defygravity Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Hello all! I found this site mentioned on another forum so I decided to come check it out since I am in that same boat of being an exChristian. Like many I grew up in an Evangelical/Fundamentalists Christian home, went to a Christian private school, etc. My journey began when my father died in 2002. He suffered for 2 years with cancer before he died. What really made me mad was a comment my mother made the day of his memorial service. She said to the effect that my dad didn't pray hard enough and if he had prayed harder he would still be here... That man prayed every single day, every single moment of the day that he was aware, sometimes narcotic drugs make you really out of it. People from our church, neighbors churches, from my old school all came to pray with him. That wasn't enough? That seems pretty heartless of an all loving God who can "heal" when we ask for it. I have been questioning religion ever since and I have been obsessed with the afterlife and paranormal topics since my dad's passing. My one brother has been going through the same doubts as me. I finally came to the point in 2008 to admit to myself that I am NOT a Christian but I still believe there is God just not in a religious sense at all. It's been a struggle. It's hard to let go of the way one is brought up. Sadly, though I can't fully admit it to my mother... yet. I have gotten into debates with her about the Bible but so far she is still in the dark about my choice and I am 37 years old with 2 boys and great husband who backs me up and supports me. She calls me up every other week wondering if I have found a church yet or did I go at all. She keeps going on how I need to raise my boys to be men of God. I just cringe when I see her name on the caller ID. She would go on about how her tree fell over so she says God wanted her to get rid of that tree... It was just an old, rotted tree Mom and a good stiff wind blew it over! She also sent me a Bible reading schedule for 2009, I just might do it, though just so I can be more knowledgeable, I have hardly picked up a Bible since I graduated nearly 20 years ago from the Christian private school. We live in Korea, have been here for 2 years due to the military. These last two years have been amazing for me in my quest for knowledge and spirituality. Moving here has changed my life and helped me to see outside to box so to speak. Outside that American box. I had the typical southern (from Texas, ya'll) religious and conservative views regarding things like immigration and language differences. Living in a foreign country has made me more aware and sympathetic because learning Korean is hard! Thank God they have signs in English, LOL, or else I would be so lost! So, I don't see any reason not to have signs in Spanish in the states, then. However, that is totally different topic but I want to get serious about learning Spanish fluently. I had 4 years of it in high school and learned all the "good" stuff while I was in the Navy years ago but I can't speak it that well and I definitely can't hear it well, people speak it too fast. I can read it some what but don't put money on my translations. So we have at least one year left in Korea and I hope it goes by slow because the 2 years here flew by. Well, there's my condensed story. Hope to learn more here and make some like minded friends here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest QuidEstCaritas? Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Hello all! I found this site mentioned on another forum so I decided to come check it out since I am in that same boat of being an exChristian. Like many I grew up in an Evangelical/Fundamentalists Christian home, went to a Christian private school, etc. My journey began when my father died in 2002. He suffered for 2 years with cancer before he died. What really made me mad was a comment my mother made the day of his memorial service. She said to the effect that my dad didn't pray hard enough and if he had prayed harder he would still be here... That man prayed every single day, every single moment of the day that he was aware, sometimes narcotic drugs make you really out of it. People from our church, neighbors churches, from my old school all came to pray with him. That wasn't enough? That seems pretty heartless of an all loving God who can "heal" when we ask for it. I have been questioning religion ever since and I have been obsessed with the afterlife and paranormal topics since my dad's passing. My one brother has been going through the same doubts as me. I finally came to the point in 2008 to admit to myself that I am NOT a Christian but I still believe there is God just not in a religious sense at all. It's been a struggle. It's hard to let go of the way one is brought up. Sadly, though I can't fully admit it to my mother... yet. I have gotten into debates with her about the Bible but so far she is still in the dark about my choice and I am 37 years old with 2 boys and great husband who backs me up and supports me. She calls me up every other week wondering if I have found a church yet or did I go at all. She keeps going on how I need to raise my boys to be men of God. I just cringe when I see her name on the caller ID. She would go on about how her tree fell over so she says God wanted her to get rid of that tree... It was just an old, rotted tree Mom and a good stiff wind blew it over! She also sent me a Bible reading schedule for 2009, I just might do it, though just so I can be more knowledgeable, I have hardly picked up a Bible since I graduated nearly 20 years ago from the Christian private school. We live in Korea, have been here for 2 years due to the military. These last two years have been amazing for me in my quest for knowledge and spirituality. Moving here has changed my life and helped me to see outside to box so to speak. Outside that American box. I had the typical southern (from Texas, ya'll) religious and conservative views regarding things like immigration and language differences. Living in a foreign country has made me more aware and sympathetic because learning Korean is hard! Thank God they have signs in English, LOL, or else I would be so lost! So, I don't see any reason not to have signs in Spanish in the states, then. However, that is totally different topic but I want to get serious about learning Spanish fluently. I had 4 years of it in high school and learned all the "good" stuff while I was in the Navy years ago but I can't speak it that well and I definitely can't hear it well, people speak it too fast. I can read it some what but don't put money on my translations. So we have at least one year left in Korea and I hope it goes by slow because the 2 years here flew by. Well, there's my condensed story. Hope to learn more here and make some like minded friends here. Fascinating story. Sounds like your having loads of fun in Korea. Awesome. Btw, your mother sounds a bit like my own. If the tree falls down "God did it!". Hehe Welcome to ExC. I am new here too. Cya around! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Welcome, defygravity! It sounds like you lead a pretty exciting life. I haven't travelled much so the thought of living in another country intriques me. It sounds pretty cool. I smiled when I read this: Sadly, though I can't fully admit it to my mother... yet. I have gotten into debates with her about the Bible but so far she is still in the dark about my choice and I am 37 years old with 2 boys and great husband who backs me up and supports me. She calls me up every other week wondering if I have found a church yet or did I go at all. She keeps going on how I need to raise my boys to be men of God. I just cringe when I see her name on the caller ID. I thought perhaps it would build up and you would suddenly blurt it out like I did this past weekend. It was painful (and I am sure there is still a lot of hell to pay ), but I do feel very, very relieved to have it out there. I hope you enjoy being here, and I look forward to your future posts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted January 13, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted January 13, 2009 Welcome to the site, defygravity. You'll find a lot of people who can relate to your story. Moms will be moms! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defygravity Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 Welcome, defygravity! It sounds like you lead a pretty exciting life. I haven't travelled much so the thought of living in another country intriques me. It sounds pretty cool. I smiled when I read this:Sadly, though I can't fully admit it to my mother... yet. I have gotten into debates with her about the Bible but so far she is still in the dark about my choice and I am 37 years old with 2 boys and great husband who backs me up and supports me. She calls me up every other week wondering if I have found a church yet or did I go at all. She keeps going on how I need to raise my boys to be men of God. I just cringe when I see her name on the caller ID. I thought perhaps it would build up and you would suddenly blurt it out like I did this past weekend. It was painful (and I am sure there is still a lot of hell to pay ), but I do feel very, very relieved to have it out there. I hope you enjoy being here, and I look forward to your future posts! I had seen that post and I had to laugh because it will probably be just a blurted out revelation, LOL! My poor mom, I don't know how she will take it, she really has no idea about my choices or my brother and his wife. My SIL is Wiccan... my mom will probably have a heart attack over that one so my SIL is just keeping it quiet so not to cause an upheaval. i love my SIL, though, she is just the sweetest, most caring person. Goes to show morals have nothing to do with Christianity. I want to keep a civil relationship with my mom especially since my dad's passing. I think if she knew she would be more pushy and it will wedge us further apart. However, I hate lying to her. I just feel like a wuss since I am not far from 40. I know my dad would have been more open. Thanks for the welcome. I have read quite a bit on here and I just think wow that's like me or that's like my family or I feel the same way! So it's nice to have found this board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitchu Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 Welcome to the forums, defygravity. I have read quite a bit on here and I just think wow that's like me or that's like my family or I feel the same way! So it's nice to have found this board. I know, huh?! Many newbies say similar things. Sometimes I think WM Dave, in creating this site, has done a greater service than he could possibly ever realize. Good luck with your mom, your next year in Korea and your improved Spanish. Otra vez, bienvenidos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 We live in Korea, have been here for 2 years due to the military. These last two years have been amazing for me in my quest for knowledge and spirituality. Moving here has changed my life and helped me to see outside to box so to speak. Outside that American box.. Hey we are practically neighbors I've been living in Japan since August, as an English teacher. Welcome to the site. We need more people here near my time zone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuroikaze Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 I want to keep a civil relationship with my mom especially since my dad's passing. I think if she knew she would be more pushy and it will wedge us further apart. However, I hate lying to her. I just feel like a wuss since I am not far from 40. I know my dad would have been more open. No need to feel like a wuss, I just kinda blurted out to my parents and regretted that later. I have yet to tell my grandma and probably never will, she is in her 80's now. She no bible scholar and wouldn't understand my reasons, nor would it help anything at all. It is up to you what you thing is best, but sometimes its leave it alone, or as they say in Texas, "let sleeping dogs lie" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defygravity Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 We live in Korea, have been here for 2 years due to the military. These last two years have been amazing for me in my quest for knowledge and spirituality. Moving here has changed my life and helped me to see outside to box so to speak. Outside that American box.. Hey we are practically neighbors I've been living in Japan since August, as an English teacher. Welcome to the site. We need more people here near my time zone Cool! My husband and I would love to go to Japan during Spring break but due to the economic slump our Overseas Cost of Living Allowance has gone waaaaay down so I highly doubt we'll be able to afford it even though it's like a hop over there, LOL! Who knows, we'll see. We're living in the Seoul area. My husband hashes with a lot of English teachers here. In case you don't know what hashing is it's called the Hash House Harriers, it's drinking group with a running problem... yeah that is their motto and they can be brash. They run all over the place. It can be through someone's yard, an office building, an alley... where ever the hare leaves it's mark the hashers must follow. My husband loves it. Some of the songs they... it would piss off any religious person! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defygravity Posted January 13, 2009 Author Share Posted January 13, 2009 I meant some of the songs they SING... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIRACYs LADY Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Hello all! I found this site mentioned on another forum so I decided to come check it out since I am in that same boat of being an exChristian. Like many I grew up in an Evangelical/Fundamentalists Christian home, went to a Christian private school, etc. My journey began when my father died in 2002. He suffered for 2 years with cancer before he died. What really made me mad was a comment my mother made the day of his memorial service. She said to the effect that my dad didn't pray hard enough and if he had prayed harder he would still be here... That man prayed every single day, every single moment of the day that he was aware, sometimes narcotic drugs make you really out of it. People from our church, neighbors churches, from my old school all came to pray with him. That wasn't enough? That seems pretty heartless of an all loving God who can "heal" when we ask for it. I have been questioning religion ever since and I have been obsessed with the afterlife and paranormal topics since my dad's passing. My one brother has been going through the same doubts as me. I finally came to the point in 2008 to admit to myself that I am NOT a Christian but I still believe there is God just not in a religious sense at all. It's been a struggle. It's hard to let go of the way one is brought up. Sadly, though I can't fully admit it to my mother... yet. I have gotten into debates with her about the Bible but so far she is still in the dark about my choice and I am 37 years old with 2 boys and great husband who backs me up and supports me. She calls me up every other week wondering if I have found a church yet or did I go at all. She keeps going on how I need to raise my boys to be men of God. I just cringe when I see her name on the caller ID. She would go on about how her tree fell over so she says God wanted her to get rid of that tree... It was just an old, rotted tree Mom and a good stiff wind blew it over! She also sent me a Bible reading schedule for 2009, I just might do it, though just so I can be more knowledgeable, I have hardly picked up a Bible since I graduated nearly 20 years ago from the Christian private school. We live in Korea, have been here for 2 years due to the military. These last two years have been amazing for me in my quest for knowledge and spirituality. Moving here has changed my life and helped me to see outside to box so to speak. Outside that American box. I had the typical southern (from Texas, ya'll) religious and conservative views regarding things like immigration and language differences. Living in a foreign country has made me more aware and sympathetic because learning Korean is hard! Thank God they have signs in English, LOL, or else I would be so lost! So, I don't see any reason not to have signs in Spanish in the states, then. However, that is totally different topic but I want to get serious about learning Spanish fluently. I had 4 years of it in high school and learned all the "good" stuff while I was in the Navy years ago but I can't speak it that well and I definitely can't hear it well, people speak it too fast. I can read it some what but don't put money on my translations. So we have at least one year left in Korea and I hope it goes by slow because the 2 years here flew by. Well, there's my condensed story. Hope to learn more here and make some like minded friends here. A very kind welcome to you.I am finding that latley there have been numerous posts about women who are still,worried,concererned or even scared to tell there moms how they really feel. I think thats just awful.I would love to be able to tell my mom anything with the knowledge that shed still love me but sadly I do not think it is so. Or I would get "Well I love you, but"I just dont like you very much right now." I am a mom and I am making it one of many number one goals that my children can choose thier freedoms, their likes and dislikes can be known. I have enough faith and courage in how they were raised by me to do this. I am sorry that what were mother said to you at your fathers service hurt you so deeply. But I understand completley how you must have felt. How are you liking Korea? My cousin was stationed out there for 4 years and they really liked it. You mentioned you really wantd to get fluent in Spanish....Well if you ever finding yourself in need of help I am fluent in spanish and a few others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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