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Goodbye Jesus

The Ex-christian Life And Family(venting And Thanks For Reading)


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Been awhile since I have posted here. Life is changing to say the least. Lost my job, and in the process of moving.


My father and I have had a up and down relationship since 1990. I have mentioned it before I believe in other posts. We had a huge fight yesterday. I asked him for some help financially even tho I hated to ask him. It ended up a blow out.


So I received an email when I woke up today him saying things along the lines that he is tired of my bullshit reasons for having a hard time opening up to him, what happened with my job, and called me a communist simply because there's a quote I like of Karl Marx's and saying that I need to try prayer again especially if I want to get anywhere with him and think about my family.


Now, I understand the stress. I am not mad at him. Yet, I cannot help but feel like, what the fuck is going on? I admit I made some mistakes at my last job that cost me to lose it. I now have a good shot at getting a job where I am moving too. I admited to all my issues that I have been having for years with him and I and not being able to open up. I just can't help but feel offended to hear that it is all "bullshit". I don't belittle him and how he treated my mother. I don't belittle the fact that he is on his 5th wife, or the face he used to grow drugs in our family home. I don't belittle all the shit he did when I was kid that required the police to calm everything down. I do not belittle the fact we have foughten for years since, yet regardless, I am surprised still to hear him call my side bullshit (not meaning the atheist side).


Then the ultimatum. I don't want to feel the "persecuted" card here. I am trying not to. I am just shocked to hear this type of ultimatum. I have put a hold on his help right now because of this and to wait to be discussed about it next week once we both have cooled down. I don't feel right to accept the help at this present time. I'll be able to pull through and then in a month start over. It will be rough, but it seems more right than to accept the help on an ultimatum motive such as this.


I explained to him about communism thing. I am not a communist. I explained to him and apologized for everything. Even did it on the phone yesterday when we blew up at each other. Apologized for raising my voice. I did not tho and will not apologize for my lack of faith and belief. I explained it loud and clear and even asked him questions to show my point. Just amazing how this issue of "faith"/"religion" in a way can really tear blood apart.


Thanks for reading my vent.

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I apologize to the forum. Can this be moved to Rants?

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Sorry you're dealing with this, Aces. Sounds like you are right about not accepting his help. Many times family loans and/or helpful gifts just end up making relationships worse, even when childhood and religious problems aren't involved. Eeeek!

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