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Goodbye Jesus

Skewered By Joy

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Guest QuidEstCaritas?

hot sand a gauntlet of fire

a beach by the rocks

grey and black jutting out at sharp angles

rocks against which the hopes I had get dashed

a deep blue comes during the night

an ocean of magnificence white swirls

cresting waves

it is low tide and I walk about

the sand is hot and a gauntlet it is

the day brings a deep green

a threatening green in the ocean

eating the occasional shell fish and bird I manage to live

trapped on a beautiful island I never wanted to be on

looking out at the most beautiful sea imaginable

threatening though it may be

so hard to relate no cause to fight for

and I am alone

there was a crab I couldn't kill and eat

it was old and lame and I keep it and it's my pet

and there is nowhere to go

the most beautiful place I could imagine

the place I never wanted to be in

so free from all pain except one

i am told to accept where I am

and it's said it get's better

and if it doesn't then it's only my fault so it's said

but it's always there, and the island has a small area above where the rocks are

and when the tide comes in and the waves crash at night

i sit and I watch the beautiful moon

i look out across sea and behold a beauty so clear and perfect

only to be reminded during the day of the deep green the threatening green

the shelf drops off away from the island and the water is very deep

no land in sight occasionally boats pass by

manned by people who know how to row the boat through that terrible green sea

manned by people who have a boat because they were taught how to build one

they never come close enough to catch sight of me though

and now I am so hairy i would just as soon be mistaken for a beast

if they ever saw me on that island

but they can't get close enough to see me because it's not what they are interested in

so I keep company by day with a gauntlet of fire and hot sand

by night i keep the company of the moon and her elegance

and the company of the dark blue and it's reassuring menace

somehow i found water there and just enough shelter

and just enough wood to make tools

the driftwood comes in

i have often tried to make a raft with spare driftwood

i came close to succeeding a few days but no one taught me how to tie the knots that i need

i only know what i see from other boats i see on the horizon during the day

during the gauntlet of fire and the terrible green of the menacing sea

such a wonderful view such a painful existence

and I don't rightly know why i deserve such a fate

but this fate is mine and i will never accept it

and i know i will always fight it

but i also know the chances of escaping on my own are slim

i need a rescuer and even though i want that

i don't understand people who don't feel that need

i need to be taken off the island i can never die there

but what is life without the humanity of others

what is life without the comradery of others

the love found in intimacy is what i really want

an emotional teacher a mentor who doesn't want to keep me in the box

the mirage fades in and out of view

the illusion is there the hope for a rescuer

and i can see it so clearly

a long time ago a few men tried to help me get off the island

but instead they along with people who where close but didn't really love me

helped me to build an iron cage

and i was put in the iron cage and i was submerged underneath the terrible green

not far from the island in fact right by it near the shelf

i thought i was going to drown in that cage and it truly was hell

the men who built the cage for me and strapped me in it meant well

the people who where close to me but didn't really love me meant well

but such is life and i can no longer trust the men who would have taught me

to make a boat for myself to stop looking for that rescuer

and now i know that the people who were close never really cared about me

they only cared about how i reflected them

as the terrible green was vast and deep and full of threatening creatures

so was their love shallow and meaningless

they gave up so much for their cause

they set sail in their submarine and every once in awhile i would visit the island only to be submerged next to it

i could never be allowed to sit on it freely

so up would come the submarine and the boatmakers would come

and an iron cage would be made and i would be submerged next to the island until i drowned

then i would be revived and drowned again

but i spent most of the time before that island in a submarine of my own

and i knew that submarine and spent time in that submarine

and such is the difference

between people in boats and people in submarines

the people in boats don't understand the people in submarines

and the people in submarines don't care much for the people in boats

and once i escaped the fleet i managed to surface

and now i sit on the island but it isn't really the island with the iron cage where i was submerged

and the iron cage is nowhere in sight

the mirage of a rescuer offering little comfort

only the night brings comfort with the wind and the warm breeze

the rain and the tumultuous seas

sometimes calm and sometimes rough

and now there it goes again i feel the spray of the ocean

the salt settles on my face and it tastes sweet

reminding me of the gift that the moon will always have for me

the symbol of love the symbol of guidance the symbol of understanding

and the day brings nothing

no intimacy nothing but people i can't relate to

people i can't understand

people who are so distant

the submariners are so ruthless and i am glad i am on an island that only looks like the one i was

submerged next to from time to time in that iron cage

it seems like the cage doesn't matter any more

i never see the submariners and an elite crew they are

going to depths never seen while the people on boats do what they do

oblivious to what goes on in that terrible green

and the submariners don't like the deep blue

they only like that terrible green that hideous green

the ruthless creatures it hides and the adventures they go on

sometimes i wish i could make a boat

and boat with the other people during the day and find a big island with lots of boaters

i could go back to being a submariner and there are those that would understand

but it's so ruthless and i have to be someone i am not

and it's too bad the boatmakers the people that teach one how to make a boat

failed me before

it's so bad they failed me because i cannot trust them

they would have another iron cage and this one i might never escape from

so i will sit on my sand and my feet feel the fire by day

my eyes behold the Terror of that hideous green by day

and the embrace of the moon will cover me by night

and i will marvel in her mysteries and learn the ways of her wisdom


and then the universe fades and i behold she and i in each others' arms

wrapped in the embrace of another dimension

no more boaters no more submarines no more iron cage

and no islands

and there I am with Her

and I go on a journey across the stars through time and dimensions i travel

i become the Journeyman and i leave behind forever the boaters and their islands and the submariners and their cutthroat insincerity

and i hold Her hand while i travel the stars

only stopping to get supplies for the journey

and reality becomes like the pages of a book

they are all pages made of the same material

but the arrangement of letters are different

and now picking the dimensions that i want to visit

i visit multiple worlds places no one could imagine

no boaters or submariners and now i am free

i need only my suit and my journey

and one day i will build the suit and i will travel the stars

and i will leave behind a race destined to destroy itself in savage hypocrisy

and i will hold Her hand and i will travel

and i will behold a face so beautiful that i must cry when i see it

i will be the first journeyman and probably not the last

and She won't rescue me

and She won't guide me

She will be a companion with me on that journey

we will travel far and wide and see many places

and she will step inside of me many times

so many stars to see so many galaxies to behold

so many pages to turn

and each page has something different written on it

than the page before

i will journey through the pages of the cosmos

and i will see what no one has seen

and i will leave behind my island and will no longer see Her in the Sky

i will hold her hand and i will travel

and we will never die

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