize with you Tab, hope things shape up and don't let any of the things they say get to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Roll your eyes, twist your mouth into a daft smirk, and stick up your middle finger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabula Rasa Posted November 17, 2008 Author Share Posted November 17, 2008 I think we've all dealt with this at one time or another. The kind of pricks who try to get away with being an asshole by doing it with a smile and a joke. Its not good natured in any way and letting them get away with it will only encourage them. I wouldn't bring it up with management, that usually just makes things worse, and I wouldn't fire back with the same kind of "joke". Take the high road, but in a threatening sort of way, tell them to fuck off and cut the immature stuff. Chances are that'll defuse them, if they keep pressing though don't be afraid to threaten a little. Life's to short to let those sorts detract from it. I sympathize with you Tab, hope things shape up and don't let any of the things they say get to you. Thanks for your replies, Asimov, Kuroikaze, Doctor and Vomit Comet! Where I work now isn't too bad(It was back in my grocery store days that were the worst). Most of the people I work with are cool, I guess tonight just rubbed me wrong. Besides, just fucking with them back, or just telling them to quit acting childish, does anyone have suggestions on developing a thick skin so I don't even pay this kind of thing any mind? It kind of bugs me that I let silly shit like being teased bother me so much. Thanks, Tab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysealclubber Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I wish I could offer you advice on how to develop thicker skin, but in my experience, it takes exposure and time. Stuff like that used to really get to me. After enough of it, you just stop giving a flying fuck. The sooner you can fire off a humorous retort without getting upset, the better. It's usually just a game that's meant to socialize you into their group, so it's nothing to get down about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vigile Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I'm not sure why you should develop a thicker skin here. These types of jokes are not funny and completely childish. I love a good joke but this kind of humor is just stupid, why should you be forced to play along with it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris B Chikin Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 If someone says they want to screw your mom, tell em "that's fine, but you'll be getting sloppy seconds because I fucked her already".If someone says that your gay just tell em "sorry, but your fantasy isn't going to come true so find someone else to give it to you in the ass." If someone says that you're a child molester just tell em "who wouldn't want to take advantage of that tight ruby starfruit?" you know...one up em by being even worse. My favourite reply to "You're gay!" was "Damn right, and if you've got a problem with it then I'll fuck you right up the ass,". The result was they were too busy trying to figure out if I was joking to think up a witty retort. I know it sounds harsh, and this won't seem very supportive, but in some ways a bit of bullying can make us stronger people. I know that it happens that t gets out of hand - I don't condone violent bullying or bullying that drives a person to depression or suicide, but jokes and jibes help us develop a thicker skin. I look back on myself during primary school when I felt like I was being bullied the most and I realise I was actually being a bit of a wimp about it. If you can't take it then it becomes malicious and they'll do it just to get a reaction out of you. In secondary school I got into the habit of giving as good as I got, and the situation improved massively. You only need to one-up a guy once in front of their friends and they'll develop a respect for you. Yeah, there might still be the jokes, but as long as you can laugh along with them the attitude behind them will become lighthearted and instead of bullying it'll just be banter. Maye it's just my generation, but I just think of pisstaking as a rite of passage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Thanks for your replies, Asimov, Kuroikaze, Doctor and Vomit Comet! Where I work now isn't too bad(It was back in my grocery store days that were the worst). Most of the people I work with are cool, I guess tonight just rubbed me wrong. Besides, just fucking with them back, or just telling them to quit acting childish, does anyone have suggestions on developing a thick skin so I don't even pay this kind of thing any mind? It kind of bugs me that I let silly shit like being teased bother me so much. Thanks, Tab Exposure, like someone else said. Although it eventually begins to wear you down if you don't do it slowly. It's all about perspective, too. I disagree with the majority of the people here that razzing is only an assholeish thing to do. I have great friends that I love very much and we razz each other all the time. It really is all in good fun and I think if you misunderstand that or misconstrue their intentions you might find that they're just trying to bond with you. It's a little odd, sure, but it isn't any weirder than other bonding rituals that have come up in human history. You can tell that some people are genuinely trying to hurt your feelings and that ain't cool but for the most part they're trying to make you "one of the guys". I would say that the more overtly someone insults you, the more they like you...as a general rule! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 My favourite reply to "You're gay!" was "Damn right, and if you've got a problem with it then I'll fuck you right up the ass,". The result was they were too busy trying to figure out if I was joking to think up a witty retort. Shut your mouth or I'll fuck it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Although it eventually begins to wear you down if you don't do it slowly. It's all about perspective, too. I disagree with the majority of the people here that razzing is only an assholeish thing to do. I have great friends that I love very much and we razz each other all the time. It really is all in good fun and I think if you misunderstand that or misconstrue their intentions you might find that they're just trying to bond with you. When its between friends its nothing because there is a level of trust enough so that you can say things in jest without worrying about it being take seriously, but from strangers and coworkers? Considering what they said it didn't sound like the good natured fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Genesis Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 If they say you're gay, maybe ask them how do they know so much about how somebody is gay before they tell them unless they're gay themselves? And what's with bullies telling other people they fucked their mom? I remember the bullies in high school used to always say that and I never understood why. Is this like some trend or something? If you're going to insult me, at least use insults that make logical sense. Also, one of my favorite comebacks when they randomly tell me "fuck you" for no reason is to ask them, "Is that an invitation for sex?" Anyway, I'm not sure how much helpful my advice would be as I went through the same crap when I was in high school. Telling the teachers did nothing to stop them, but I don't know if it would be any different in the workforce, like if they would take your complaints more seriously or not. One-uping them with comebacks was amusing at first, but eventually it just got tiresome as they still wouldn't quit anyway. The only thing I would suggest doing is just try to ignore them unless they start doing something more dangerous than just insults, in which case then it would probably be a good idea to report to management. Just remember the saying to never argue with idiots; they'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. The only other thing I can think of to help develop a thicker skin is to just remind yourself that at least you don't have the mentality of an immature high school bully and that their existence is beneath you to acknowledge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysealclubber Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 When its between friends its nothing because there is a level of trust enough so that you can say things in jest without worrying about it being take seriously, but from strangers and coworkers? Considering what they said it didn't sound like the good natured fun. Haha, well, it depends on the work environment. I don't know what it's like in Tab's workplace, but it's been my experience that everybody harasses everyone else, usually in the most offensive way possible. But I've only worked in all-male environments, and the majority of my co-workers were from a pretty low socio-economic class, so maybe that's not normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 My personal favorite (though by no means correct way) was to turn it back on them with either the "Homofaluge" statement (It's Okay, we get it. We accept both you and your latent homosexual tendencies), or utterly baffling them with some serious BS, usually to the end of making them feel stupid. As for the child molester comment, you may want to let the guy know that Chris Hansen has been looking for him... The more correct (i.e. mature) way to deal with this depends on your workplace, as what is happening is harassment, and can possibly be construed as sexual harassment. It also depends on if this is a problem (given that you're soliciting advice in this regard, it seems to be a possibility). Just don't threaten to go to your superiors with a complaint about the guy, if you do so, but just do it should things escalate to that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimov Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Although it eventually begins to wear you down if you don't do it slowly. It's all about perspective, too. I disagree with the majority of the people here that razzing is only an assholeish thing to do. I have great friends that I love very much and we razz each other all the time. It really is all in good fun and I think if you misunderstand that or misconstrue their intentions you might find that they're just trying to bond with you. When its between friends its nothing because there is a level of trust enough so that you can say things in jest without worrying about it being take seriously, but from strangers and coworkers? Considering what they said it didn't sound like the good natured fun. Considering what me and my friends say, we'd probably be arrested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Hit some Carlin and learn how to have a great vocabulary of insults that most go "HUH!!?" over... Old Man of Comedy and Commentary has a way with wording things that make the recipient have to mull and think. kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazycatlady Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 I'm not sure I can give you any advice on that matter. When I was about seven, my mom decided that I needed to toughen up and was all kinds of rude and hurtfulness to me growing up. It mostly worked -- I can handle anything from anyone...except her. Can't say I recommend that method. My response to people like this is too make it clear that I will not stand for this immaturity (most often by refusing to acknowledge the speaker). Also, if you pretend that something doesn't bother you, it sometimes does, in fact, become less likely to bother you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 My favourite reply to "You're gay!" was "Damn right, and if you've got a problem with it then I'll fuck you right up the ass,". The result was they were too busy trying to figure out if I was joking to think up a witty retort. Shut your mouth or I'll fuck it! Shut your cock holster! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWIM Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I agree with the snappy comeback advice, but it works better if you can outdo the other. Skip suggested carlin, hes a good source, doug stanhope is another good one for comeback material. And remember, you can insult anyone anytime and get away with it by simply adding "no offense" at the end of it... Your breath smells like cock, and you have a look about you like you have a venereal disease or something, no offense... Just remember to add no offense at the end.. hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabula Rasa Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 Thanks for all the replies and suggestions everyone. I'm just glad to know I'm not being a wuss by being annoyed by childish shit that some people say. Usually at my current job, I don't have to worry about the really bad jibes like when I used to work in a grocery store, but every once in a great while, I do hear some stupid shit. Thanks again for listening, Tab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brought None Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 A good comeback about the "I Fucked your Mom" is stare blankly back at them and say "My mothers dead." Watch how fast their expresions change. Boy that worked well when I was in college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris B Chikin Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 A good comeback about the "I Fucked your Mom" is stare blankly back at them and say "My mothers dead." Watch how fast their expresions change. Boy that worked well when I was in college. It was a good one, but people in my school over-used it and it quickly lost effect once you knew you were bullshitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 A good comeback about the "I Fucked your Mom" is stare blankly back at them and say "My mothers dead." Yeah. She was when I was through with her. Then I gave her back to your dad for sloppy seconds. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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