Brother Jeff Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 I'm worried about the Lard. I haven't heard from Him for a while. I've tried praying, but it feels like nobody is listening to me. I've tried praising and worshiping Him, but it just feels empty, like I'm wasting my time praising and worshiping a fantasy, or like maybe I've pissed Him off and the Lard is shunning me. I would write Him a letter, but I don't have His mailing address or email address. I don't have His phone number either. I would try to go see the Lard, but I don't know for sure where He lives. I'm really in a spiritual pickle here! Has anyone here heard from the Lard recently? Is He OK? Do you know where He is or how He's doing? Can you find out for me why I haven't heard from Him? Is He pissed off at me? Is He shunning me? I want to make things right with Him if I can. Thanks, Brother Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 *Hugs* Jeff I wouldn't worry too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Like most folks, he fucks off most of Dec, and takes his birthday off. He'll be back in his office early Jan, like everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted December 12, 2008 Super Moderator Share Posted December 12, 2008 The Lard retired in November. Obama is filling the job now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Actually...I think I saw Lard goofing around on Second Life the other day. His avatar was running around with teeny head and gargantuan body. He was wearing a great big blingy chain with a siezure inducing bling "L" on it, and nothing else. I think he was shopping for a cock to wear. So yeah...Lard was busy. I had no desire to bother him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabula Rasa Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I'm worried about the Lard. I haven't heard from Him for a while. I've tried praying, but it feels like nobody is listening to me. I've tried praising and worshiping Him, but it just feels empty, like I'm wasting my time praising and worshiping a fantasy, or like maybe I've pissed Him off and the Lard is shunning me. I would write Him a letter, but I don't have His mailing address or email address. I don't have His phone number either. I would try to go see the Lard, but I don't know for sure where He lives. I'm really in a spiritual pickle here! Has anyone here heard from the Lard recently? Is He OK? Do you know where He is or how He's doing? Can you find out for me why I haven't heard from Him? Is He pissed off at me? Is He shunning me? I want to make things right with Him if I can. Thanks, Brother Jeff Jeff mah brotha... you need to give up on believing in that mythical caananite storm god Yahweh. My god doesn't want any sacrifices and doesn't threaten you with hell, she just wants you to obey her by finding aliens,espers, and time travelers. Serve the Lord in this manner and one day she will seize you up in her size less grip and take you to paradise with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnceConvinced Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 From what one Chrstian says the lard is hanging out with him. But another Christian claims the lard is hanging out with him. It seems just about every Christian you meet claims they were chatting with him at the same time. So either the lard is to busy to waste his time on you or there are a lot of deluded people who believe their invisible friend is the lard. I don't think you have to ponder too hard on the correct answer for that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnceConvinced Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 My God, I just found out where the lard is! I was just watching this porno video a few moments ago and he was in that involved in a sex orgy! That's where he is right now Brother Jeff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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