Ixchel Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Hello My name is Bianca. I am nineteen. At fifteen, after fifteen years of abuse by my mother, I was sent to a Christian children's Home. When I got there, I was the usual rebel, and always got in trouble for it. Then finally, I gave up and converted. I read the Bible, I went to Church 3 times a week, and I was active in Youth. Then I was moved to another cottage at the home. Katie and Guy were part of the reason why I am an atheist today. Instead of welcoming my questions as a sign of curiosity, they took it as defiance, and insubordination to god. I was punished for saying that President Bush was not a Christian by being sent out to weed a field. I was constantly told that I needed to lose weight because God said so. I was healthy then, too, and it was very depressing to hear. After all of that, I started to cut. I was depressed and God was just not helping. In fact, because of Guy and Katie, he was the reason I was so miserable. The people at NMCCH are all the types of people who look at depression and bipolar disorder and the like and say that it's all in your head, and that if you pray, god will heal you. My friend nearly died because of that. When I left, I still had a shred of the faith I had. I still accepted that there was a god, but I didn't want anything to do with him. Finally, after 4 years of stumbling around, finding contradictions in scripture, and fighting with god, the proverbial straw on the camel's back was Sam Harris' book, Letter to a Christian Nation. I had been searching and there was my answer. There was no God. All man ever worshiped was himself. It was a hard journey, but I'm here, and I couldn't be happier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 It was a hard journey, but I'm here, and I couldn't be happier. Welcome Bianca. The edit button shows up after a few (5 maybe?) posts. I'm not quite sure why. You have quite a background but you'll find a number of sympathetic ears here who can relate. On the bright side, you saw religion for what it is young. Some of us of thicker skull took a few years to finally get it. Happy New Year's and here's to a bright future. --Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Ack! I pressed enter too soon. How do you edit? Well, anyways. Sorry about that. If a mod could like edit this into the first post, I'd be much obliged. Fixed. Edit comes after 25 posts, and it's a feature we added because of avoiding crazy situations when we had trolls coming in and posting something, and someone responded, and then the troll changed their original post to something else. This way we get a chance to see what kind of person it is first. And welcome to our site, (I like apple pie too. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Welcome to the forums, Ixchel. I'm sorry about what you've gone through, but glad that you're nineteen, with so many years of freedom ahead of you. Enjoy the site, as I'm sure we'll enjoy your contributions here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GypsyMoon Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Katie and Guy were part of the reason why I am an atheist today. Instead of welcoming my questions as a sign of curiosity, they took it as defiance, and insubordination to god. I was punished for saying that President Bush was not a Christian by being sent out to weed a field. I was constantly told that I needed to lose weight because God said so. I was healthy then, too, and it was very depressing to hear. After all of that, I started to cut. I was depressed and God was just not helping. In fact, because of Guy and Katie, he was the reason I was so miserable. The people at NMCCH are all the types of people who look at depression and bipolar disorder and the like and say that it's all in your head, and that if you pray, god will heal you. My friend nearly died because of that. I think its sad how Christians think like that. Im glad you found an answer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QuidEstCaritas? Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Hello My name is Bianca. I am nineteen. At fifte ldn't be happier. I am glad that you made it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ixchel Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Thank you all for your kind responses. @Han Solo: Thank you for editing my first post. XD I loved this icon the first time I saw it, cos I found it witty and I love math. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShackledNoMore Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Welcome, Ixchel. What a terrible upbringing you had, and once you started realizing the atrocities of the bible god, the terrible acts carried out in his name even today, and the way he's used as both boogyman and redeemer to sculpt both children and adults, and before you examined things in enough depth to detect the snow job, it must have been terrible, albeit very brave, to eschew this god, yet believe in his existence. Fear of hell is a common enough theme already, especially among the more recently deconverted and among those giving up their beliefs in gods, and the bible god in particular. I have to agree, I love your avatar. It reminds me of the old Halloween joke, "what do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?" Your user name, I assume, is a reference to the Mayan goddess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ixchel Posted December 30, 2008 Author Share Posted December 30, 2008 Someone knows their mythology! Yes. I love babies, and always have, and my dream is to be a doctor. Not exactly a midwife, but almost in the same jist. And thank you for your kind words. -hugs- It was very hard to give up my faith, because I was so sure that god was the only person who loved me. But then I made real friends, who loved me even when I pissed them off and helped me with the cutting. Someone that real was better than an invisible god who stood around and let my houseparents use his name for my torment. I'm sad to say that some of that fear still has me in it's reins, especially when people who try to reconvert me ask "What if you're wrong". I am working on that, because I know now that it was only someone in my head, an imaginary friend, and one that is unneeded and unnecessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jann Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Bianca, AND ALL THE REST IS PROSELYTIZING, WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN IN THIS FORUM. READ THE GUIDELINES AND FOLLOW THEM OR YOU WILL BE TURNED INTO A PILLAR OF SALT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 hello there welcome, am so happy that you have made it through such tough trials so far in your young life, you remind me a little of myself, I was a cutter for 4 years but I have been free for almost a year now, and I was once a on fire xian, was involved my whole life in it, but like you I had many issues with xianty and life, that I never seem to get anything near a decent answer on but while in my own struggle I read Godless by Dan Barker that pretty much was a decisive blow to my xian beliefs, and it easily helped me walk away from religion to be a atheist, the road of life is still long ahead of you but at least you can rejoice that you have seen the light, and feel free to ask for anykind of support here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Welcome. Sorry to hear about the tough times you faced. Hope things are better for you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Looks like an Xian resurrected a 6 month old thread and was promptly slapped down for preaching. Thank you Pitchu for your vigilance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 wow thats pretty weak, I just noticed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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