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Oh Those Crazy Christians


Kyle
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It's been slow at work, and youtube is one of my addictions. After various searches, I've come up with the following compilation that will make you laugh and shake your head in disgust.

 

Please add to the collection. Enjoy...

 

We'll start with a remix

 

On to some weirdness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFcN8HniQoM...feature=related

 

I wonder what kind of ratings this show gets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4tg4CftkPw...feature=related

 

Seriously, WTF???

 

Disturbing child brainwashing

 

And last, but not least, the crazy preacher kid

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Sure, the preacher kid knows evolution and how it works... because he's so old, mature, and have studied it for a whole zero seconds?

 

Some of the stuff in this videos I have witnessed live... and even, I have to shamefully admit, been part of.

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Yeah, the kid is monkey-see, monkey-do. His performance is sickly polished.

 

I was never in the pentecostal craziness. I came close to the charismatic crazy, but I was able to resist.

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I wonder if they would trust this guy to tell them how to invest their money? Or would they listen to him if he told them how to do their job? Maybe they should make him their boss in church, as long as he claims it comes from Jesus they should be fine. Crazy people...

 

Good for you Kyle that you escaped the complete craziness. I can still speak in tongues, actually better than back then. We watched Religulous this weekend, with the kids, and I told them I can speak in tongues, and demonstrated it. They gave me big eyes and dropped jaws.

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Although I find these funny, I'm also saddened and embarrassed.I was raised pentecostal.

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Oh, don't be embarrasssed. It's just great that we can watch these and laugh (or vomit). What about the chick at the pro-life rally just standing there screaming in that guy's ear. He should've punched her out.

 

Now I'm watching more on these kid preachers. So sad. They asked the 7 yr old why he was a preacher, and he said, "You'll have to ask my dad" :lmao:

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Wow!!! I’ve never attended a pentecostal church. I had no idea it was so… aerobic!!! Now that I am recovering from my surgery, I’m planning to start going to the gym. Maybe I should throw in a pentecostal service on Sunday for variety!!!

 

Kyle, each of these was creepy in it’s own way, but the brainwashing of the children is going to give me nightmares. :puke:

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One thing to realize is that it isn't like this every Sunday. I remember how it sometimes were quite peaceful and calm. And other times we danced, sang in tongues, and prayed for the sick, and all that junk... It's emotional masturbation. Get a endorphin high by self-hypnotic trance. It's like a rave party, but without E, sexy/skimpy dressed girls, or the cool lights.

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We watched Religulous this weekend, with the kids, and I told them I can speak in tongues, and demonstrated it. They gave me big eyes and dropped jaws.
For some reason, this reminded of this video
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One thing to realize is that it isn't like this every Sunday. I remember how it sometimes were quite peaceful and calm. And other times we danced, sang in tongues, and prayed for the sick, and all that junk... It's emotional masturbation. Get a endorphin high by self-hypnotic trance. It's like a rave party, but without E, sexy/skimpy dressed girls, or the cool lights.

 

The one that I attended a few Sunday's at was like that every damn day. I don't recall any rolling around on the floor, but there was a lot of jumping and screaming. I'm surprised police never showed up investigating the screams.

 

This also comes to show that the holy spirit aint got no rhythm. If whites can't dance, then the holy spirit must be a higher ascendancy of white.

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Guest arm_911

HeLL O all,

 

I'm new as can be to this site and i have never posted here but, Kyle's you tube video's has changed all that. In my life i have been to Baptist, Church of God(great food there BTW) Presbyterian,Methodist,Holiness (also dam good eating place) and if you want to see this shit for yourself. Make sure to hit them up on REVIVAL time. That is when the visiting preachers really load the shit heavy. And then the dancing begins. If you would like to dance like this in the PRIVACY of your own home, i have a great Hash Brownie recipe i can hook you up with. And it is possibly the same as some of our "great preachers" of the world use. My grandfather always said the easiest way to achieve power and pussy is to become a preacher. And he should know because he was one for 2 years. Thanks for listening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's been slow at work, and youtube is one of my addictions. After various searches, I've come up with the following compilation that will make you laugh and shake your head in disgust.

 

Please add to the collection. Enjoy...

 

We'll start with a remix

 

On to some weirdness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFcN8HniQoM...feature=related

 

I wonder what kind of ratings this show gets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4tg4CftkPw...feature=related

 

Seriously, WTF???

 

Disturbing child brainwashing

 

And last, but not least, the crazy preacher kid

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Oh. my. God. I'm so embarrassed that I used to believe some of these things...I never saw any service like those, but some people in the front row WOULD basically have a little mosh pit. I rolled my eyes even then.

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My grandfather always said the easiest way to achieve power and pussy is to become a preacher.

 

No shit? How did he avoid getting busted?

 

Well, I guess that way is easier than getting a PhD and becoming a professor. :grin:

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Maybe I should throw in a pentecostal service on Sunday for variety!!!

 

Show up in your gym clothes. That would be hilarious. You get extra points if you wear one of those spandex/thong combos with leg warmers and a pair of hand weights.

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HeLL O all,

 

I'm new as can be to this site and i have never posted here but, Kyle's you tube video's has changed all that. In my life i have been to Baptist, Church of God(great food there BTW) Presbyterian,Methodist,Holiness (also dam good eating place) and if you want to see this shit for yourself. Make sure to hit them up on REVIVAL time. That is when the visiting preachers really load the shit heavy. And then the dancing begins. If you would like to dance like this in the PRIVACY of your own home, i have a great Hash Brownie recipe i can hook you up with. And it is possibly the same as some of our "great preachers" of the world use. My grandfather always said the easiest way to achieve power and pussy is to become a preacher. And he should know because he was one for 2 years. Thanks for listening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's been slow at work, and youtube is one of my addictions. After various searches, I've come up with the following compilation that will make you laugh and shake your head in disgust.

 

Please add to the collection. Enjoy...

 

We'll start with a remix

 

On to some weirdness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFcN8HniQoM...feature=related

 

I wonder what kind of ratings this show gets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4tg4CftkPw...feature=related

 

Seriously, WTF???

 

Disturbing child brainwashing

 

And last, but not least, the crazy preacher kid

 

Hey bro. Glad you made it.

 

For your information, arm_911 is my best friend in the world. He's knows where the bodies are buried :lol:

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My grandfather always said the easiest way to achieve power and pussy is to become a preacher.

 

No shit? How did he avoid getting busted?

 

Well, I guess that way is easier than getting a PhD and becoming a professor. :grin:

 

It is much easier than you think. Can you do 5th grade level book report? Ok, take those skills, find a passage in the buybull, read a couple of footnotes, and there you have a sermon. Next, take said sermon with you to visit a church a few times. When you are invited to prayer night at someone's house on Wednesday, use the ultra poilshed sermon on them. Repeat until you have a few people thinking the way you do. Next, plant the seed of division in the church (this is not hard, trust me). As the church starts to divide, take those who agree with you and start a new church. Voila, you are now a preacher with a flock.

 

Now that you are the shepherd, the women will confide in you. After all, you are a "man of gawd". Then, "in a moment of weakness" you and one of the flock have an intimate encounter. But that's ok. You have a direct line to the gawd, ghost, krayyyast. So your sins will be forgiven. Repeat.

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My grandfather always said the easiest way to achieve power and pussy is to become a preacher.

 

No shit? How did he avoid getting busted?

 

Well, I guess that way is easier than getting a PhD and becoming a professor. :grin:

 

It is much easier than you think. Can you do 5th grade level book report? Ok, take those skills, find a passage in the buybull, read a couple of footnotes, and there you have a sermon. Next, take said sermon with you to visit a church a few times. When you are invited to prayer night at someone's house on Wednesday, use the ultra poilshed sermon on them. Repeat until you have a few people thinking the way you do. Next, plant the seed of division in the church (this is not hard, trust me). As the church starts to divide, take those who agree with you and start a new church. Voila, you are now a preacher with a flock.

 

Now that you are the shepherd, the women will confide in you. After all, you are a "man of gawd". Then, "in a moment of weakness" you and one of the flock have an intimate encounter. But that's ok. You have a direct line to the gawd, ghost, krayyyast. So your sins will be forgiven. Repeat.

 

*blushes* I only fell for that once. Okay....twice. In my defense, he was good-looking for a minister and told me I was specially 'blessed' by God!

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest arm_911
My grandfather always said the easiest way to achieve power and pussy is to become a preacher.

 

No shit? How did he avoid getting busted?

 

Well, I guess that way is easier than getting a PhD and becoming a professor. :grin:

 

It is much easier than you think. Can you do 5th grade level book report? Ok, take those skills, find a passage in the buybull, read a couple of footnotes, and there you have a sermon. Next, take said sermon with you to visit a church a few times. When you are invited to prayer night at someone's house on Wednesday, use the ultra poilshed sermon on them. Repeat until you have a few people thinking the way you do. Next, plant the seed of division in the church (this is not hard, trust me). As the church starts to divide, take those who agree with you and start a new church. Voila, you are now a preacher with a flock.

 

Now that you are the shepherd, the women will confide in you. After all, you are a "man of gawd". Then, "in a moment of weakness" you and one of the flock have an intimate encounter. But that's ok. You have a direct line to the gawd, ghost, krayyyast. So your sins will be forgiven. Repeat.

 

*blushes* I only fell for that once. Okay....twice. In my defense, he was good-looking for a minister and told me I was specially 'blessed' by God!

 

 

The only vessel that could handle the (staff) of the Lord. LoL

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The only vessel that could handle the (staff) of the Lord. LoL

Are we talking about the Jesus Got Wood, or the Res-erection Jesus? He just keeps on coming again...

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It is much easier than you think. Can you do 5th grade level book report? Ok, take those skills, find a passage in the buybull, read a couple of footnotes, and there you have a sermon. Next, take said sermon with you to visit a church a few times. When you are invited to prayer night at someone's house on Wednesday, use the ultra poilshed sermon on them. Repeat until you have a few people thinking the way you do. Next, plant the seed of division in the church (this is not hard, trust me). As the church starts to divide, take those who agree with you and start a new church. Voila, you are now a preacher with a flock.

 

Now that you are the shepherd, the women will confide in you. After all, you are a "man of gawd". Then, "in a moment of weakness" you and one of the flock have an intimate encounter. But that's ok. You have a direct line to the gawd, ghost, krayyyast. So your sins will be forgiven. Repeat.

Other tips for coming up with sermons is to find some sort of moral dilemma or political rant of the day that has to do with those ebil godless liberals taking away Judea-Christian values, find a bible story that deals with the moral/political issues, throw in a rant about gays and evolutionists, then throw in Pascal's Wager at the end. Rinse and repeat.
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Guest Marty

One of my favorite parts of the film Religious is when Maher asks a guy "What do you think it says about the seriousness of religion if you can be a preacher at the age of ten?"

:blink:

 

Classic xtian in the headlights response!

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One of my favorite parts of the film Religious is when Maher asks a guy "What do you think it says about the seriousness of religion if you can be a preacher at the age of ten?"

:blink:

 

Classic xtian in the headlights response!

 

I totally need to see that! Is it any good??

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