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Goodbye Jesus

Freedom Is Knowing That That You Dont Know


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The Zombie Jesus Mind Virus.


Sorry for poor English writing skills. I am after all a product a private christian school education.


I was born into a typical ultra fundy Southern BBaptist environment.

Out of 6 siblings and two sets of parents/ grand parents, I am the ONLY one to have left fundamentalism, about 10 years ago.


Son of a preacher/ teacher, overseas missionary, healing, Christian zionist, YEC, End TIme/ Prophecy Junkie.


I Attended small private Christian Schools, mostly Baptist except for the 3 years I spent in a denomination called " Bible Missionary", a cult similar to the Amish or Mennonite.

The women could not cut their hair, no jewelry, no pants, no cosmetics,no TV, no dancing.

Monthly revival meetings and the cultish belief in the " Sanctification " doctrine, where you no longer sin.

I have NEVER met a group of individuals so dysfunctional, so hypocritical, so unhappy,

than a church full of people who believed they reached a certain point in their christian spirituality where they actually stopped sinning.


The last few years of my high school life, I attended public school for the first time.

I led bible studies and prayer groups, I walked around downtown passing out bibles and chick tracts.


My deconversion was completely unexpected and began after high school when I, for the first time seriously studied on my own, what I loved the most, the Bible and Creationism.

My entire identity and love affair with christianity had to with this concept of Unconditional Love, Jesus Loves me. I was enthusiastic and driven to live Christianity, be "on fire for Christ", and tell everyone.

also hell-bent on proving Creationism true ( I have always loved science), I had no idea what I was jumping into.

I had never before been exposed to critical thinking, the scientific method, other religions, canon history, Christian history and development and so on.


During this time I was working 12 shifts with nothing to do but sit and think about things... I realized, after dwelling on the compatibility of the Hell doctrine vs.Unconditional Love vs. Justice.

It really hit me suddenly like a brick, Christian doctrines of Hell and Love is the ultimate illogical oxymoronic belief. I suddenly realized I could no longer believe in Hell.

A few moments after I realized I could no longer believe in hell... my entire belief system collapsed. I sat down, cried for a week, and lost my entire self-identity.


About week later I woke up one morning, as happy as I have ever been in my life, a HUGE world open before my eyes. A world full of Beauty, Freedom, and the thrill of the journey, the love of Not Knowing. The love of Learning.

I felt for lack of a better word, truly Born Again. I really believe there was some physiologcial chemical change in my brain. Everything looked different, brighter, even colors...it was the oddest thing. I felt my entire Self- Identity was gone. While it was scary at first, It became a source of renewal, inspiration, and new life after time.


During my christian experience, I managed to infect/save 3 people with the Zombie Jesus Mind Virus, and 1 guy I accidentally "led to Christ" after my deconversion.

Thankfully I have helped de-convert 3 people ( one more to GO!), balancing out the negative Karma I feel infecting people with the Zombie Jesus Mind Virus.


After my de-convertion, I accidentally converted one individual to Paulianity after giving him a handfull of tickets to an evangelical Halloween event a few years ago.

My mom gave me the tickets hoping I would attend and repent, I gave them away at a warehouse I was working at.

The next day a co-worker walked up to me with tears in his eyes, hugged and thanked me for introducing him to Christianity.

DAMN-IT, more negative Karma


My family, siblings, parents, and christian friends, they dropped me years ago.

But thats life and not that uncommon amoungst fundamentalist cultures.


A month ago I attend my step fathers funeral, who died from Lou Garretts disease. ( after a year of unsucsessful healing rituals)

My mother thought it would be a good idea to have the pastor give a funeral message about the son who will never see the father again, because the son was not a christian.

While everyone else gets to spend eternity with him..... nice, my mother makes a public statement of spiritual disownment towards me at my fathers funeral... ouch that hurts a little bit..

.accually this is what motivated me to come back to exchristian web sites after so many years away.


Thankfully my wife and best friend of 14 years is 90% deconverted.


TO all you Christians out there reading this and feeling doubts about the validity of your Faith....dont let the irrational fear of not knowing keep you from questioning.


Viruses are strong, they want to feed and reproduce, they dont want to kill the host.

Dont let the viral survival mechanisms control you.


Freedom is knowing that you dont know.

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Nice to meet you Phaceless! You have a great deconversion story. I enjoyed reading that. Sorry to hear that your mother would manipulate a funeral to preach at you. That must have been very uncomfortable.


I hope you leap into the conversations around here. I think you have much to offer.



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