So, my grandma died...

[spamandham]

This is the second funeral I will attend as an apostate. She had been suffering for quite some time, so this almost came as a relief. I have to say, and I don't understand this, but death bothers me less as an apostate than it did as a believer. I can only guess as to why.

 

Is it because I've attended numerous funerals, even of family and friends and have become numb?

 

Is it because I have embraced the reality of mortality and do not live under the delusion that I will live forever, thus removing the sting from death, which would otherwise threaten a belief in immortality?

 

Is it because I do not feel the sense of abandonment or senselessness of death within a purposefull universe (since I see no purpose, the purposelessness of death makes perfect sense)?

 

Have others gone through this before and after apostasy as well, and what are your perspectives?

[Ouroboros]

This is the second funeral I will attend as an apostate.  She had been suffering for quite some time, so this almost came as a relief.  I have to say, and I don't understand this, but death bothers me less as an apostate than it did as a believer.  I can only guess as to why.

 

Is it because I've attended numerous funerals, even of family and friends and have become numb?

 

Is it because I have embraced the reality of mortality and do not live under the delusion that I will live forever, thus removing the sting from death, which would otherwise threaten a belief in immortality?

 

Is it because I do not feel the sense of abandonment or senselessness of death within a purposefull universe (since I see no purpose, the purposelessness of death makes perfect sense)?

 

Have others gone through this before and after apostasy as well, and what are your perspectives?

 

I haven't had any deaths in my family since I de-converted, and I don't feel any fear of death as of now. I think you have accepted it as a part of nature and life, and it's just a part of our existence we can't avoid anyway.

 

To embrace death as a part of life is to embrace life and live it to the fullest.

Death gives a meaning to life and it encourage us to do something with it instead of becoming lethargic.

[Purple Rhino]

Spam sorry about your grandma.

 

For me death after christianity is more about the loss of the person without the fear or delusion of heaven, judgement etc.

 

Maybe it is acceptance of mortality of myself and others that as an eternity believing xian seemed impossibe for me to comprehend.

 

If someone is suffering with little to no quality of life death is a comfort to me now. Where before pleading for healing would have filled what little time I had left to spend with a loved one.

 

PR

[Vigile]

My grandfather died a couple of years ago and the funeral left me ready to strangle the damn young minister who presided. He hijacked the opportunity to turn the whole procession into one big evangelical recounting of the gospel. Who the fuck was he preaching to anyway? My whole family besides my sister in law and myself are christians. My grandmother died this year and I didn't fly back to the states for the funeral since I knew they would be using the same preacher.

 

The whole experience left me numb. I felt sorry for my grandfather wasting his life on the stupidity of christianity. He was a great man who I and the community always respected. I think he could have been greater if he didn't live his life for the church. I don't know how I feel about death, but I do know I miss him.

[☆ TexasFreethinker ☆]

S&H - I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.

 

I know what you mean by the feelings of relief. Both my grandmothers died after lengthy illnesses and I'm sure they would rather have died earlier than to have gone thru all they did in hospitals, etc.

 

As a non-believer, death no longer seems mysterious to me. I no longer wonder if I'll be seeing the person again - I assume I won't and that I won't care because I simply won't exist any longer either. For me, becoming an ex-christian has made death less threatening. I don't look forward to it, but I also don't dread it.

[Poonis]

Have others gone through this before and after apostasy as well, and what are your perspectives?

 

I have been through one funeral since my deconversion, and it, too, was for my grandmother.

 

What grief I felt was very little; maybe it was because she was old and was not to terribly unexpected, or maybe because I'm a cold-hearted bastard. I don't really know.

 

I did feel a sense of relief, in the midst of the funeral procession, and thought, "thats it, it's over, she's gone, we are here only to grieve."

 

Having very little grief (next to none, actually), I left and went about my day as normal.

 

This was a year and a half ago, and I have not had any regrets about what I thought, nor have I felt sad.

 

I do not fear death after my deconversion, nor do I fear anyone else's. When I die, I do not care what happens to my body, and I leave the funeral procession for it up to the wishes of those who are left behind.

[Amethyst]

This is the second funeral I will attend as an apostate. She had been suffering for quite some time, so this almost came as a relief. I have to say, and I don't understand this, but death bothers me less as an apostate than it did as a believer. I can only guess as to why.

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

I have not been through any funerals recently. I also don't fear death as much as I did. Even as a Christian, I marked "donor" on my driver's license...I don't particularly care what happens to my body parts after I'm dead.

[Dark Helmet]

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother Spam.

 

I lost my grandfather a bit over a year ago while I was deconverting and a good friend during an expedition in africa last winter. Both died of brain trauma, my grandpa of an ACV and my friend of high altitude cerebral oedema,they came totally unexpected. That hit pretty hard and it took me a while to get over it.

 

I'm not afraid of death, I didn't mind not existing before I was born and I surely won't give a fuck after I'm dead. The process of dying is more of what frighten me... I hope to never know when it comes, it must be terrible to see it coming.

 

It really sucks that we have to die. If it was only for me I'd love to see how humanity will turn out in the next millenias. Will we destroy ourselves? reach for the stars? I wish I could stay around, mortality sucks but it's reality and it bites.

[Vixentrox]

I've attended two grand-parents funerals since I regained my mind. Luckily, neither was terribly religious and although there was a church thing for both, it wasn't overly grotesque.