LastKing Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 The main reason why I stop supporting the war was for a freind. One of the big main reasons why I frist turn my back on Christianty was for this freind. The main reason why I left behind my goupe of fundy frinds was becasue they were trash talking this girls religon. I went from being a heavy duty war supporting republican to a anti-war anit-bush and anti-fundamentialst actavist. I changed my life for her and I defended her. I have been trying to find for the last year so I could tell her I was sorry for anything and everything I said that may of offended her in our last meeting and that I have always cared for her and her famliy. I found her. She rejected me. She was talking to other members of my famliy but She cut them off. Along with me. from what it looks like it because I am not of her religon(the one I was defending from my Christian freinds) or country. She wont talk to me. She wont answer me She wont even acknowlege me I am heart broken right now. I am not kiding. I went though hell and back (liertaly) for this girl. I was shuned by my old christian freinds becasue of her but I stood up for her. I told them she was a nice girl. I turned my back on everything I use belive for her. She was the reason why I chaned and she wont even talk me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 LastKing, I am so sorry that you've had to go through this. I don't know what to offer you except to hope you find some comfort in knowing that others care. Take care of yourself. Hugs, noob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 On a similar note, my best friend who i have known for nearly 20 years threw me out to the trash when he i told him i was an atheist. In the course of our friendship, we did it all. He needed anything, i was there. I helped him move time and again, gave him money when he didn't have any, drove him here and there. I did everything for him. Our friendship was the stereotypical friendship you see in movies and read about in books. But in an instant, he threw it all away simply because i had different beliefs than him. Beliefs that i didn't try to force on him or shove in his face. But regardless, he treats me like the plague now. He never calls or comes to visit anymore, and when i call him and try to set up a time to go out and grab a bite to eat or something, he says no. He won't even let me past his front porch. Although, he probably won't even let me get that far now. It is painful and sad. But over the past few months i have managed to life my life. I'd rather still have him as my best friend than not, but what is, has to be. I'm not going to forsake the truth and all that i know is right just to appease him or anyone for that matter. Peace will come to you Lastking, it may take some time and it may seem like it won't, but believe me, it does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoo Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 The reason is different, but the result is the same. I know where you are LastKing, and I know it really fucking sucks. I can't give you much assurance, because I'm not very far through it myself, but I can empathize. I know that's not much for that kind of pain, but hang in there. *hug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but if your life changes weren't for YOU then they weren't worth doing. You can't change FOR someone else. That said, be patient. She may come around. However, she may not. Live your life for YOU, not for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curious Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but if your life changes weren't for YOU then they weren't worth doing. You can't change FOR someone else. That said, be patient. She may come around. However, she may not. Live your life for YOU, not for her. I agree with this. Many of the issues I have today are due to doing things for OTHERS...things they needed/wanted me to do to be accepted and loved. You have to want to change for you. It's lonely and often painful but I have heard that when you reach the end of the tunnel it will have been worth it. I'm sorry your friend has turned on you, but humans are complicated creatures and maybe she too is going through something. We all must walk our own path. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastKing Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 I calm my self down now. frist of all thanks for the kind words secoend I am sorry for the rant. Its just that this is one of the biggist fueds I had with my Christian freinds. Should I be freinds with a girl who was Muslim. I known her all my life and our famliys have always been good freinds. Things got frist shaky with me and Christainty becasue my Christain freinds made it very clear they did not like her before they got to know her. Every day they made a little anti-mulsim rant knowing that I had a close freindship with one since I was 5. She was my proof that they were wrong. I defended her, try to tell them she was a nice girl and we got into fights over it. This girl is a very inporataint part to my deconversin story. Her Sister was almost killed in the cross fires of the wars between Isreal and Lebaodon. In respones I frist made a prayer request for her sister saftey on one Christian website. The request was shuned in faovor of the safty of Isreal. A mounth later I did not hear from her and I did not know of the fate of the sister. (She alright BTW) At the same time my Christain counlser told me that God was on the side of the Isrealis and that it was in Gods plan that people of Lebadaon would die. I was horrifed that she told me this and started to relize my Counsler was trying to pull me into a cult. I was still scared for the safty of my freinds sister So I turn to my good christian Freinds to make a prayer request in her honor. I ask for a simply prayer for world peace. They rejected it saying we need to prayer for our enemerys defeat and Salvation. I was so angery that this was said and all I could think about was my freinds sister nearly getting killed as she watches labanease civlains die at hands of Islreai soldiers. So we got into a fight over it that lead to more fights till finaly I was kick out of the group. After that I still had thought of how the Christains wanted to treat this old freind of mine so I left the pro-war goupes and started to join the anti-war movent now that I been more infomred about the Religous right. I also at some point wanted to join groups that would help bring peace with people of all religons which is why I wanted to get over the gurdge with Christainty. I thought about my last meeting with this freind and I thought I was in the wrong. So I wanted to apologised to her. But now she cut off all contack with me and my famliy and it was just revield to me that its becasue I am a white uneducated non-muslim American. I rejected religon and goverment for her but she could not do the same for me. I can see my war crave Christian freinds smiling saying "we told you so" right now. I am giving you guys more details because this is a big chunk on why I am here. A little on why I Left the religon. So this could help you understand why blow up last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 That's a rough story. I'm just thinking that you think that both sides played you. So now that you're free from all of them what do you think? Xianity? Islam? Something else? Nothing? War good? War bad? These choices are all yours to make now. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but if your life changes weren't for YOU then they weren't worth doing. You can't change FOR someone else. That said, be patient. She may come around. However, she may not. Live your life for YOU, not for her. I have to agree with this. Any changes you make in your life should be for you. *Hugs* It does suck though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoo Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 If nothing else, I think you did the right thing, the standing up for her and prayer requests and such. And you were in with a particularly nasty group of Christians (in my experience, anyway). I grew up in churches that would be considered fundamentalist, but they still would have respected your request (though of course adding a prayer for her salvation in the process). Losing your friend sucks (and I have no advice on that, though the reason you have may be due to pressure on her from someone else), but losing that particular group of people is probably ultimately good for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastKing Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 That's a rough story. I'm just thinking that you think that both sides played you. So now that you're free from all of them what do you think? Xianity? Islam? My reply to that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox4PlpUYbp4 Something else? Nothing? War good? War bad? These choices are all yours to make now. mwc well I guess I have a lot to think about now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 The first time someone excises you from their life based solely on beliefs is always the worst. I know only too well how much it sucks to lose friends like that, but I also know it eventually gets better. Hang in there, King. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 I have only lost one friend like that. She was on Live Journal and we were friends when I deconverted and blogged about it. IMO if someone decides they no longer want to be in your life because of religious differences, they aren't a true blue friend. But it does completely and totally suck. *Hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastKing Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 Okay this is just me thinking out load now. I already have alot angery and Eraly I said had I wanted to start forgving The Christians in my life who hurt me becasue it was not helping me. I cant let this destract me. So, I forgive her. She does not want to be freinds, fine. I forgvie her. The reason is because I dont want to hold on to the anger and in a stange sense I still owe her thanks for at least being a figure that help me escape the cult. If It was not for the fact that I simply knew her I dont think the people in my life would have been exposed for what they really are. Seconed, I have enoughf angery as it is and I want less, not more. Thrid, inspite of the fact she not the same person I remember anymore She was still a famliy freind and there was a time I was not that much better then how she is acting now. Forth, If she changes her mind I dont want to do to her what she just did to me and simply cut her off with with out giving her a chances. I was actully hoping I could eran her forgivnss for things said and done So I my as well be open to the to other way around. But I am not going to sit and wait for that day. If that happens that would be great but at this point I really doudt it. I am just going to move on with out these people. So this thread will be the last time for a long time I will talk about any of the people envoled in this story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts