Guest Hamster Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hi everyone, I'm new to the ExChristian.net site. I'm considering deconverting from christianity, and I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I'm not sure whether to let any of my friends know about this, or to leave it until the situation presents itself. If this has been posted before, would someone be able to refer me to the right topic? I appreciate any suggestions. Thanks, Hamster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Net Eng Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hi everyone, I'm new to the ExChristian.net site. I'm considering deconverting from christianity, and I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I'm not sure whether to let any of my friends know about this, or to leave it until the situation presents itself. If this has been posted before, would someone be able to refer me to the right topic? I appreciate any suggestions. Thanks, Hamster Welcome to Ex-Christian Hamster!! I would suggest reading through the Testimonies of Former Christians section. You might find some folks here that have the same questions you do. If you have Christian friends I would not discuss this with them... yet. You need time to figure out what you believe. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightflight Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hi everyone, I'm new to the ExChristian.net site. I'm considering deconverting from christianity, and I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I'm not sure whether to let any of my friends know about this, or to leave it until the situation presents itself. If this has been posted before, would someone be able to refer me to the right topic? I appreciate any suggestions. Thanks, Hamster You should just lay low for awhile; no need to bring any conflict into your life unnecessarily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hamster, What do you mean you're "considering" de-converting? Do you still believe in the things Christianity stands for, or not? If you still believe in it, then you are a Christian, right? But if you don't believe it anymore, then aren't you already a de-convert? Just asking, because when I lost my faith, it was gone, just gone, not like I planned it. It wasn't like I was making my mind up if I wanted to stop believing, it just happened. But it sounds like you are planning to lose your faith, and I'm not sure if that's possible. So the main question right now is: do you believe in Jesus as the Son of God or do you not? And the answer will tell you if you're a Christian or a de-convert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hi Hamster, welcome to Ex-C! May I ask if you are considering deconverting and are still considering yourself a Christian, what issues are holding you back? Maybe we could then address it or direct you better to a specific topic. I agree with Nightflight, no need to tell anyone yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hamster Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thanks for all your replies. HanSolo, thanks for your reply, and I appologise for confusing anyone with my post. I've recently left Christianity, and I needed some advice on how to deal with my christian friends. Thanks, Hamster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted January 3, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted January 3, 2009 I've recently left Christianity, and I needed some advice on how to deal with my christian friends. Thanks, Hamster Welcome, Hamster. You will find a lot of discussion on that topic here. Usually, once you leave a church/religion, you find that they are not your friends at all. If you are not a "brother" or "sister" in christ, they have no use for you, except maybe to try to re-convert you. It's a big change for most people to leave a belief system because there is also the social aspect. Some people have only had Christian friends and Christian activities for years. Welcome to the real world! You'll do fine, but it usually takes time to get comfortable with the rational life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deb Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Welcome Hamster! Ditto to everything posted above. Just spend some time reading through all the different threads and you'll find much encouragement. Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hamster Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 florduh, Thanks for the welcome. I think I have a lot of work ahead of me trying to recover from my past experiences. Maybe when the time is right I'll post my deconvertion experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 HanSolo, thanks for your reply, and I appologise for confusing anyone with my post. I've recently left Christianity, and I needed some advice on how to deal with my christian friends. Ah, okay. That makes more sense. Well, put it this way... it's not easy. It took me a few years to settle with my own mind and emotions to be able to have friends of different beliefs. We have friends from almost every category now, and it's a matter of learning to avoid the "big" questions. We don't have any heavy extremists in our circle, and I suspect it wouldn't work anyway. The Christians who are more open about alternative ideas and thoughts are easier to deal with, while those who stick to their guns about Jesus only and you must be saved and every second sentence is about God, are extremely hard to socialize with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessicaSideways Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hamster, let me help you out here - the first things first, you have to get what you believe figured out. If you don't believe in the Christian god, then you aren't Christian. Simple as that. But before you reveal that to others, try to figure out what you DO believe and start your research. After 2 years of being godless, I identify as an agnostic atheist buddhist transcendentalist. I am still godless and I abbreviate my beliefs to atheist when it would be more convienent to do so, simply because saying all four of those things would be a little hard to explain to people. And my beliefs are based on rational thought and much research, not on faith. Find what you believe and research it honestly and clearly so you know that you aren't just taking this on faith. Namaste, Jessica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocketAces Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Hi everyone, I'm new to the ExChristian.net site. I'm considering deconverting from christianity, and I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I'm not sure whether to let any of my friends know about this, or to leave it until the situation presents itself. If this has been posted before, would someone be able to refer me to the right topic? I appreciate any suggestions. Thanks, Hamster if your considering deconverting from Christianity, you have more important issues than to worry about proclaiming it to everyone in my opinion. i only say that because your at a point where your beliefs are not what they used to be, and you probably have good reason why your questioning and changing, and figuring that out is more important than being vocal about it, especially at first. so i'd just let the situation present itself personally. it'll present itself in due time and you'll have to face it whether you want to or not someday. so i'd just focus on yourself for now, and let it come whenever it comes. that's the way it worked for me, which now i'm not too concerned anymore about the reaction of those that know me be it family or friends. the only worry i have is if people will be hurt but then i remember, if they can be hurt by my views changing, that's their problem not mine. and i think it gives you time to build some peace and strength in yourself with your change. i think its easy to deal with people's reaction when your strong in your new beliefs. if your not strong in your beliefs, then that worry is going to lead you to make yourself look weak, and that's the last thing you want to go in when dealing with believers be it friends or not. i look at believers like wolves in a way when it comes to this issue. hungry to reach people, and they know, the only people that can be reached are the individuals that are weak in their change, be it because it just happened for them or not but when they see they cannot work with you, they cannot persuade you, their reaction isn't that bad, and they don't try so hard to be a giver of their gospel. it makes sense. there's no reason to push for belief from people that are strong enough to reject and deny every reason that they give, but people open to it, they will go after like wolves go after their victims, or maybe for a better analogy, its simple marketing. i learned this through one of my friends that i knew for years. he is an adamant Christian, always willing to defend the faith, and debate and discuss it. at least that's what he was like when we were around each other when i was younger. his views haven't changed over the years. he's been through some hard times as of late, and his beliefs are just strengthened by that. so we had a discussion about religion and homosexuality via facebook for a little bit. it only lasted about only 4 statements. his original statement, my response, his response, then my response. the topic wasn't solely about homosexuality but it was about that and just Christianity in general and he hasn't responded to me since my last statement. of course there is always exceptions to the rule, meaning those that will argue with for no reason but for me at least what i've experienced, if you show strength in your lack of faith, the faithful back down, and you have nothing to worry about when telling people. sure they may believe horrible things about you but oh well. if you can lead the faithful to be two faced to you, that's better than being hammered with something you don't believe in anymore all the time from people you know and the only way i have found to be able to mix with the faithful is to be strong in my atheism when the situations come about. i'll take their 2 faceness over them trying to reach out to me, because there's no problem here that needs to be reached to from them. so just don't worry about telling people. never lie if asked during the process of your deconversion but don't worry so much about that. focus more on you, what you believe, the reasons why your deconverting from Christianity, and just let those situations come about, and when they do, you'll be better prepared for them, just because of the strength of your conviction in your change of views and get yourself to a strong point in your new belief for yourself, and then it'll show when those times come up, and they won't be that bad to deal with. just my .02 and i hope the best for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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