deepblue Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 Hi, I left the church about 6 years ago and have only made 2 or 3 friends since then (only 1 in my home town of 100,000 people). My whole family (I'm single) are Christians, including extended family, and all go to church, so I'm very much the "black sheep". For a while I tried to get to know other people, e.g. by being part of a walking club or 20s & 30s group. However, I wasn't keen on going each week and found it hard to relate to anyone or make any real connections. Eventually I gave up and now spend most of my time alone. I don't know why but I have virtually no desire to meet people or make friends, maybe I am schizoid or something. Last Sunday evening I went to an Anglican church nearby for the first time in years. The service was crap, but before it started I got talking to an elderly man (well, he was only about 77). After about 10 minutes I asked him if he considered himself a Christian or an agnostic or atheist. Well that really shut the conversation down, I had to ask the question a couple of times and he claimed he couldn't hear. I left straightaway afterwards, as I couldn't be bothered to hang around and try talking to people. Why is it that churches are supposed to be places where you can find people who will accept you for who you are, but instead it seems to be the opposite. And on the other hand, most "worldy" people who have never been to church seem to only be interested in going to parties and will talk about anything except religion or philosophy. What happened to all the people "in the middle" and any suggestions where I can find them?! I'm concerned that if I continue like this I will regret it at the end of my life, but I can't work up any desire to socialize. thanks for reading, Jon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willybilly30 Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Most people were I live don't interest me either. Most people I find offline don't want to talk about any religion besides christianity. I don't think your skitzoid I think most people in your town just bore the shit out of you...atleast it's that way with me. I got alot of interets and my idea of fun isn't what other peoples are around here. That's one thing I like about the internet you can find people that share your interests but, meeting people offline is pretty difficult. Like on this group most people are on the other side of the united states or way at the bottom of the state I am in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathlene Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 franknhonest, I have pretty much the same problem as you. I have very few friends, and I find it extremely difficult to relate to people. When I was a xtian I dreaded going to church because it meant I had to talk to people. I always feel guilty that I am not 'out there' trying to make friends. I was always a bit of a loner as a child too. I had one very close friend and thats the way its been all my life. Im not good on having many friends, but I do have 1 or 2 really close ones. So I guess if you are lonely and desperate then try and do something about it. I should take a bit of my own advice here too, but I know I wont, lol. Or if you are ok with having few social areas then just accept thats the way you are and don't try and squish yourself into what you think you should be. I dont find churches to be a very friendly atmosphere at all. To me it is just one big cliquey area where you have to be on the in crowd to talk with people. In fact there were many times when I went to church and no-one would talk to me. Now I take some of that blame too because I didnt exactly dazzle people either with my presence,lol. But nevertheless churches can be very lonely places. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepblue Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 Thanks for the replies. I do have a few close friends (one from my old school, one from university days and one who lives in this town lol) and get along well without any more. You are right about churches being cliques. I think it's a sign they don't really believe what they think they do. I've just got back from a w/e with my parents. Most of the time it was OK. We get on well although they know I have little or no interest in Christianity or church anymore. best wishes, Jon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraphicsGuy Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you're happy with your own company and 1 or 2 good friends, there's nothing wrong with that. If you find that ever changes, then get out there and be social. But if you don't WANT to, don't make yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepblue Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 Thanks Phanta - some good ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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