Jump to content

Young Adulthood (18-25, Let's Say), Deconversion, And You.


Vomit Comet
 Share


Recommended Posts

And the quest for knowledge continues!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, let me lob some more questions at y'all, in no particular order:

 

1. So were your young adult years in the late 60s and early 70s? In the early 60s or earlier? Or were they in the 80s, 90s, or 00s? I reckon age cohort makes a huge difference. The young adults then and now are separate breeds, practically.

 

2. Did you enter college as an ultra-devout fundy, gritting your teeth and ready for spiritual warfare? Or did you otherwise enter college as a devoutly religious believer? What was your experience? Did you get challenged, persecuted, etc.? Or did you find it more easygoing and tolerant?

 

3. Did you enter college not quite so devout? Like "whatevs", or whatever? Did you just blend in and do the college thing alongside everybody else?

 

4. Was there a Christian group on campus? Multiple Christian groups? How big or effective were they? How involved were you? What was that like?

 

5. In college, were people around you debating about ethics, beliefs, philosophies, etc. etc.? Or were they just there fucking around and looking to get a degree so that they could get good jobs?

 

6. So did anybody in your family, or at your church, give you any grief for going to college?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Marty

1. I came of age in the mid to late 80's, at the hight of the satanic heavy metal scare. Of course, metal happened to be my favorite music at the time. I think their opposition to music...fucking music...was what first got me thinking. They weren't against all music, of course, but I still think of metal (when its done right) as classical music played with rock instruments. Music can not make you do anything you wouldn't do otherwise, and even as a 12 year old, that idea seemed silly to me.

 

2. I didn't go to college, I went to a trade school, but all the same, I was agnostic at that time. I had rejected my church, but didn't really think much about whether god really existed and even assumed jesus had actually existed at some point (now I am a jesus is legend guy). Although I knew about the scientific method before trade school, it was really hammered into our heads for troubleshooting equipment problems, etc. By the time I graduated, the logical side of my brain was toned up and working very well.

 

3. Yes, by the time I was at school, I was "whatever". I didn't start to get actively against religion untill 9/11. Then I saw the dangers of believing stupid shit.

 

4. Not that I was aware of. Being a tech school for the music industry, I was finally surrounded by people just like me. Most people there were "whatevers", I doubt anyone would've labeled themselves an Atheist. But I relaxed alot when I realized that there were lots of other people who thought, felt, and acted just like I did. I felt (and still feel) like an outcast in my own hometown.

 

5. One thing I do remember is that my church enviornment was mildly racist. Nobody in authority would preach it, but we as kids were allowed to run around using the "n" word as a insult to each other or just in passing to describe a black person. When I got to school, I started meeting real, normal black people, and realize I was not only grossly misinformed, but my own experiences that I thought confirmed it was wrong. I went to a public high school in the ghetto, and so my first exposure to black culture was through that, and let me just say I was less than impressed, shocked, really.

 

But at school I started jamming with some guys and the keyboardist was black. We got along swimmingly, and still do. We've played on each others songs, he has been a session musician at my studio, etc. Once I met his friends and family, another wall to understanding came crumbling down. I still say that music can be the great unifier of humanity. But I say that cause I'm a musician...:)

 

6. No. Nobody gave me any grief, and I point out the irony all the time. I was so well educated by my church/school that I saw right through the sham.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1. I was a young adult in the late 90s.

 

2 & 3. I went to college in my mid-20s after I had already done the heavy drinking, doing whatever the hell I wanted, being a full fundy in my head but not through my actions stuff. When I entered college, although there was no difference in the way I acted as opposed to anyone else, my thought processes were the same as an ultra-fundy. I was READY for spiritual warfare. I knew those atheist professors were all in a secret conspiracy to get me to believe in evolution because that's what my parents taught me. LOL. I was not persecuted because I was a logical debater and willing to concede if presented with enough evidence. I was challenged by my teachers, but not so much by other students since I went to school in the Bible belt and most of them were fundy as well. It was a state college, but the Bible belt is the Bible belt. By the last two years, I'm sure everyone thought I was Satan because my views had changed so much on so many things.

 

4. There were Christian groups on campus, but I stayed away. I am really weird/stingy about my personal time and never join anything unless I feel I can't live without it.

 

5. In college, I encountered both types of people. Those willing to debate things and those just fucking around. I would have to say that the percentage of those willing (and able, ack!) to debate things was very low, though.

 

6. My parents had mixed emotions. They thought it was important and were proud of me since I was determined to be a first generation college graduate, but they were scared those atheist professors would get me. They warned me constantly to be on my guard against the lies of evolution and free love and such. LOL. The church was a little different. They have always been very pro-college, but they really encourage folks to go to Christian colleges. At least my parents were smart enough to realize a Christian college didn't make financial sense since I was paying my own way through, so they didn't push that. Not that they would have anyway. They learned a long time ago that Gypsy pretty much does what she wants. Plus, I moved out of their house at 18 so had been on my own for quite a while.

 

On a related note, one of my biggest problems with ever telling them of my deconversion is that it will "confirm their fears" that atheist professors "get you" in college. I may have to wait a very long time before I tell them so they don't link it to college. Such a link would shut down all logical discussion. The other problem is that I love them too much to see them destroyed with worry over my eternal future, but I digress. Sigh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In response to question 3 in the poll, I actually did drink more often after deconverting, but I think that had more to do with my age and relative freedom from parental influences than deconversion itself. Consequently, I put "none of the above" even though that is not technically true.

 

1. So were your young adult years in the late 60s and early 70s? In the early 60s or earlier? Or were they in the 80s, 90s, or 00s? I reckon age cohort makes a huge difference. The young adults then and now are separate breeds, practically.

 

00's (I'll be 21 in May)

 

2. Did you enter college as an ultra-devout fundy, gritting your teeth and ready for spiritual warfare? Or did you otherwise enter college as a devoutly religious believer? What was your experience? Did you get challenged, persecuted, etc.? Or did you find it more easygoing and tolerant?

3. Did you enter college not quite so devout? Like "whatevs", or whatever? Did you just blend in and do the college thing alongside everybody else?

 

I entered as a devout Catholic girl, not expecting to convert anyone and not expecting to be converted by anyone (de-conversion wasn't even on my radar). I expected to find the atmosphere relaxed and tolerant about different religious beliefs and that was pretty much what I found (after de-converting, I found this atmosphere only applies to people who are Christian). Of course, there were always the Mormon missionaries, but I ignored them.

 

4. Was there a Christian group on campus? Multiple Christian groups? How big or effective were they? How involved were you? What was that like?

 

There are nine Christian groups, one Muslim group, and one pagan group at my college. The largest group (about 200-300 active members) is currently listed as and interfaith group, but it isn't. Any group which has a motivational speaker asking "Do you believe you were meant for wonders since you are a child of Christ?" multiple times in the same lecture is obviously a Christian group. For the most part, the Christian groups focus more on increasing the faith of their members than anything else. My first semester, I attended the Wednesday night dinners at the Catholic church and sang in the choir. I wasn't very involved in the Catholic group on-campus, though.

 

5. In college, were people around you debating about ethics, beliefs, philosophies, etc. etc.? Or were they just there fucking around and looking to get a degree so that they could get good jobs?

 

Pretty much everyone except the philosophy majors fell into the latter category.

 

6. So did anybody in your family, or at your church, give you any grief for going to college?

 

Absolutely not. I know my family would give me great grief for NOT going to...grad school (luckily, I really want to go to grad school). My church was very supportive and encouraging of higher education. They gave a scholarship to two members of the youth group each year (my primary reason for remaining in youth group throughout high school).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was around my 19th birthday when I deconverted. College definitely helped but I can't say exactly how. Most of it was probably just being away from family and Catholic high school where I was forced to go to church every week and everyone around me was religious. Everyone around me encouraged college and my church/school was not very conservative at all.

 

1. So were your young adult years in the late 60s and early 70s? In the early 60s or earlier? Or were they in the 80s, 90s, or 00s? I reckon age cohort makes a huge difference. The young adults then and now are separate breeds, practically.
00s. I'm 20 right now.

 

2. Did you enter college as an ultra-devout fundy, gritting your teeth and ready for spiritual warfare? Or did you otherwise enter college as a devoutly religious believer? What was your experience? Did you get challenged, persecuted, etc.? Or did you find it more easygoing and tolerant?

 

3. Did you enter college not quite so devout? Like "whatevs", or whatever? Did you just blend in and do the college thing alongside everybody else?

I entered college on the very edge of deconverting. It was only a few months after I started that I lost all religious belief.

 

 

4. Was there a Christian group on campus? Multiple Christian groups? How big or effective were they? How involved were you? What was that like?
I joined a bible study, at first with the hope of finding something that would help me not lose faith, but it didn't work. I stuck with it for the friends, being that I didn't know anybody at the time.

 

5. In college, were people around you debating about ethics, beliefs, philosophies, etc. etc.? Or were they just there fucking around and looking to get a degree so that they could get good jobs?

 

6. So did anybody in your family, or at your church, give you any grief for going to college?

No to both.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1. Young adult in the early 1990's. I remember back when the intert00bs ran on hamster wheels and email was done with a rock and a stick...

 

2 & 3. I went into college as a devoutly religious believer, yes. It was weird. I wasn't the only Christian in my social group, but I was the only fundy. I had this weird quasi-skepticism about a lot of my subjects - science classes, some philosophy, stuff like that. Not exactly that I didn't believe what I was being taught, it was more like I mentally qualified everything my professors said with this sort of internal reminder that really Goddidit.

 

I actually did crap at college the first time. I wasn't ready, I was living in a household where I was treated like shit, I had problems with sleep and mental health that I now realize were serious enough that I should've been getting treatment for them but wasn't. Half of my classes I passed with flying colors, the other half I barely passed at all.

 

Sometimes I'd blend in with other students, sometimes not. Just depended on what we were talking about and when and why. I wasn't a very good debater so I don't remember witnessing much, but sometimes I would, if I got into arguments with my friends about theology.

 

4. I think there were Christians groups on campus, but I don't recall being terribly involved with them.

 

5. They debated such things if it was a philosophy class, yes. And sometimes my friends and I would have discussions like that. But mostly everybody was out for a degree.

 

6. No. My family did and does deeply value education. I had no choice but to go to college at their demands.

 

Interestingly enough, there were two conflicting motivations for education that I was getting from my family while I was in college. One was that college was for earning a degree so that one could get a good job afterwards and start a career. The other was that girls went to college to find husbands, and the degree was just something to fall back on if I couldn't find a man to take care of me, because my "job" as a woman was to become a wife and mother.

 

Those two ideologies pulled on me, hard, from opposite directions, the whole time I was in. It was very disconcerting, even more so than any issues that might've arisen from being Christian.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oddly enough, college was possibly the time in my life that I was least affected by religion, questioning and deconversion.

 

My unbelief came much earlier, and it was mostly during my teenage years that I had real struggles with trying to believe and fearing the repercussions of unbelief.

 

College was like a holding time. My small amounts of religious participation were completely social. Since I didn't have to deal with my family very often, I didn't think about religion much at all, and it was a very welcome break. I was still kind of screwed up in some ways from being sheltered and being afraid of my parents' reaction, but these were more tangential problems than my actual state of belief.

 

After college, I was living near my parents again, and it was then that it became too much to continue faking belief and I started identifying as a non-Christian, with all accompanying family stress.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK this is not so easy to explain in the questions- the community I was involved in after I left home encouraged education, but my mother's did not. My relatives were anti-intellectual, but where I attended after I left home was not. And why isn't smoking tobacco on there? I didn't start until I was 18 and my mother thought that was just awful- not just awful because of health reasons, but awful as in sinful. As for my college... I took some classes before I got hooked up with this asshole, quit, married him under pressure from my relatives, divorced him, went back to college with two toddlers in tow, graduated, then went back again, when my sons were teenagers to get another undergrad degree (have to if you switch fields of study)... I don't think I've ever quit learning. As for my de-conversion, if you can call being Xian not exactly by choice Xian, it was a very slow process that took some time. I had some memes that needed to busted, but I knew I did not believe as my relatives did/do. So, it's a fine line depending on one's definition of Xian.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.