Guest laceknitter Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Tonight I learned a family member went to the hospital in pain. There is nothing I can actually *do* for him. Normally, I would be praying for him, but prayer has become pretty useless. So, I am just sitting here (knitting of course!) and then I will get some sleep. In the morning, I will wait to hear how he is doing. Is there anything I can do, to replace the prayer, that will actually help? Or did I pray just because I could feel that I was doing something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LookingGlass Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I'm sorry about your family member. For me, that was one of the hardest realizations for me to come to, that prayer didn't really do anything. Some time ago, my mom told me that my sister ODed on some medication to commit suicide. I felt SO frigging helpless. She was in the hospital and she was okay later, but the whole experience made me a nervous wreck. I just had to learn to hope for the best...I know that's a far cry from rebuking satan and casting out demons left and right. It's just the most logical thing to do though I think...just hope for the best and accept that we're not supernaturally empowered to change the course of nature afterall (not that we ever were in the first place, just thought we were). On the flip side though, I no longer have to be disappointed or wonder "why" when God doesn't answer my prayers. And also I have a reason to be more proactive...like when I talked to my sis later, I told her that I loved her, that I was there for her...not any "trust in the Lord" stuff. She knew that I had her back and loved her whether jesus was involved or not. Also it made me appreciate the people around me more. I no longer have jesus as a crutch so I have a chance to better appreciate and love and depend on the people around me. Hope all is well with your family member. We're always here if you need to talk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Do something for the other members of the family. Make cookies, offer to help with housework or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker630 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Do something for the other members of the family. Make cookies, offer to help with housework or something. Yeah there might be a lot of things she could do to help that actually accomplish something, depending on the other relative's life situation at home. I think a lot of people who say they're praying subconsciously know that there really isn't anything else useful they can say that will change the situation. They say it out of long ingrained habit so the other party doesn't think they are a totally heartless prick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Methoxy Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Tonight I learned a family member went to the hospital in pain. There is nothing I can actually *do* for him. Normally, I would be praying for him, but prayer has become pretty useless. So, I am just sitting here (knitting of course!) and then I will get some sleep. In the morning, I will wait to hear how he is doing. Is there anything I can do, to replace the prayer, that will actually help? Or did I pray just because I could feel that I was doing something? If you want to pray, pray. Maybe it will make you feel better. Being an atheist means you're free to do as you will. We won't kick you out of our little club for breaking that taboo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest laceknitter Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 We live in different states, so any tangible help is out. He is having gallbladder surgery this morning and should be home tomorrow. His wife said not to borrow with flowers, so I offered to send her the $ that I would have spent on them to help with the bills. I also realized that when I used to pray for situations like these, I would just stress myself out, wondering if I should pray more, if I should fast, what else could I do to make sure God really heard me. Obviously, I never got any of the instant healing miracles that I had prayed for. I am a lot calmer with this today, knowing that what can be done is being done, and I don't need to kick myself for not doing enough. I am in contact to show that I care, but I just can't fake the words "I am praying for you" when I am not. Since everyone else is Christian, they probably just assume that I am praying along with them(yes, I am totally in the closet religionwise and happy to stay here ~ ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahgrace Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Some people will probably think this is silly, but whatever. I still have the urge to pray as well at times, so instead of begging god or jesus or whatever to do x or y, I just kind of close my eyes and muster up as much good, positive feeling/energy/whatever as I can. Then I think about the person I am feeling concerned about and imagine that I am sending them that positivity. I know that it doesn't actually *do* anything... but it helps me to focus my attention on someone and think about ways I could possibly make their life better in a bad situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joD Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Wow, Foxy, what a thought! We as free thinkers are free to pray if we want! And, like Sarah Grace said, we can just pour some concious warm positive energy into it, even if all it does is help us think more about them. Getting out of our own little world is always a good idea. I bet your family member was grateful for the thoughtfulness of your gift. I love it that there are no "rules" to follow! (i.e. "If you pray we will kick your sorry ass out of our little atheist club!") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Since he is in a different state, providing financial help is a good way to help like you have already done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker630 Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I am in contact to show that I care, but I just can't fake the words "I am praying for you" when I am not. Since everyone else is Christian, they probably just assume that I am praying along with them(yes, I am totally in the closet religionwise and happy to stay here ~ ). Tell him you have him in your thoughts, and hope that everything goes well. It's as good as any prayer ever said. And the gift of money shows that you care enough to actually do something. But given your situation, if someone pressures you to pray with them-----lie your ass off and just go through with it. It won't hurt anything and you can stay in the closet, knowing that it made someone else feel better about it. Pretty selfless thing to do on your part really if you stop to think about it. Doing something you find distasteful to help someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts