Guest Itookthebluepill Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I have been reading posts here for some time now, I finally decided to register. I'm a 25 year-old, college-educated male. I was raised Catholic, but between the ages of 10-15 my family went to all sorts of different churches (Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, etc). From 16-21 I didn't go to church at all and was your typical teenager/young adult. What makes my de-conversion so difficult is that my mother, around 7 years ago, became deeply religious. Now, my entire family attends the Catholic church regularly, and I have played guitar for our local parish for almost 4 years now. My conversion began almost 6 months ago. Up front, I should mention that I like to read and learn, and I tend to question everything because I believe questioning to be a healthy practice. Around 6 months ago, I was praying before going to sleep, as I have done for several years now. Sadly, I realize now that I always prayed for the wrong reasons. I constantly asked for God to forgive my sins out of the fear that I might die unexpectedly and go to hell. Now I view that as being very silly and I have lumped that feeling in with the other many ridiculous facets of organized religion that I'm quite glad to be free from. While praying, I suddenly had this unexpected feeling. It was as though, rather than talking to God as I had always felt was the case, I was talking to a brick wall. There was suddenly no one on the other end for me. I asked, "How could this be? Why?" The search for those answers have led me to where I am now. I have come to the conclusion that organized religion of any kind is nothing more than a man-made construction meant to contort and control. I have spent hours upon hours studying contradictions in the bible and church teachings, and like many of you I suspect I have seen more acts of hypocrisy from "Christians" than I can keep count of. This has all left me between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, I have a great, loving girlfriend that accepts me for who I am and does not criticize me for my "lack of belief". I also have a brother, 23, who is very skeptical about religion and is perhaps even an atheist himself. My mother, father, and 2 other siblings, however, are not nearly as accepting. The past several months have resulted in a deep rift between myself and my mother, despite us being so alike and having a great relationship all my life. I'm not invited to the family functions anymore, I'm "an embarrassment" to her and she claims that I have made her look bad to the church. I am currently a member of the Knights of Columbus and, like I mentioned, the guitarist for the church, which is a paying job for me. I no longer believe in religion or god of any kind, and I feel that I can no longer take money from the church, or attend any meetings or groups like I had in the past. My mother thinks I'm just being lazy and don't want to attend mass. I'm hoping in time that sites like this and support from my friends will get me through. After I began to seriously consider the possibility that God and religion are all crap, I watched Bill Maher's Religulous. Then I read Dawkins, Hitchens, Hawking, and others. I have always been a staunch believer in evolution and the separation of church and state. Honestly, life and existence makes more sense to me now than it ever has, and oddly enough, despite the social problems that I am experiencing, I feel a sense of comfort that I've never felt before. Moreover, I'm learning that morality and goodness can and often does exist quite well outside of religion. I just wish that more people would find the courage and sensibility to "come out" as it were to their friends and families. That's my story in a nutshell, and I look forward to my time here. I believe you must always keep learning, and I think this is a great place to practice that belief! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted April 30, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome to the real world. I think you'll find rational thought serves you better than living under the power of a superstition. Enjoy yourself here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
☆ TexasFreethinker ☆ Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome to the site ITook.... It's always nice to have another Texan join. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ouroboros Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome BluePill, We've gone through similar experiences. Calling God, hello, hello!! Somebody there? (No answer) ... It's a tough realization, but it's also rewarding. Your life will change now. A true "born-again" experience, and it can be a bit of roller-coaster for some, but on the other end you'll say, "ah, so this is real life!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome. I find it interesting that you are unable to take money from the church. Isn't amazing how you can make such an ethical decision without the skydaddy watching over you? Welcome to the real world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Itookthebluepill Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Thank you everyone. I really think I'm gonna like it here. So much to read, so little time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defygravity Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome! I am from Texas, too! I grew up near Ft. Worth but I am in Korea now, dh is in the Navy. I loved Religulous! I think my husband got a bigger kick out of it, though. He's more agnostic and I still believe in a higher power, just not in organized or any other religion. So your username... does it refer to Brave New World...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Itookthebluepill Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome! I am from Texas, too! I grew up near Ft. Worth but I am in Korea now, dh is in the Navy. I loved Religulous! I think my husband got a bigger kick out of it, though. He's more agnostic and I still believe in a higher power, just not in organized or any other religion. So your username... does it refer to Brave New World...? Yeah Texas is great! No my name is a reference (probably not a good one) to The Matrix. I had the choice of the red pill (I can continue to buy into organized religion and Christianity) or the blue pill (I wake up from the "Matrix" and I'm free). I come from a somewhat military family. My aunt did 2 tours in Korea (Air Force), father and grandfather served in Vietnam, and my uncle was an MP for 20 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
defygravity Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Welcome! I am from Texas, too! I grew up near Ft. Worth but I am in Korea now, dh is in the Navy. I loved Religulous! I think my husband got a bigger kick out of it, though. He's more agnostic and I still believe in a higher power, just not in organized or any other religion. So your username... does it refer to Brave New World...? Yeah Texas is great! No my name is a reference (probably not a good one) to The Matrix. I had the choice of the red pill (I can continue to buy into organized religion and Christianity) or the blue pill (I wake up from the "Matrix" and I'm free). I come from a somewhat military family. My aunt did 2 tours in Korea (Air Force), father and grandfather served in Vietnam, and my uncle was an MP for 20 years. Oh ok, I have seen the Matirx years ago but didn't pay too much attention to it, LOL! Makes sense, though. I read the book Brave New World in high school (back in the ... ahem... 80's) and LOVED it. They took a little pill called Soma and if I remember correctly it was blue... I haven't read the book in a while. It was the way to keep the civilized people in line. My dad was in the Army years before I was born. My brother is currently Air Force, I am a Navy veteran and my husband is active duty Navy. His dad was a Marine, went to Vietnam and almost lost his legs due to someone in his group hitting a trip wire, blew him back a few yards and he did lose part of his hand, though. His uncle was a Marine, too and went to Vietnam but he made it out ok. So pretty big military family here. I wouldn't mind if my boys decided to go the same route, preferably the Navy... I am biased. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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