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Goodbye Jesus

Living In The Aftermath Of The Destructive Cult


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Well -- Here's the story of my life, Im not looking for pity, rather, I would love to teach and prepare others for what can happen.


So, I just turned 6 years old, and my Grandmother brings me to a Pentecostal Church where a man named Stanley McIsaac had just taken over as the head 'Pastor'. Now, being 6 years old, I felt emotionally overwhelmed by the scenario I have -never- experienced before. So when the time comes for people to 'raise their hands' in acceptance of this 'salvation', I felt emotionally compelled to comply, and officially 'recieved jesus in to my heart'.


I had not been to church for quite some time after this incident happened -- in fact, I had basically forgotten all about it (this goes to show how 'meaningful' this emotional experience REALLY was to me). So, My grandmother invites the whole family to church -- and than we officially become a 'church family'.


Now, I had absolutely NO interest in coming to church ever single sunday -- 2x a day being this age. I had more interest playing the NES or on my computer. So years and years go by, and i slowly became less offensive on my complaints to going to church since there was this cute girl my age who also went there.


So lets fast forward a few years. I'm now 11 years old. The church has had a drama filled year in which I was kept ignorant and blind to the 'goings on'. But from what I've gathered, the 'Pastor' had been accused of A) Cheating on his wife with other mens wives, B) 'Prophesying' that people will die a horrific death, C) Becoming a tyrant and infallable image within the chruches walls.

To elaborate further -- This man had 'Prophesied' that his wife will die, and that he would marry another husbands wife, and that husband would die so the marriage could become reality, And God had revealed this to 'Stanley'. He had also offered counselling to the husbands/wives, but, would only meet the wives in private quarters during late-nights. This man had done what many other destructive cult leaders had done, brainwashed or conditioned his female congregation into doing what HE wants while causing a pseudo-attraction because of his position of power.


So -- I'm 11 years old at the moment, not knowing a SINGLE thing thats happening -- And this 'Pastor' gets up one day and moves to Brampton, Ontario, where he starts a Non-Denomination church. Than, I get news that the cute girl I was friends with is now moving to Ontario with her dad -- but her mom would be staying on PEI. We were all told that she was dis-obeying God's will and that her marriage is over and would be getting a divorce. (By the way, She is ONE of the ladies who would marry stan, and her husband, Arthur, would die for it). So Arthur believed fully well that he would die and Darlene would marry Stan. However, Stan has no need for Darlene anymore -- Since she lives on PEI (and God only uses local people for sexual perversions).


Let's fast forward a few more years -- I'm now 15.


I come home from school one day and I get news that we're MOVING!!! I was so happy, and especially that we were moving to TORONTO! I was also excited because my cute friend, who i havent seen in 4 years, lived there. At this point in my life I had absolutely NO interest in going to church, in fact I thought we were done with religion! So, little did I know, but a family from Stan's church had picked us up and brought us to Toronto. I didn't even get to enjoy the sights of this huge city that I've never even been to, and within an hour of driving into the Toronto area, We started driving to church (at this point in time I was frustrated and angry that I got tricked into going to church).


So -- This is where the fun begins.


Stan, the head pastor, of this church called 'Word of God Ministries' had seen me and was instantly outraged at the fact that I would show up to Sunday/Wednesday services in a T-Shirt and Shorts, Sit down during mandatory 'standing and singing' time, and wouldn't bow my head/close my eyes during prayer, AND that I would REFUSE to sing and raise my hands in worship. This drove him insane, as he had gotten used to people just doing as they were told. So he would constantly grab me by my shoulder, and force me to stand up, and grab my hands and raise them (All during service, and being an introvert I liked to keep to myself and not make a scene) to embarass me. If i dropped my arms, he would 'rebuke' me and yell at me during the service until I did what he said. Fair enough I thought, I would do it whenever he got mad at me. But this wasn't enough -- he wanted me to do it EVERY time, and not have to tell me to do it.


So, lets fast forward a few more years. I'm now 17.


Im in love with this girl named Tiffany, we absolutely adore eachother, we KNEW we were going to be together forever! At this time, I loved the band 'Tool', and loved Metal. This did NOT go over well when Stanley heard about my musical taste. So, in his eyes -- I'm a rebellious little shit who didnt do what he was told, and basically I'm under the control of a 'spirit of timidity and rebellion'. Now, I'm an introvert with very poor social skills, INTP for you personality buffs. So I got sick and tired of being emotionally abused and threatened, so I got up and told my big brother that I'm going to go live with him. I tell my parents, I dont believe in God, and Im leaving. So the next morning I go and catch a ride back to PEI to live with my brother.

Blah blah blah. A little under a year goes by, and I grow tired of island life(with a mix of depression and a feeling of being lost), So I get up and move back in with my parents and agree to their rules of going to their church, doing their church things.


So, I'm now 18.


4 Months go by, and the pastor is still indignant towards me. He is now watching my every step. I start to get along with the whole religion thing so I could be with my parents. I started listening to Tool/A Perfect Circle even more, and I start to wander with my thoughts on who/what God REALLY is. Like it or not, this becomes evident with people like myself, as I dont like pretending to be someone that I'm not. I started to draw the younger male crowd in with my musical taste, and casual style, and the Pastor during service runs up to me and starts trying the 'Yell at me and get me to do what he says' trick. At this point in time, I've gotten a little more control over the overwhelming of my senses by this man in 'power'. So I had just started getting along with Tiffany again, and was told we had to break up because we could not be 'Unequally Yolked' as the bible quotes.


Blah blah. I am emotionally drained by the time im 19, and I just want to be happy with Tiffany again. And I'll do anything to get her back. So I prove myself by going to a Pentecostal church for a year, and going back into 'Word of God Ministries'.


So, I'm now 20.

I'm getting along in church, I've now officially become indoctrinated. I am saved by every definition. Things are going okay for about a year...

Now it starts to get really weird. During this year Stan has prophesied that his wife was going to die in a horrific accident, and he was going to marry Galina. Galina is married to another pastor at this church, and yes -- Curt was going to die for the cause. And as the prophesy continues, She was then going to die -- and he was going to marry my cute friend Natalia. BAM! Things are moving at a different pace for me. The church is now in overdrive-- Praying for Ena(Stans wife, now ex) to die. Stan has now become all-powerful in the eyes of the congregation. He has even convinced the church that if anyone were to even whisper something negative about Stan that this person would die from the hands of God. Ive forgotten more than I should have, but its VERY weird during these years.


Than I started questioning again...

One glaring thing caught my eye, 9-11! What? A Conspiracy? Now -- This changed my whole opinion on life, basically inverted. Stan had been praising 'Bush' now for becoming President. And I started telling family/friends about this plausible 9-11 conspiracy. I've opened up a whole new chapter in my life, the age of inquiry! I started reviewing my 'Rights and Freedoms' as a Canadian citizen. I am now full-force into research into things like Freemasons, Bilderberger's, blah blah blah.


The day of reckoning.


I get a phone call from Stan. He has to talk. He now comes over with his 'Bible'. To make it short-- He called me Bin Laden, a Terrorist, user and abuser of people, and the big one -- I only wanted Tiffany to 'grow my army' and I really didnt love her. So -- I get kicked out, and am now threatened without a place to live. But my parents speak up and say they refuse to kick me out since they didn't agree with the outcome of this man's decision. Sooo, a few months go by, and my little sister tells me she got an email from the youth pastor (Curt), and it said "Good job, Shawna." Now this may not mean anything to you -- but my big sisters name is Shawna. He had now insulted TWO of my sisters. So I sent him an email stating, "Good job shawna? What the F*CK is that supposed to mean? Say it again."


Well well, that didn't go over too well for me -- I'm now officially kicked out of the house for insulting a 'Man of God'. Yes, you read me right.


So here we are. I havent said EVERYTHING that has happened, and certainly have not expanded on my little sister being molested by 2 of the pastors, or Natalia being molested the pastors, or Jessica(The other girl natalia/my sisters age) had been molested by the pastors.


So the sexual scorecard for the pastors is this:

Curt(3). Jessica, Krista, Natalia

Arthur(1). Krista

Stan(>3). Jessica, Natalia, Darlene, and I forget the other names, and dont know them all.


Now, I'm a full-blown Atheist.

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Guest nonreligiousbelieverinGod

I can understand your anger. I have seen a number of very strange situations going on myself. It is really "unbelievable" to others if they have not seen this type of thing. The religious "elite" are often psychotic narcisstic (spelling off) types. The only question is: are they sociopathic or psychopathic? It's one or the other, one that is more dangerous than the other. The lesser mentally ill like myself with anxiety and depression issues that are bullied by the greater mentally ill which is them. Do we live in the dark ages still? What is it about human nature that turns them into such complete mean and selfish people under the guise of "being saved"?

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