Ms. K Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 I finally admitted to my husband, and my parents, that I can no longer stand to be a Christian. Especially since I'd be faking it. I explained to them why I believe what I believe, and WHAT I believe. Fortunately, even though my husband was raised by fundie Xian parents, he's not particularly fundie himself, and he's not particularly religious one way or another. My parents are pretty cool about it. They just didn't want me to join up with some cult, and to know exactly what decisions I was making. Hey, they taught me to think for myself, so they're not suprised at all. We have NOT, however, told my in-laws. And may never tell them. I can be respectful of someone else's beliefs....until such time as they try shoving them down my throat. And my in-laws are very good at shoving their beliefs down someone else's throat. I would be willing to bet, with my lack of enthusiasm or tolerance for bullshit, that the first time my in-laws start some stupid argument about why I should convert and be a GOOD Xian (the last they knew I was still a Catholic, like I'd been raised to be, and that wasn't REALLY Xian enough for them, they've been on a tear to convert me since Mr. K and I got married nearly seven years ago), I will out myself. I try to keep my mouth shut around Mr. K's parents simply for his sake. They are his parents, and he has to deal with them, I don't. But, he knows good and well that I will defend myself if I need to do so. So, is this just me making baby steps, or being a big chicken? Should I be willing to be upfront about my apostacy with my in-laws, or should I just shut my mouth so that the two-three times a year we see them (and they only live fifteen miles from us, but that's a topic for another day), things are as peaceful as they can get, considering the crowd? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatifidontwantausername? Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 I personaly don't think there is anything cowardly about your actions. You assessed the situation and acted accordingly. I would talk to your husband about whether or not it is okay for you to blow up on his parents though. This could cause some friction between him and his parents, more than is already there from the sound of it. Good job on comming out. *I'm comming out plays in the background* -Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofspong Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 You're a coward dammit!!!! COOOOWWWWAAAARRRDDDD!!!! (just kidding) There should be little reason to reveal your stance on christianity to your husbands in-laws; just because someone likes to shove their faith down your throat, dosen't mean you should. Yes, it can be annoying as hell, particularly if they happen to mention god in ever other sentance. However, your belief is none of their goddamn buisiness anyway; you're an adult, and this is a free country, so if they don't like it, tell them to fuck off. (maybe nicely) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 We have NOT, however, told my in-laws. And may never tell them. I can be respectful of someone else's beliefs....until such time as they try shoving them down my throat. And my in-laws are very good at shoving their beliefs down someone else's throat. Sounds like a certain fundy Baptist aunt & uncle of mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. K Posted July 30, 2005 Author Share Posted July 30, 2005 Sounds like a certain fundy Baptist aunt & uncle of mine. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Well, they're not Baptists...they're fundamentalist evangelical non-denominational VINEYARD Xians. They proudly proclaim that they're non-denoms, and I keep pointing out to them that they really are part of a denomination by asserting that they are Vineyard Xians. Oh, and I did talk to my husband about when it would be okay to go off on his parents. I told him that for the most part, I have no problems with keeping my mouth firmly closed so as not to cause strife. However, if they needle me endlessly to get a reaction, well, that was the point where Mr. K jumped in and said, "You have a right to defend yourself at that point, and you also have a right to expect me to defend you as well, since they're MY parents, not yours." Thanks to you all, I don't feel like such a freakin' coward anymore! I'm being intelligent, and CIVIL, even though I don't agree with their cult-like beliefs. I would never ever come straight out and tell them why I think they're wrong and brainwashed, but they'll sure do the same thing to me, and smirk like they won points in a game show or something. Why is it that some people just can't deal with those of us who choose to think for ourselves, and not drink the Kool-Aid, that they simply MUST be as nasty as possible? Do they really think it'll win converts that way? I mean, being rude, nasty, and attempting to shame me into thinking your way doesn't exactly work... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatifidontwantausername? Posted July 30, 2005 Share Posted July 30, 2005 Ms. K, you're preaching to the Chior. In my opinion Christians do the above mentioned acts to try and cement their faith and/or prove their superiority. -Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. K Posted July 31, 2005 Author Share Posted July 31, 2005 Ms. K, you're preaching to the Chior. In my opinion Christians do the above mentioned acts to try and cement their faith and/or prove their superiority. -Jake <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I agree with you. Being able to voice this OUT LOUD, even if it IS on a message board, is a BIG step for me. After all, I've been a good little girl most of my life, I'm just NOW starting to really rebel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 I agree with you. Being able to voice this OUT LOUD, even if it IS on a message board, is a BIG step for me. After all, I've been a good little girl most of my life, I'm just NOW starting to really rebel. Heh...agreed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ nivek ♦ Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Ms K., Sun Tsu, "Master Tsu", teachs in warfare that the selection of *what battleground* is as important as the fight itself. If it doen't bother the outlaws to not_know of your unbelief, then don't pick that fight. Life tosses you enough harsh realities in which you have to get it, get dirty, expend favors, freindships, capital, and do things you might not enjoy. Why make your particular private practices bait for a perpetual asskicking? Those in your immediate cirlce of relations now know, and seem not to be causing you distress mental and physical. If telling the the outlaws will cause you distress and hurt, then why pick this place in life to do this fight? Life is long, and crap from relatives always is deep.. don't add to it.. kL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. K Posted August 1, 2005 Author Share Posted August 1, 2005 Ms K., Sun Tsu, "Master Tsu", teachs in warfare that the selection of *what battleground* is as important as the fight itself. If it doen't bother the outlaws to not_know of your unbelief, then don't pick that fight. Life tosses you enough harsh realities in which you have to get it, get dirty, expend favors, freindships, capital, and do things you might not enjoy. Why make your particular private practices bait for a perpetual asskicking? Those in your immediate cirlce of relations now know, and seem not to be causing you distress mental and physical. If telling the the outlaws will cause you distress and hurt, then why pick this place in life to do this fight? Life is long, and crap from relatives always is deep.. don't add to it.. kL <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You are correct. This is NOT the hill I wish to die on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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