PocketAces Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Been awhile since I have posted here. Life is changing to say the least. Lost my job, and in the process of moving. My father and I have had a up and down relationship since 1990. I have mentioned it before I believe in other posts. We had a huge fight yesterday. I asked him for some help financially even tho I hated to ask him. It ended up a blow out. So I received an email when I woke up today him saying things along the lines that he is tired of my bullshit reasons for having a hard time opening up to him, what happened with my job, and called me a communist simply because there's a quote I like of Karl Marx's and saying that I need to try prayer again especially if I want to get anywhere with him and think about my family. Now, I understand the stress. I am not mad at him. Yet, I cannot help but feel like, what the fuck is going on? I admit I made some mistakes at my last job that cost me to lose it. I now have a good shot at getting a job where I am moving too. I admited to all my issues that I have been having for years with him and I and not being able to open up. I just can't help but feel offended to hear that it is all "bullshit". I don't belittle him and how he treated my mother. I don't belittle the fact that he is on his 5th wife, or the face he used to grow drugs in our family home. I don't belittle all the shit he did when I was kid that required the police to calm everything down. I do not belittle the fact we have foughten for years since, yet regardless, I am surprised still to hear him call my side bullshit (not meaning the atheist side). Then the ultimatum. I don't want to feel the "persecuted" card here. I am trying not to. I am just shocked to hear this type of ultimatum. I have put a hold on his help right now because of this and to wait to be discussed about it next week once we both have cooled down. I don't feel right to accept the help at this present time. I'll be able to pull through and then in a month start over. It will be rough, but it seems more right than to accept the help on an ultimatum motive such as this. I explained to him about communism thing. I am not a communist. I explained to him and apologized for everything. Even did it on the phone yesterday when we blew up at each other. Apologized for raising my voice. I did not tho and will not apologize for my lack of faith and belief. I explained it loud and clear and even asked him questions to show my point. Just amazing how this issue of "faith"/"religion" in a way can really tear blood apart. Thanks for reading my vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PocketAces Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 I apologize to the forum. Can this be moved to Rants? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gypsy79 Posted April 6, 2009 Share Posted April 6, 2009 Sorry you're dealing with this, Aces. Sounds like you are right about not accepting his help. Many times family loans and/or helpful gifts just end up making relationships worse, even when childhood and religious problems aren't involved. Eeeek! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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