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Goodbye Jesus

Deacon's Kid

Guest reger60

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Guest reger60

I didn't so much grow up with faith, but I did grow up in it. I was brought up Baptist. My father is a died-in-the-wool "born againer." He naturally assumed that his children would grow up believing the same things he did. We went to church twice on Sunday, Monday night youth night, Wednesday night prayer meeting, Friday night witnessing (which in itself a horrifying experience.)


My father was a deacon in the church. Being a deacon's kid is tougher than being a preacher's kid. At least a Baptist preacher works next door to his kids and he gets paid to put the church before his family. A deacon's kid? His dad does about the same for free, is always at the church, on top of his day job. To this day, he still puts his church before my mother.


Anyway, from the time I was born into this lifestyle, I was told that God loves me, but I was not worthy of it. The only way to spare myself from an eternity of hellfire is to devote my life to God.


So, at the tender age of six, I was "born again" and subsequently was Baptised. I had no idea what I was signing on for. But as far as my old man was concerned, I had enlisted into God's army.


As a teenager I was denied when I wanted to go to the movies, when I wanted to go to school dances. I wasn't even allowed to attend youth functions at other churches. Totally insane. No reasoning. No explanation. Just pure fear that I would embrace a lifestyle of which they were not in control.


I left home at 18 and got a job and put myself through college. I haven't been back to a church since. I did, however, make up for lost time with booze, drugs and women. I was an immature ass that didn't grow up until was in my thirties. I lost a wife and a child due to my selfish behavior. Never being allowed to make a responsible decision as an adolescent left me unequipped to make wise decisions as a young adult.


I'm still very close with my father, but religion is a non-topic for all intents and purposes. If he chooses to talk to me about it, I listen respectfully, but rarely engage.


Over the years, I have sought out answers and have found that critical thought is far more sensible and responsible than blind faith. I do not believe in organized religion. I do not believe that the Bible was divinely inspired. I do not believe in heaven or hell. i do not believe in the God or the Holy Sprit. I do not believe that there has ever been a Messiah. I do not believe in creation.


On the other hand, I do believe in morals and ethics, responsibility to family and my fellow man. I believe the values taught by the church do not require divine inspiration to follow, the require common sense and a sense of morality. I believe that organized religion was invented by man in an effort to exercise control and enrich power.


I don't know that I ever lost my faith. I'm not sure I ever really had any. I have built a strong family and career on my own terms. I am now 47-year-old. I am a civil, thoughtful and caring individual, just like my father. I have a lovely wife, to whom I'm faithful and a 10-year-old child that I am raising without organized religion. Even though I have many regrets, I'm happy with my life.

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Welcome the the forums, reger60.


Sometimes it takes us a lot of acting out to shake off the damage of a xian upbringing. I'm glad that you've come through and made a good life for yourself. (Also glad you found us!)

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Woww! Awesome story, dude. Similar to mine.



Glad you made it and with no regrets!


I am near your age and have mountains of regrets over so many things.



I wish I could have so much lost, wasted time back.




Thanks for your story! I'm glad it turned out happy for you!!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello, reger60! I just wanted to offer you a belated welcome. I like the way you are so matter of fact about your lack of belief in the bible, heaven and hell, etc. Like you, I don't think I ever had real faith, but unlike you, it has taken me a long time to admit it. I hope you benefit from this site, and I am sure that many of us can benefit from your experience. Thanks for posting your story.

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