AKR Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 So, today, I accompanied my gf to the memorial service of her high school choir teacher and her husband. They both died in a car accident. Anyway, they were both highly religious, so guess what: they had a highly religious memorial. I have only been to a few of these things in my life, so I don't know what they're usually like, but this was the closest thing I had been to a church service in about 8 years. It was fucking horrible. After a few words, they started singing fucking praise hymns and shit. It was Jesus this, and God that the whole time. It's like they just wanted to use the time to proselytize. I almost walked out when they pastor started talking about everyone needing Jesus or they wouldn't get to heaven. People kept on saying "they would want you to find Jesus, blah blah blah." Then, it was back to more praise songs, and the leader guy kept on being like, "we need to praise god while we're here!" Um, no, we need to have a memorial service for dead people. Yeah, remember the dead people? I swear, only about 5% of the entire service actually had anything to do with the deceased; the rest of it was just a bunch of proselytizing and ass kissing of their pretend friend in the sky. They all said people shouldn't be upset because they are having a big party in heaven. People kept on trying to remind everyone that they aren't dead, but in heaven. I mean, they totally fuck up the grieving process. They won't ever get past the point of denial; they're going to spend their lives trying to convince themselves that they are passing out party hats in heaven. It was interesting though, to watch people who came up and talked. You could see a sadness there that wasn't "gee, I miss them, but I'm glad they're having fun in heaven!" It's like subconsciously, instinctually, they think these people are dead and gone, even though they keep on telling the crowd that they are in heaven. If they really believed they were in heaven, they wouldn't be sad like that. You can tell it's not about missing them, but it's more than that. Anyway, I told my gf I wasn't going to be attending another religious memorial because it drove me fucking crazy. She hated it as well, but still wanted to be there because she was her teacher and I wanted to be there for her. It's too bad it was ruined for anyone who wasn't a Christian. When my parents die, I'm going to pass off the duties to someone else because I CANNOT give them a religious funeral. My siblings sure will want one for them, but if they want it so bad, they can set it up. I'd like to put something in my will stating that I do not want a religious funeral and I hope they respect that. The last thing I would want is for my death to be used as proselytizing material. The ultimate irony for a man who dedicated his life to getting people away from that religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mwc Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 When my friend died (on leap day 2008 actually) his funeral turned largely xian. It pissed me off. He was agnostic at best. He knew the bible "basics" as most people do but beyond that he didn't buy in. I know because he said as much we when spoke. But at the funeral you'd think he had attended church on a regular basis (I think that funeral was the closest thing to church he'd seen in years and he was just ashes by then). Really, it was his dad (his mom-in-law and aunt mostly) and sister-in-law that were the religious ones and they'd pushed his wife into this whole renewed belief because of his health issues to help cope. When he actually died his SiL told his wife that he "spoke" to her and said he had literally made the trip to heaven A-OK and was doing just fine. I'm not kidding. They were still working on him on his bedroom floor when she got his "call." His wife was happy he was in "heaven" (considering he had never actually accepted "jesus" and all) but was greatly saddened that SiL got the message instead of her since she was standing right there next to his body and felt that she should mean something special to her own husband. But I guess he dialed the wrong number or something. At least he got the right house. Imagine if he had called the wife of someone who was actually alive? The mayhem he could have caused. I mentioned to his brothers and his other friends that I thought the service was a little "god" heavy and they agreed. But what can you do? I went out of respect for my friend. I believe I respected our friendship. I believe those who inserted their own agenda into the proceedings did not. That is their problem. I can't let that taint what I had. They won't take away from me. I feel sorry for them that they can't celebrate the life of the person and what they meant to everyone. As for us...we went to the local pizza parlor and did exactly that after the funeral ended. mwc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chefranden Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 My Ma just died a month back. She didn't want a funeral. She hadn't been to church in decades. So we (dad, brothers, sister, and spouses) buried her ourselves. Best funeral I've ever been to. Lots of crying and not much talking. No public prayers and maybe no private ones. Best ma I ever had. 80 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
par4dcourse Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I ranted a year and a half ago about this subject. My niece died and it was more a "come to jebus" than a funeral. I can sympathize. Xians will try and influence kids, bereaved adults, mentally unstable people, old folks. Any ploy is acceptable to "save a soul." Bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 I hate funerals like that, they disrespect the person who died. Isn't paying your last respects what funerals are supposed to be about? Why pretend a person was someone completely different from who they were in reality? Makes no sense to me. I think if certain family members cannot accept someone for who they were, they were not really their friends and only were polite out of familial obligation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 Praise God for they died horribly in a car crash. Praise Him for he made sure they felt immense pain before they were freed of their mortal coil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vomit Comet Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 I can understand if that's what the deceased would have wanted. It's surely what I myself would have wanted had I bitten the big one when I was still "on fire" for Jebus. Hell, I would have wanted the preacher to pull out all the stops, and the whole crowd would know damn well that that was my plan, fuck 'em if they don't like it. So again, I can understand... if that's what the deceased would have wanted. Hell, if the deceased would have wanted clowns going around passing out purple dildos to everybody, I'd understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hell, if the deceased would have wanted clowns going around passing out purple dildos to everybody, I'd understand. That almost make me want to not donate my body and opt for a funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 When my Dad died several months ago, the preacher, who was the son of his lady friend, proclaimed that Dad was in heaven now looking down upon us. Setting aside the fact that there is no heaven and looking only at Christian doctrine, my father surely was not in Christian heaven. He rejected Christianity and all religions his whole life and this never changed up until he died. That statement was meant to be a comfort to the living. In that sense, it was a sort of kindness to Dad's survivors. However, I couldn't help but laugh in my mind knowing that if Dad could somehow have known what was being said about his being a Christian, he would have laughed out loud, used a few choice expletives, and then wondered how he could get his hands on some Tennessee whiskey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKR Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 I can understand if that's what the deceased would have wanted. It's surely what I myself would have wanted had I bitten the big one when I was still "on fire" for Jebus. Hell, I would have wanted the preacher to pull out all the stops, and the whole crowd would know damn well that that was my plan, fuck 'em if they don't like it. So again, I can understand... if that's what the deceased would have wanted. Hell, if the deceased would have wanted clowns going around passing out purple dildos to everybody, I'd understand. But regardless of what they wanted, these wackos are more than happy to fulfill that desire because they love every minute of using death to urge people to join their religion and kiss their god's ass. The way they behaved at this memorial wasn't an act - it was exactly what they believed or wanted to believe, which is what makes it so disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackalackish Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 My Mother In Law passed recenlty and her oldest is a Baptist preacher. My husband is the next kid and there are 3 younger kids also. I say kids but they are all in their late 40s and 50s. And many grandchildren of course. So my Brother In Law (BIL) did her funeral, only talked about himself and her for 10 minutes and then spent the next 45 minutes yelling about not being saved. He never mentioned any of the other kids or grandkids and never mentioned her again after the first 10 minutes. And this was his mother! Even my Sister In Law's coworkers called her later that day to tell her "your mom didn't really think it was all about BIL, you were a huge part of her life." It was awful and my SIL was devastated by the service. My husband had many people there from his company and was very embarrassed. I shouldn't have been surprised, though. When my FIL passed 5 years ago the same BIL called me out from the pulpit at his funeral and said my FIL would have been so sad to think he wouldn't see me in heaven. Yea, right. My inlaws have always known my beliefs, had never said a word about them, and accepted and loved me for who I was. This BIL is a coward anyway. He will never confront me in person, he knows I would chew him up and spit him out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKR Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 My Mother In Law passed recenlty and her oldest is a Baptist preacher. My husband is the next kid and there are 3 younger kids also. I say kids but they are all in their late 40s and 50s. And many grandchildren of course. So my Brother In Law (BIL) did her funeral, only talked about himself and her for 10 minutes and then spent the next 45 minutes yelling about not being saved. He never mentioned any of the other kids or grandkids and never mentioned her again after the first 10 minutes. And this was his mother! Even my Sister In Law's coworkers called her later that day to tell her "your mom didn't really think it was all about BIL, you were a huge part of her life." It was awful and my SIL was devastated by the service. My husband had many people there from his company and was very embarrassed. I shouldn't have been surprised, though. When my FIL passed 5 years ago the same BIL called me out from the pulpit at his funeral and said my FIL would have been so sad to think he wouldn't see me in heaven. Yea, right. My inlaws have always known my beliefs, had never said a word about them, and accepted and loved me for who I was. This BIL is a coward anyway. He will never confront me in person, he knows I would chew him up and spit him out. Wow, that guy sounds like a real douche bag. Why did the family have/let him do the funeral the second time after finding out he was just going to use it for his own agenda? Anyone who would hijack an event specifically meant for the grieving process and use it for pushing their religion is a complete scum bag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpion Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I couldn't help but laugh in my mind knowing that if Dad could somehow have known what was being said about his being a Christian, he would have laughed out loud, used a few choice expletives, and then wondered how he could get his hands on some Tennessee whiskey. Wow. Your dad rules. If there's anything I want people to say about me, is that I'm in Hell, having the BBQ of my life (death?) and hangin' out with Socrates! When I go, I don't want to be buried. I want my body to be left in the wilderness to feed the animals... (after they've taken away all the transplantable bits, of course...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overcame Faith Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I couldn't help but laugh in my mind knowing that if Dad could somehow have known what was being said about his being a Christian, he would have laughed out loud, used a few choice expletives, and then wondered how he could get his hands on some Tennessee whiskey. Wow. Your dad rules. Thanks, Scorpion. Yes, Dad was always "his own man" as he would say. I remember before he died and I was visiting him in the hospital, he asked me if I would like a drink of that Tennessee whiskey. I said, "Dad, you're in the hospital. They don't allow drinking here." He laughed and then called the nurse and said to her, "Please bring me my package." Within a minute the nurse came walking in with his bottle and poured him a drink. My chin hit my chest. He looked at me and laughed for about a minute. Then he drank his whiskey and, once I recovered, I drank mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scorpion Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 I couldn't help but laugh in my mind knowing that if Dad could somehow have known what was being said about his being a Christian, he would have laughed out loud, used a few choice expletives, and then wondered how he could get his hands on some Tennessee whiskey. Wow. Your dad rules. Thanks, Scorpion. Yes, Dad was always "his own man" as he would say. I remember before he died and I was visiting him in the hospital, he asked me if I would like a drink of that Tennessee whiskey. I said, "Dad, you're in the hospital. They don't allow drinking here." He laughed and then called the nurse and said to her, "Please bring me my package." Within a minute the nurse came walking in with his bottle and poured him a drink. My chin hit my chest. He looked at me and laughed for about a minute. Then he drank his whiskey and, once I recovered, I drank mine. Anonymous Redshirt: "Scorpion, what does the scouter say about Overcame Faith's father's coolness level?" Scorpion: "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!" *crushes scouter mercilessly* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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