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I'm A Devil Worshipper


PandaPirate
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According to my boyfriend's very delusional and control freak mother, I am a devil worshipper. Among a few things she told me the other day were:

 

ME: "You don't control him, why don't you mind your own business."

HER: "Yes I do control him!" (she literally said this!)

 

HER: "You were baptised at church and you are supposed to go to Church!!!"

ME: "Fuck you, you sick twisted bitch. Go to hell." (I literally said these words.)

 

Hey, maybe I do worship the devil after all.

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I'm sorry you have to put up with that shit, must be draining. Hag.

 

Sounds like the failings of a petty tyrant faced with something she isn't used to.

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You go, girl!

 

I imagine everyone who doesn't adhere to her church's doctrines is a "devil worshipper."

 

I'd say you're in good company.

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You go, girl!

 

I imagine everyone who doesn't adhere to her church's doctrines is a "devil worshipper."

 

I'd say you're in good company.

 

Or anyone that crosses her "authority", no doubt...

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According to my boyfriend's very delusional and control freak mother, I am a devil worshipper. Among a few things she told me the other day were:

 

ME: "You don't control him, why don't you mind your own business."

HER: "Yes I do control him!" (she literally said this!)

 

HER: "You were baptised at church and you are supposed to go to Church!!!"

 

I don't know what age you were when baptized but that is the HUGE problem I have with infant baptism. I saw it once. And in my opinion it should be made illegal. NO ONE should have the right to make vows of life commitment on the behalf of another human being as is done in infant baptism. Believer's baptism, no matter how young and naive, at least allows the individual to remember that it happened and the reasons for it...But this isn't the theology section.

 

PandaPirate, it's okay to worship Satan. I don't know if any of our members here at exC are Satanists or not but I've read about their beliefs and they seem to be pretty good people. I don't fully understand why they take the name they do; much the same as why Christians take the name they do and why other people call themselves after their god, I think. Satan was apparently not an evil being originally. The myth just got distorted and mixed up over time so that by the time we came along--at least in fundy Christian mythology--he's seen as the epitome of evil. Obviously, evil is reified in order to do this, but evil must be reified in order to make hell functional--not to mention such useful purposes as controling the masses.

 

It really was necessary to have a hell full of fire in medieval Europe when so many of the people lived in the countryside out of the reach of the church's control, and practiced their own pagan religions. The more the Roman Empire fell into ruin, and the more Europe fell into the Dark Ages of lawlessness so that the bishops were the sole legal authority, the more necessary such tools as fire pits full of hellfire and brimstone became. At least, that is one way of looking at it, based on the few historical references I was given by my profs on the topic. They didn't believe in an afterlife, which automatically did away with hell.

 

I think the Roman Empire fell to pieces around 600 CE/AD. One of my profs said the terrible beliefs about hell developed in medieval times and were not present in the NT. Was it Dante's painting that brought it to its fullest manifestation with devils and pitch-forks and pits of fire? Fundies say the liberal Christians just don't want to believe in hell, so it's next to impossible to know if the profs really are giving an unbiased perspective.

 

To be sure that the early Church Fathers did not think this way, I'd have to do a PhD on their writings and I don't want to. Maybe a good book exists on the topic but I have no idea. What I'm saying is that one would have to sift the writings of Christians before the fall of the Roman Empire to disprove this hypothesis. Finding an unbiased book on the topic that was written by a Christian since 600 CE--and being sure it is unbiased--would be practically impossible. Just reading the Anti-Nicene Fathers in whatever English edition one happens to have handy is not a guarantee at all. Some Greek words do not translate neatly into English. The theological conviction of the translator plays heavily into how the word gets translated.

 

Also, one has to be familiar with the culture of the writers so one knows what the Greek words would have meant to them. For example, why did a certain person use this word and not that one? Thus, just learning to read Greek isn't enough--not if, by any chance, the Anti-Nicene Fathers mention anything resembling hell. If they don't, then we don't even have to know Greek; we can just read them in whatever English edition we have handy. That is my opinion. But I think we need to look at them to know whether or not hell as we know it is an invention of the later church.

 

But in order for hell to function, we need the existence of evil in and of itself. I do not believe there is such a thing. The fundies don't like that. They tend to impersonate those devils with the pitchforks as closely as any living being can. They are horrified when they hear me say such things but sometimes it's hard for me not to tell the truth. Oops! seems I'm into theologizing mode and this is not the theology section.

 

Yeah that bitch sounds like a tyrant. Good thing you stood up to her. Be prepared for more of the same.

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By most people's standards we're all devil worshipers. So what? At least I don't go to some building and actively kiss his ass, give money to his cause and fuck people over literally in his name. If not actively worshiping one dick head equates to passively worshiping another then I guess I'm guilty.

 

The only problem I see with PP's situation is I sure hope her boyfriend is backing her on this because if he's really a momma's boy then her life is going to be shit and I'd have to advise her to move along. Nothing worse than having someone nodding approval while you're standing there but not really backing you when it counts. Momma could be right when she said she controls him. You just may not have woken up to that realization yet.

 

mwc

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I wish my sons could find a nice devil worshiping girl to settle down with. The only ones they seem to find are jesus lovers with 3 kids before they're 20 y/o. The last girlfriend my 23 y/o son had broke up with him because he wouldn't go to church. All I can say is Hail Satan! :fdevil:

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ME: "Fuck you, you sick twisted bitch. Go to hell." (I literally said these words.)

 

Hey, maybe I do worship the devil after all.

 

Hahahhahahaa! Hail Satan dark sister!

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I wish my sons could find a nice devil worshiping girl to settle down with. The only ones they seem to find are jesus lovers with 3 kids before they're 20 y/o. The last girlfriend my 23 y/o son had broke up with him because he wouldn't go to church. All I can say is Hail Satan! :fdevil:

 

IT'S DARKSIDED!!!!!!!

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Sorry you had to put up with that old delusional bat's bullshit Pandapirate.

 

As for devil worship? Weell I don' worship ol' splitfoot, but I screw so many of his daughters, I always smell like sulfur and brimstone! HAW HAW HAW!!

 

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HER: "You were baptised at church and you are supposed to go to Church!!!"

ME: "Fuck you, you sick twisted bitch. Go to hell." (I literally said these words.)

Well,that wasn't very polite... :rolleyes:

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When spouse and I got married we got the same thing from his batshit insane little sister.

 

She flipped a bitch when we wouldn't change the wedding date to suit her schedule. That started a rather heated phone conversation wherein she went off on him and gave him both barrels. We were pagans at the time and she went on a big tirade about how we were Devil worshippers and we were going to hell, yadda yadda yadda...

 

Funny thing is, spouse's sister is a convert to Judaism, so it was a little weird hearing this evangelical fundy rant come out of her mouth. No problem, though - spouse just shot back with something like "Oh yeah?? Well you're Jewish, so you killed Jesus!"

 

I think she hung up on him after that. :cunn:

 

Some relatives are just out of their fucking minds. Not much one can do about it. Other'n fuck with their heads. :wicked:

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I don't know what age you were when baptized but that is the HUGE problem I have with infant baptism. I saw it once. And in my opinion it should be made illegal. NO ONE should have the right to make vows of life commitment on the behalf of another human being as is done in infant baptism. Believer's baptism, no matter how young and naive, at least allows the individual to remember that it happened and the reasons for it...But this isn't the theology section.

 

I agree, but people will kick and scream if you make it illegal, and they'll just take the religion underground like it is in foreign countries where it's illegal. The rich people will find a new religious fad if it is made a hassle to practice Christianity, but left to themselves without the voices of liberal Christians to moderate them, the fundies will become fundier and possibly start breeding homegrown terrorism. I'd rather have religion stay out in the open, where at least we know what's going on.

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I think the Roman Empire fell to pieces around 600 CE/AD. One of my profs said the terrible beliefs about hell developed in medieval times and were not present in the NT. Was it Dante's painting that brought it to its fullest manifestation with devils and pitch-forks and pits of fire? Fundies say the liberal Christians just don't want to believe in hell, so it's next to impossible to know if the profs really are giving an unbiased perspective.

 

My understanding is that the hellfire and brimstone that we think of as hell was an invention of Dante. Prior to that, hell was seen as a very cold place because it was cut off from gawd.

 

You can always turn the table around when the fundamentalists say that you are a Satan worshiper and or deceived by Satan by taking the deistic Satanist thinking by calling God the devil and Satan as God. Satan/Lucifer--since the two are pretty much interchangeable these days--was our original creator god and Yahweh got jealous and usurped the role as god. You can go to The Joy of Satan for more points.

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