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Your Former Stance On Homosexuality?


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I put "other." I turned out to have been not aware of what it meant when my chest hurt when I looked at a beautiful girl, also very good at insta-repressing. I wasn't in the closet because it hadn't occurred to me I was gay. I didn't so much come out as quit denying/repressing all at once.

 

It wasn't really significant to me that I wasn't attracted to any guys, either--I just took it for granted that it was part of being pure/a virgin.

 

...in my defense I'd been in the crazy fundie bubble since kindergarten! Christian school and church.

 

Aaaaaand I thought gays were evil. *shrug*

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Well, I once got a gay guy who made a hard core pass at me to convert. He was weeping bitter tears and everything. I still feel like shit for that.

 

But I chose that I was as pro gay as a xian can be. I thought it was a sin but I also thought that it was no different from any other sin and thought I was as guilty of sinning as they even though I wasn't/am not gay. I was a little creeped out by the idea when I was younger, but had a gay friend in my early 20s who took me to a gay bar. After no one hit on me as I flew healthily under the gaydar it dawned on me that these guys weren't all out to try and molest me and they're all pretty cool so what's the big deal?

 

The last church I ever attended led the anti gay legislation for my state and I gave up church altogether as a result. I found it repugnant. I still called myself an xian for a few more years but never darkened a church door since.

 

Now I love the gays. More often than not they are more interesting and more intelligent than your average straight person and I'm more than comfortable with my own sexuality to not let it ever be an issue with me. I really don't get the hard core anti gay stand some xians take. I think it has a lot to do with discomfort with their own sexuality. The ones that know who they really are don't really think about it much I think.

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My church was fairly conversative about it but they weren't hardcore enough to do street preaching or anything like that. They thought homosexuality was a sin and thought the godless liberals were persecuting them by trying to get gay marriage legalized and destroying the "santicty" of marriage. They believed gay marriage would destroy the children and that AIDs was a punishment from God to send his wrath down on the ebil gays. I was raised to believe homosexuality was a sin and I pretty much went along with it but didn't give the subject much thought until I started to realize I was gay. I went through some up and down periods where sometimes I thought it was ok to be gay but other times I was afraid God was going to send me to hell. At one point I tried to change my sexuality by seeing a psychiatrist at my church who claimed to have been able to make gay people turn straight. Even though I knew there were Christians who accepted gays, I wasn't able to reconcile my faith with my sexuality, and I wasn't finally able to accept my sexuality and that there was nothing wrong with being gay until after I finally deconverted from Christianity.

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Well,I personally didn't care,but actually I can still find a copy of a paper,in which my former pastor bashes homosexuality as an "abomination" and stuff.

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I knew I was supposed to "Hate the sin but love the sinner." So I had a few friends who were gay, and I was truly friends with them. These, however, were Christians were trying NOT to be gay. Silly silly people, we were.

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I didn't really have an opinion on it at that point. My parents taught me that homosexuality is a sin and they believed in the slippery slope argument (that if gays were allowed to marry, then people would be able to marry their relatives, animals, whatever.) I think they also believe in the gay agenda. My dad watches FOX and listens to conservative shock jocks on the radio. I didn't adopt their view. I refused to have an opinion. I knew even then that it was discriminatory and hateful and I didn't know that there was another opinion. Now I believe in gay rights and support gay marriage.

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I bought into most of the Christian crap my parents/church fed me but I never got the whole anti-gay thing. Part of it was probably having guy friends who were gay who I adored. I've always been in to ballet, theatre, and fashion-- and having guys to talk about that stuff with was fun.

 

I was a little more discriminatory towards lesbians. Probably trying to suppres hidden feelings.

 

Now, I think you are attracted to who you are attracted to. I kind of think everyone has the propensity to be gay, it just is suppresed.

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I believed homosexuality didn't exist! The devil put same-sex thoughts in your head and Jesus got rid of them. Thus, even though I was heavily attracted to other guys and thought about them while masturbating, I wasn't gay. In fact, I was just waiting for the woman "God" had chosen for me to walk into my life. God would make sure I fell in love with her.

 

Before anyone gets offended, let me remind you all that I am gay, and that the former views I am about to express shame me. I thought all gay men were ugly (because they went from young weird-looking girlish bottoms to leathery old man tops in less than five years), anti-social (because their fathers were distant and their mothers were domineering), and unable to have normal friendships (because all they wanted was sex--and they hated all women). I also thought many gay men had unusually large... foreheads!

 

I was a walking contradiction, as one of my friends in high school (senior year) told me he thought he was bi and had tried something with another guy. I told him that it wouldn't change our friendship at all--and it didn't. He was quite surprised since he knew how Christian I was. Ameen the Fundie wanted gays to die, but Ameen the liberal, living simultaneously in Ameen's skin, nurtured everyone and looked the other way. By that time, I had already grown used to my diametrically opposed beliefs, as in punk rock is evil and I hate it but punk rock sounds great and I love it.

 

Anyway... Was I ever shocked when I got together with a bunch of people (men and women) from my science fiction club and one of the guys brought his boyfriend. It was still the mid-80s then, so that was kind of daring on his part. Others in the group had already known he was gay, and those of us who hadn't acted cool so that we wouldn't be seen as, well, uncool.

 

I was simultaneously repulsed (because that is what the church had taught me), scared (because I did not want them to think I was gay), and pleasantly surprised (because Tom and Oscar, the couple, were social, normal looking--and even attractive).

 

We were in a rib joint, and Tom had gotten light brown barbecue sauce all over his dark beard. A few people started teasing him about how he was going to have Oscar lick it off in the men's room.

 

And well... Even though I was in my late teens, I didn't realize they were kidding... I wondered why gays liked to lick barbecue sauce off each other's beards! Thank the goddess I didn't ask anyone!!!

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I was in a similar position as Vigile... I thought homosexuality was a sin but no better or worse than any other, and so it didn't affect my friendships at all. I had a few gay friends but I had a hard time reconciling their obviously genuine love with what I thought I believed. It was a bit of a crisis point for me... If Jim and John love each other so much, and nurture each other, and have a healthier relationship than most heteros I know, how can that be sinful? That was a big factor in leading me both out of the church and out of the closet.

 

It was only after I had been away from the church for several years that I finally realized that I was attracted to women as well as men. Yeah, I had mad repression skills, hahaha. :D When I was xian, I thought I was straight as an arrow... how funny is it, then, that my first time having sex was with a woman? ;)

 

But yeah, my church was very anti-gay and I took a lot of shit from people for being so tolerant. I am so glad to have left those days behind me. I'm going to my first pride parade this year.

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Towards the last few years, I was a closeted fundie.

 

After I deconverted I confessed to a close lesbian friend that I had been a fundie but then had deconverted. She was just shocked. "You mean you were staying at my house... and... and...!?" I had to explain that I was deeply closeted and on the brink of walking from it, and surely would have were it not for my fear of the demons being real. She understood.

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I started seriously thinking about and studying homosexuality not long before I stopped believing in God.

 

Before that, I was largely ignorant, and wasn't really exposed to that sort of lifestyle. (Turns out I did know at least one gay person.) I suppose if I was asked I would have said that they are living a sinful life, and that they should turn away from it before they bite the big one. :shrug:

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Can't remember having ever heard anything about homosexuality in any sermon.

 

Ain't German mainstream protestantism lukewarm? :P

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I was never on board with the church's homophobia. I vaguely remember being told it was wrong, but as soon as I found out it was an orientation and not a choice, I rejected that idea and never looked back. The Catholic Church as you probably know is pretty bad about it, but my individual church never really mentioned it.

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Towards the last few years, I was a closeted fundie.

 

After I deconverted I confessed to a close lesbian friend that I had been a fundie but then had deconverted. She was just shocked. "You mean you were staying at my house... and... and...!?" I had to explain that I was deeply closeted and on the brink of walking from it, and surely would have were it not for my fear of the demons being real. She understood.

For some reason, this reminds me of the Broadway musical Avenue Q where Rod comes out as gay to everybody and they're all fine with it, but then he comes out as Republican too and they all start freaking out because the characters were more shocked he was Republican. ^^;;
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My views first started staunchly against it. Then they changed to accept and have no opinion on something that I am not. To now not really caring about any moral idea about it and just believe in complete equal rights and that's all I care about with homosexuality. I figure hey if your gay, that's cool. If your flaming gay, I'm flaming straight and I'll stand by you in a gay pride parade if I would ever witness one.

 

I went to churches who were against it and who was neutral but supporting equal rights.

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Although I heard the "abomination unto the lard" line ad nauseum throughout childhood, I never really could bring myself to hate gays. The first overtly gay man I ever saw was Truman Capote on Johnny Carson. I was fascinated by him, and I'm re-reading "In Cold Blood" now.

It always seemed kind of weird to me: why would gawd make a significant portion of the population gay and then condemn them to hell for feeling that way? Why does gawd care who or how we fuck anyways? A little perverted? Didn't add up, as most of xtianity didn't.

So my votes were: straight as an arrow, Jerry Falwell upbringing, and increasingly accepting from childhood on.

Good poll VC.

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My church being extremely against gay rights was one of the reasons I left it. They were prejudiced against pretty much anyone who wasn't White, Middle Class, Straight, Conservative, and Fundamentalist.

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I don't know what my church's stance on homosexuality was, really. By the time I'd learned it existed, in middle school, I had already stopped going for the most part. I had no idea what homosexuality was for a long time, and when I heard about it, my first thought was, "Why do so many people have a problem with it? I don't see anything wrong. I mean, who could possibly have a problem with this?"

 

Then I found out it was mostly Christians.

 

It was a huge trigger for my deconversion pretty much. I saw the hateful way Christians treated gays and it made me really, really angry, because I'd been taught that we were supposed to love everyone. And then I started seeing everything else that was wrong too...

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I was mildy against gay people growing up, just because the stance of other fundies around me. I'm sure the churches I went to disapproved, but I can't recall them ever really talking about it. I grew up in a small town in Alaska, so I think most people just figured we didn't have any of dem dare gheyz. Once I was mostly done with Christianity, I didn't really have an opinion one way or another. Then, I caught an Oprah show about gay marriage, and it followed the lives of an older gay couple and I saw how in love they were with each other. I was just like, "Those guys look in love. How is that any different than anyone else?" I was pro-gay from then on. Not that you have to be in love to have gay sex, but I just hadn't really thought about the issue much until then, and then, it all just clicked with me. Once I had actually seen gay people and thought about it, Christianity's stance just seemed stupid.

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I answered "Other" on the first question. I knew I was gay, so it wasn't a matter of whether I liked or hated gays. Instead, it was a matter of whether or not I thought homosexuality was a sin.

 

On that, I initially accepted what my Southern Baptist church taught, which was that it was a pretty bad sin. That resulted in a lot of self-loathing and repeated appeals to god to cure me.

 

Over time, I began to listen to other christians who said that the bible didn't really ban homosexuality, it was really banning temple prostitutes, etc. That was nice to hear, but it didn't really ring true. The bible seemed pretty clear that homosexuals should be killed and they weren't going to heaven after the sentence was executed. So, for the majority of the time I was christian I believed homosexuality was very bad.

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Well when I went to the Jehovah's Witness meetings they were ok with gays as long as they weren't a "practising gay" I didn't think to ask what was meant by that but I'm assuming that meant that they had to be celibate?.

 

and as for my views well I'm now ashamed to say that I was pretty homophobic back then but then again even though my family weren't JWs they did agree that homosexuality was a sin and that it was their choice to be like that.

 

even after I left I still held some of them views. However what changed my mind funnily enough was when I was looking at dystopia novels on wikipedia and I looked at the book The Wanting Seed by Anthony Burgess which is about when the world becomes so overpopulated that the government discriminates against heterosexuals and promote homosexuality to try and control the birth rate. Well that got me thinking that if that did happen for real there would an uproar and yet this is happening now expect homosexuals are being discriminated against instead of heterosexuals and yet hardly anyone is speaking up for them!.

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I've been reviewing the literature. What I've discovered is that there are two "opposite pole" camps: gay rights and the Christian Right. The two positions are incommensurable.

 

However, most Americans are stuck in the middle. They are ambivalent. Were I to generalize the average American here, here's what I would say: 1. the average American isn't too fond of homosexuals or homosexuality; 2. however, the average American is not fond of discrimination. And a very slight majority of Americans are less fond of discrimination than they are of gays.

 

The other thing I've discovered is that somebody is more likely to see homosexuality as "not wrong" (as opposed to "wrong") if they believe that homosexuality is biological, or at least partly biological, in origin. So basically, if being gay is like being black -- you're born that way and you can't do shit about it, whether you're Ted Haggard or Michael Jackson -- then there's as much justification for discriminating against gays as there is against being black.

 

Ironically, many segregationists tried to use the "biological" argument to justify segregation, and the integrationists had to lean on abstract civil rights arguments, and the latter strategy won out. At any rate, after a while the science showed that the racialists were full of shit all along anyways. In the case of the gay rights, on the other hand, the biological argument is probably going to be their ace-in-the-hole for the battle over average, ambivalent Americans.

 

Another opinion poll I saw said that the "biological origin" variable was the second strongest in predicting who would see homosexuality as "not wrong", and that the strongest was that the respondent felt that Christian Right arguments against homosexuality were stupid.

 

The best way to defeat the Christian Right isn't to oppose them and their arguments directly but to make middle-ground ambivalent average Americans see the light. And if the Christian Right attempts to discredit the science that shows gayness is biological (albeit there's nothing like a consensus on it just yet, so it might be a while before it's rock solid, if it ever is), all you gotta do is tell people that these are the same dumbfucks that try to promote Intelligent Design/Creationism.

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Oddly enough, my church didn't dwell on the homosexual issue. It was of course, seen as a sin, but so was lust, abortion, pride, etc. All sin was equally bad in the eyes of God. We never got any specifically anti-gay sermons. Go figure.

 

We were supposed to hate the Pope instead. I still do, but for different reasons.

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