Happy Easter...

[Guest]

So I'm going on a walk like 5 mins ago and I get a text from a minor acquaintance of mine who knows I am not only an Atheist but I actively despise xtianity that reads "Happy easter!".

 

I ignored it for a bit but I decided not to let her ruin my day by reminding me of how people view human sacrifice as a virtuous thing. So I shoot back "Please do not wish me a happy anything. You know I hate that religion with every fiber of my being".

 

As I'm typing this post my phone buzzes and I get back "Wow. Are you mad at me for some unknown reason?"

 

I just replied with "No. I just hate it when people who know I am an Atheist wish me a happy xtian anything. Its insulting. How'd you think I'd take that? Keep your religion to yourself please."

 

We'll just have to see how she responds to that!

[Guest Marty]

So I get back "I'm sorry I didn't MEAN to offend. I've been saying it all day and I'm a little drunk too!"

 

Fair enough. So I reply "LOL!, no worries! I'm a little drunk too!"

 

But then I get "you shouldn't take your religion so seriously hon. I dont take mine so seriously"

 

Well, there is just way too much to say about that in a text, so I decided on the quickest way to reply with "I dont have one. Its all horseshit"

 

I get back "I know" so I'm just leavng it at that before she really does start to piss me off for real.

 

Last year I started the policy of confronting anyone who said happy easter to me. I was at work last easter, and I just started asking everyone, "What makes you think I give a shit about easter?" I loved the looks I would get back! A friend halfway through the day gave me a button to wear that said "god, protect me from your followers" and that actually stoped the well wishers dead in their tracks. A few people I could see were going to say it, but then read my button and walked away!

[Amethyst]

I just ignore it. I look at it as a cultural thing, like Christmas, that isn't going to go away until we either blow ourselves up with nuclear bombs or aliens take over the planet, whichever comes first.

[florduh]

Just yesterday a Muslim storekeeper wished me a happy Easter. I said, "Thanks, but that's not MY holiday either."

[Brother Jeff]

Yeah, I just ignore it too. A few of my Facebook friends have posted about Easter with status messages like "He is risen!" and "let's remember the reason for this day" and shit like that. It is mildly annoying, but I just do my best not to let it get to me. Nobody in my family is religious, but we still wish each other a happy Easter even though to us it's just a holiday with no religious significance. And I still wish my Christian friends a great day today even though I'm not celebrating it with them because I know their beliefs are bullshit.

[Guest Marty]

You all are better people than I then. It really gets my goose when people who know I'm an ex-C still wish me happy holidays. It's as if they are not respecting my decision to leave the cult. I want, no I need to get away from this shit, but I can't. It is everywhere.

[Raul]

Yeah,you shouldn't take your religion too seriously.

[Japedo]

I had this discussion a few day's ago with some friends. I got invited to attend a few Easter Bashes today. Why are you going?!?! a friend of mine asked in a demanding tone, ........you're not even Christian!!!! Really? I said, I didn't realize it was a only Xtain holiday???........ you see I call it Ishtar, it celebrates the goddess of Fertility............... Just what do you think the eggs and bunny represent that you buy your kids for Easter morning?

 

 

It's a Kodak moment for sure ----- > <----------

 

 

:lmao:

 

Then everyone started laughing... Yeah it was jabbing and joking back and forth, but I got my point across, and left them with nothing to say. I'm sure it's going to fester in their brains, why? Cuz it's true! LOL

 

I used to be like you Marty, I had a huge Chip on my shoulder about ANY dogma day's...and became angry and offended. I was raw, and hurt. I've learned that people would rather laugh then bicker. The pain that was done to me will never be made up for, but there came a point in my life that I didn't want to effect those I love negatively. The Dogma has already taken part of my life, why allow it to take anymore? So much anger and hostility, fear and dread. I hate thoes feeling as much as I hate the dogma that helps spawn them. It comes with time I suppose, everyone copes in different ways. Your anger IS warranted, please don't misunderstand.. I'm not trying to be at all dismissive of your anger, just pointing out another way to look at it is all! People that love you where thinking about you and just had a reason to pick up the phone or type you a message, Next year type back Happy Ishtar day to you too!

[Anti-Christian]

Today's not Easter to me!

[Kyle]

I told a couple of people that know my true beliefs..."Happy Zombie Day"

[Guest Marty]

I used to be like you Marty, I had a huge Chip on my shoulder about ANY dogma day's...and became angry and offended. I was raw, and hurt. I've learned that people would rather laugh then bicker. The pain that was done to me will never be made up for, but there came a point in my life that I didn't want to effect those I love negatively. The Dogma has already taken part of my life, why allow it to take anymore? So much anger and hostility, fear and dread. I hate thoes feeling as much as I hate the dogma that helps spawn them. It comes with time I suppose, everyone copes in different ways. Your anger IS warranted, please don't misunderstand.. I'm not trying to be at all dismissive of your anger, just pointing out another way to look at it is all! People that love you where thinking about you and just had a reason to pick up the phone or type you a message, Next year type back Happy Ishtar day to you too!

 

I really wish I could get over this. In reality it seems my anger is getting stronger and stronger. I started seeing a therapist, but she was a xtian and dismissed everything the church did with the usual "that was only the brand your were in. Mine is different" bullshit response so I had to dump her. But I can't afford to see another one on my own dime so now I'm back to trying to deal with this myself, and that pisses me off some more. I'm stuck in a vicious circle.

 

I left the church over 15 years ago, yet it still has such a hold on me. Its more than my anger. I just got done reading "jesus, interrupted" and am now currently reading "misquoting jesus". I can't seem to let this go, and when I do manage to forget about the fucking church at times, some xtian fuck will text me happy fucking easter!

 

How can I put this behind me and move on when it is constantly shoved in my face?!?!?

[Vigile]

How can I put this behind me and move on when it is constantly shoved in my face?!?!?

 

Well, you're probably going to end up without many friends if you can't. It doesn't sound to me as if this girl was proselytizing you or that she is even a serious xian. It sounds like she was just remembering her friend on a cultural holiday and that it didn't go any deeper than that. I don't mean to offend you, it's just that from where I sit it was you that blew this into something that it wasn't. She could have just as easily been saying happy fourth of July, happy Halloween, Ground Hog Day, fill in the blank.

 

If someone gets in your face with religion it's one thing, but if it's just an off hand remark based on cultural norms I think it would be a lot healthier for you to just recognize it as such and let it go. Either that, or move to a new country.

[Guest Marty]

This was not just a minor friend I have coffee with though. I have had many, many discussions on how much I hate xtainity with her. She is a CINO, and I call her on it every time I see her, we discuss it all the time, even though I am not good friends with her. And she may say she doesn't take it seriously, but she does. She always brings it up, not me, and she always says the dumbest things about it, such as she doesn't listen to man, she reads the bible. But she doesn't read it, because I am always mentioning things that she says is not in the bible, then I take it out and show her, then she tries to explain it away. She is a typical clueless, self-absorbed american CINO, which is why she is a minor acquaintance of mine.

 

This is that same woman that told me she went to Benny Hinn and he cured her of drug addiction. She told me this as she was passing the bong to me during a herbal session!

 

Because of the fact that she (and others in my life) know I am an Atheist that actively despises xtainity, I consider little "harmless" things like what she did akin to asking a gay man every time you see him when he is going to find a nice girl, settle down, get married and have children. It is insulting and demeaning when people know what my emotional triggers are and they push them anyway because their religion tells them to spread the fucking word.

 

P.S. But I do not want to feel like this. I want to be able to ignore it. But like I said earlier, it seems that I get angrier and angrier every time it happens. Not when the cashier says "god bless you" to me if I sneeze. Not if someone I barely know wishes me a "merry xmas". Only when people who know who I am decide to ignore who I am and pretend I'm still one of them. And I do want to move to another country, and have looked into it somewhat, but not full on. I'd rather just find an area with better people and move there, which is what I am trying to do now.

[Guest Marty]

I think the reason I'm getting so mad at this one is because I feel so alone. I just had to dump my therapist because even someone who's job is to help you out of your funk can not separate reality from fantasy, even for one hour a week to help me out of this. She said she'd help me find another therapist that could help me, but like most things xtians say, it rang completely hollow. That was 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard a thing from her, even though she promised to call me by the end of that week. I've explained before the situation I was able to see her in and how I cannot afford to see anyone in my area myself.

 

I am also currently back hanging out with a CINO girl I've had on and off again thing with for over a decade. There are some deep sparks between us, yet she is the definition of a CINO. Premarital sex, swearing, drinking and pot, you name it. She is a typical child of the 21st century. But come Sunday morning, I am the evil one for staying in bed and not going to church. We've had a lot of talks over the years, and she is very tormented by the xtian meme. She sometimes feels very guilty for having sex outside of marriage, or getting drunk, whatever. I've tried to explain how sex is completely natural and the church invented the disease so they could sell you the cure, but she doesn't seem to get it. Actually she doesn't seem to want to get it, but she is torn up by the cognitive dissonance very deeply. We always fade away at some point because I just can not deal with it after awhile.

 

I really feel like the reality of xtianity is just a bad nightmare. This is the most fucked up, ridiculous, illogical belief system ever devised, and it has so much power. Not just over the individual mind, but this country as a whole, its leaders, and indeed the world. Whereas there may not be empirical evidence that disproves a god concept, one can make a very good empirical case for xtainity being a completely invented religion, yet no one listens.

 

There is so much more to what I'm feeling right now, but I have to get to work right now. These 2 points were just what I've been thinking about this weekend.

[Ouroboros]

I was out biking, and a runner said "Happy Easter" when I passed, and I replied in same. After all, Easter is an old pagan tradition which was stolen by Christianity, and I have no beef with the old fertility traditions. Actually, I think we should reinstate the old traditions of celebrating the goddess Eastre, and the birth of a successful year, and I think we should do it with lots of food, binge drinking and sex-orgies. Then it would be a really happy holiday.

[Japedo]

Hey Marty,

 

I wish I had some easy words for you, unfortunately I don't. Nothing about what I'm going to say is going to be easy... nothing. The sad truth is, we can not control what others say, what IS in our control tho is A) How we handle it, and B ) who we talk to. If some of these friends are saying things just to be a pest, or to deliberately push buttons.... cut off any and all contact with them. Don't respond to messages, don't respond to phone calls, keep walking when you see them they will eventually get the hint. Or just be upfront and ask them to stop contacting you for awhile/forever. Friends don't torment friends.

 

It could be on one end of it, it's done as lite jabbing because they feel comfortable with you and don't realize the degree of pain you're in.

 

Then on the other hand, In saying that you call her out for being a CINO every chance you get, it could be that you're pushing her buttons as well. Perhaps she's offended and returns the insult with her own jab. In any case it's not healthy. It's a vicious cycle, It is in a sense being just a disrespectful to her as she is to you. A tit for tat if you will.

 

Anger is a very powerful emotion, it will eat you up and push everyone away that cares for you if you allow it. Why not take a break from the anti-religious books, information and so forth for a few weeks? In other words stop feeding the anger. Jump into another activity, cause, sport or something that is totally not related to your pain. Get your mind onto something healthier, at least for a few weeks. Come back to it when you can control the anger and it's not controlling you. It's tantamount to taking 5, and there's nothing wrong with thinking about other things. Easier said then done I know. I don't know your interests but I'm sure there's clubs and organizations you can join. Have fun with something, laugh a little, focus on something else.

 

People are people no matter where you go, no matter where you live there will be fundys, there will be jerks and there will be people who generally don't care what you believe and who are sweet. It's human nature. Easter, as Vigil said is part of the culture, focus on the cultural part and ignore the buybull part. You can't control the culture but you can control how you react to it. I wish you much luck with this very difficult time and hope you can find some sort of closure soon.

 

Best of luck!!

[R. S. Martin]

Marty, I think I can identify with the deep hurt. It seems similar to when I see a horse and buggy or hear the clip-clop. The hurt and abuse goes so deep that any association with the old community can trigger profound emotion and bring on the black clouds of depression. The best thing for me was to get totally away from it. I've heard the same from others. So I think you're on the right track to find another place to live where people don't know you. There you can "start over," so to speak.

[GraphicsGuy]

I learned the hard way this weekend to not get into an argument about religion through texting...

[PandaPirate]

Just yesterday a Muslim storekeeper wished me a happy Easter. I said, "Thanks, but that's not MY holiday either."

 

Florduh you crack me up.

[Brother Jeff]

Marty, I was very, very angry for a very long time after my deconversion. I was EXTREMELY pissed off that I had spent 15 years of my life being deceived and lied to and emotionally manipulated and abused and led to believe a lot of things that simply are not true. I had some serious personal issues going on when I was approached by a guy I met in drama class at college. They always get you when you're down, right? This guy Mike, who became a good friend during my fundie days, wouldn't shut up about Jesus. One thing led to another and eventually I was gloriously converted. Glory! Fundies go on all the time about how great god is and about what Jesus did for them. Well, I thought Jesus was pretty fucking awesome for a long time. But what Christianity did for me is to transform me from a fairly average teenager with not unusual issues (aside from an undiagnosed mood disorder) to a typically ignorant, arrogant, obnoxious, bigoted, judgmental, self-righteous religious fanatic. And my youth was stolen from me. While I should have been enjoying life and having adventures and all that shit, I was in church being religious instead. I'm still recovering from all that. For several years I was absolutely consumed with RAGE over religion and what had been done to me in the name of god. My outlet was my then popular website. I ranted and raged a lot and I also frequently stomped the fundies who wrote me, and people connected with that. They also enjoyed the blasphemous humor I frequently posted. It was therapeutic for me and it made others laugh too. A win/win situation. Glory!

 

I still feel a need to speak out against religion and I enjoy participating here, but I've moved past most of the anger I felt. Yeah, it still pisses me off when I think too much about it, but shit happens in life, and it happened to me. I wish I had never gotten involved with religion, but I did and I can't change it, so I'm doing my best to deal with it and move on.

 

There is no doubt that the anger you are feeling is justified, but in reality the only person your anger is really hurting is YOU, just as the anger I was feeling, though justified, was only really hurting ME. It's not going to be easy, but you've got to let go of it! If you don't, you're gonna lose friends and alienate people.

 

I have more I would like to say, but I've already written it here:

 

http://winningthebipolarbattle.com/dealing-with-anger/

 

The above link deals with dealing with anger from a bipolar perspective, but I hope it will still be helpful.

 

Also, this article I found a long time ago on the Net that has helped me:

 

Psychological_Issues_of_Former_Members_of_Restrictive_Religious_Groups.pdf

 

As far as moving goes, hey... come on up to Alaska! The people here are great and the scenery can't be beat. Lots of places to go and things to do here year round. It's an awesome place to live! Glory!

 

I've got bookshelves full of great atheist/skeptical books that I haven't read yet because my focus has been elsewhere - on school and hiking and getting myself back in shape. Lay off of the books for a while and go do something fun! You'll feel tons better for it, and the books will still be there later.

 

Hope I've said something that helped. Glory!

 

EDIT: Jesus can help you get over your anger too. Just click on Him, and He'll magically fart your anger away!

 

http://www.alaskanatheist.com/fartingjesus.html

 

Glory!

[hereticzero]

I was watching television on Easter and on our cable they had a day of 'return of the mummy' and zombie movies--the theme was suitable for Easter.

[♦ Fuego ♦]

I was out biking, and a runner said "Happy Easter" when I passed, and I replied in same. After all, Easter is an old pagan tradition which was stolen by Christianity, and I have no beef with the old fertility traditions. Actually, I think we should reinstate the old traditions of celebrating the goddess Eastre, and the birth of a successful year, and I think we should do it with lots of food, binge drinking and sex-orgies. Then it would be a really happy holiday.

 

Damn straight Han! I read about all the fertility religions that were still going strong during the time of Augustine, and how the traditions of parading idols through the street and back to the temple came from these resurrection cults. Why the hell did Xianity have to get rid of the wild-ass celebrations? Stupid religion. All we have left are the bunnies and eggs.

 

On a side note, I saw the family with 18 kids on TV last night. Their boy is going to be a father now. He highly recommends waiting for "the one God has chosen for you because it's so much better". How the hell would he know? He doesn't, he made it up. And get this - he told his wife that she was pregnant, not the other way around. They struck me as really sheltered people entirely steeped in their particular brand of religion. Ewwwwww!

[Ouroboros]

For Christmas, and the next Easter, I think I should find some good old pagan images and have some texts like: The Real Reason for The Season, and then a picture of Astarte, Venus, or Mithra, or something.

 

Happy Spring Equinox and a Fertile Year, Everyone! May Mother Earth and the Spirits Bless You and Bring Happiness.

[SilentLoner]

Why not wish a Happy Osatara in return when someone says happy easter? Its where the bunny and egg tradition came from.

 

I don't mind being wished a Happy Easter. A religious version would though.

[woodsmoke]

For Christmas, and the next Easter, I think I should find some good old pagan images and have some texts like: The Real Reason for The Season, and then a picture of Astarte, Venus, or Mithra, or something.

 

Happy Spring Equinox and a Fertile Year, Everyone! May Mother Earth and the Spirits Bless You and Bring Happiness and Lots of Between the Sheets Action.