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Ex-christian Dating


LastKing
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Do you date Christians?

 

Any one who has read my past posts would know I was looking for a meetup group that was not christian. One of the main reason for this was becasue I need to meet people who are Not Christian. There is a Fundmenatilst Church, A Bathptist Church, Morrmon Church, Pentcalol and JW Chruch right ware I live. All the Anti-Science, no tolrance for other, I must join them or go to hell types. So as a Result most of the people I know are Christains.

 

Any time I try to find another group (Humanist, UUs, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindus ect) Its eather A. Not avilbale ware I live or B. under the control of the Fundmentalist of that group that I dont want to deal with it either. So what do I do? I really wanted to avoid dating Christian women because I am afraid it wont work out. Most of the Girls I have delt with so far admit that there really into it and I am trying to escape from it. I have met 2 girl so far who are not Christian but the frist one, who was from another religion, I blew it and she is gone now(I really like that girl to and I have been kicking myself every since) The Seconed is an Atheist but I dont really like her. If I keep avoiding Christian Women I pretty much cut my self off from 90% of the poultion. So even when I go to the gym, join a writer groupe or something ware I can meet people in somthing thats not Religious chance are most of them are Going to be Christians.

 

I try to use Ehormney but that did not work. At one point I listed every religion they had to offer expect Christainty. Ranked it as being very inportiant that she was not Christian. Yet still some how all my matchs are Christians.

 

 

So what do I do? Do I wait till I find a girl out side the religion or should I date Christian women. Am I being to harsh? Dose anyone have any advice who's been ware I am?

 

What do you do?

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Unless it's extremely important to you that you find a girlfriend who is a hardcore atheist, you might want to start by differentiating between "Christians" and "Deists", then finding out specifics of what the women you're meeting expect in a relationship.

 

There's no way that as a non-Christian, I would look to date a practicing Christian whose religion was very important to him, unless we were brought together in some other way where I had a long opportunity to observe how tolerant he was. I don't know how old you are or how long you're compelled to stay where you currently live. If you're in school or have the possibility of moving soon, I'd hold out and wait until you can get into a better situation. If you're just interested in dating around for a while, you could look for nominal Christians who aren't interested in more than the social aspect of the church. It's very likely that you'll need to move before finding a group where you really fit in.

 

You say that the non-Christian groups you've tried weren't a good fit for you, but that doesn't mean that every woman in those groups is under the control of the group leader or lockstep in belief with every other member of the group. Why not try to make some friends with individuals in those groups instead of rejecting it wholesale?

 

I think that even though I suggested casual dates with nominal Christians, you should be careful about getting into a more serious relationship with someone who might suddenly decide to return their religion wholeheartedly. When other Christians find out that she's dating a non-Christian, they might put pressure on her to break up with you or convert you. And often enough, people who were living a pretty secular life when they were young consider it their "rumspringa"- a chance to fool around and live their own way before they settle down to a "real" adult life in which they plan to follow their religion more diligently. And when kids come along, I've seen fun party girls who were raised Christians do a complete turn-around and become the submissive SAHM who clings to religion because "the kids need it".

 

OTOH, my boyfriend is a deist and we've been together long enough that I can see that his vague belief in a higher power doesn't affect how he lives (nor does he think it should). I asked him where he would go if he ever felt he had to go back to church, and he said he was closest to a Unitarian. That's something I can live with.

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Here's my advice: move!

 

In Los Angeles (born and raised) and Las Vegas (last several years) I had the opposite problem. Hundreds of thousands of sexy young heathen women, and I couldn't touch a single one because I could only go for a good Christian girl, but they were exceedingly few and far between. It was a vast fucking sea, but I limited myself to a small pond and wasted away some of the best years of my young life as a result. It was one of the biggest reasons I deconverted. I got fucking fed up.

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Gotta tell ya,

 

It may seem like everyone around you is falling in fuzzy love right and left and that you are missing out big time....BUT!!!

 

As lonely as you might feel, being with someone more for the sake of being with someone, and "overlooking" personality and core life differences just so YOU don't have to be alone not only sucks ass in the long run, but is pretty damn selfish as you are not only wasting your own damn time, but your victims...oh...I mean..."sort-of-significant-other's" time as well.

 

Quit listening to the environment's "coupling is the most important thing ever" message. Like religion, it is not only a load of crap, but believing it can and will get you hurt in ways you cannot begin to imagine.

 

Not to mention, so long as "someone" is always around for you to hang on emotionally...when do you ever get to know yourself? The most important time in my life was the 5 year "dry spell" (yeah...5 years...I LIVED...it doesn't kill you) I spent getting to know myself more. Then when someone came along who did not match, I did not leap into their arms grateful for their attention....I brushed the guy off by striking up a conversation with a guy who turned out to be a much better match for me.

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Well, I had no need to talk about religion with the woman,that I'm dating,but she really doesn't seem to be into religion. For example,she's intelligent.

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So what do I do? Do I wait till I find a girl out side the religion or should I date Christian women. Am I being to harsh? Dose anyone have any advice who's been ware I am?

Just bang as many as you can no matter what they believe without getting into a relationship.

 

But watch out because the True Believers will lie about being on birth control and poke holes in your condoms. :) It's what jesus would do.

 

mwc

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As lonely as you might feel, being with someone more for the sake of being with someone, and "overlooking" personality and core life differences just so YOU don't have to be alone not only sucks ass in the long run, but is pretty damn selfish as you are not only wasting your own damn time, but your victims...oh...I mean..."sort-of-significant-other's" time as well.

 

Quit listening to the environment's "coupling is the most important thing ever" message. Like religion, it is not only a load of crap, but believing it can and will get you hurt in ways you cannot begin to imagine.

 

People don't throw the word "wise" around very often. I think it applies to you. It's not an easy thing to break from a strong cultural message like that and decide for yourself what is best.

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Just bang as many as you can no matter what they believe without getting into a relationship.

 

But watch out because the True Believers will lie about being on birth control and poke holes in your condoms. :) It's what jesus would do.

 

mwc is wise, too. :grin:

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I hear you. I live in Cincinnati. Most people here look at you like you are crazy when you say you don't believe or go to church. I'm in the same shoes as you. I've almost lost hope meeting someone...but I'm not giving up. Just not dwelling on it.

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I hear you. I live in Cincinnati. Most people here look at you like you are crazy when you say you don't believe or go to church. I'm in the same shoes as you. I've almost lost hope meeting someone...but I'm not giving up. Just not dwelling on it.

 

 

I can vouch for that. Cincy is firmly in the Belt.

 

It's been a while but things probably haven't changed in the 'Nati. Non-religious women are most likely to be found around the Arts and connected to institutions of higher learning. Or, head to the West Side and find a nominal Catholic girl - almost as good as an atheist!

 

Good luck to both of you!

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florduh you are right. Not much free thinking going on in Cincy. I have met a couple Catholics and it is true that they are as close to an atheist here that I you can find! I'm still roaming around Clifton and other similar areas to find some new minds. But not much luck yet. No wonder you left Cincy!

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No wonder you left Cincy!

 

I had to go to Canton to get a wife!

 

 

Well that gives me hope! I know the more north you go, the more liberal. If I could get a job in Cleveland, I'd probably move there. Hell if I could I'd probably move to Canada!

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I had written off the idea of dating any dude until after college since I'm at a Christian college in the suspenders of the Bible Belt. But then I met this nominal Christian guy who's ok with me being the way I am (I held off on getting too close to him until he knew everything, I'm a big believer in knowing what you are getting into ;)) and I'm ok with him going to church and stuff with his family. It works, but I understand that finding a believer who isn't "zomg! You are going to hell!" is incredibly difficult.

 

 

Don't give up though, atheism is spreading like a cancer all over the US ;)

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I'd fuck a Christian girl even if she was a Pentecostal missionary who spoke loudly in tongues praising the Lard while being rammed by me. In fact, I might even take that as a compliment. :lmao: Just as long as I didn't have to hang around for more than a couple nights in order to get the sugar, and was able to make a clean break without any residual weirdness/damage on either side. I do have a heart, you know. :lmao:

 

Dating? Not unless she was nominal (you know, funerals and weddings, Easter and Christmas) like most Americans outside the Babble Belt are, or so liberal and fuzzy about it that it amounted to basically nil.

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