Guest Cloudwalker Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Well, hi, I guess. My first post. I just joined yesterday, decided to toss in a wee bit of my own decoversion experience after reading some very interesting stories here last night. This board seems like it has a lot of decent, level headed people in it, and I figured no one would mind if I poked my head in a discussion every now and then. Anyway...I'm a fairly new to the ex-Christian life; my deconversion took place about five months ago. I've been raised in a devoutly Christian family, as a lot of others have been; you know, stuffed into nylon stockings and dragged to church every Sunday and Wednesday, sitting in the pews and listening to my pastor/uncle holler into a microphone about some drivel I could not and still cannot understand to this day. I never felt attached to it, even though I was stuck in Sunday school every weekend as a little one and sent to this horrid private school where I got picked on a lot. Things didn't seem right once I realized what I was being taught; I remember when I was in the third grade, my parents read to me about Abraham and Isaac for the first time, and I spent the next few years fearing God would ask my mother to sacrifice me; that's not a really comforting bedtime story, I don't think. So I just spent the rest of the time I had to spend in church tuning everything out so I wouldn't get spooked. Then we moved and stopped going to church, but that didn't stop my mother from preaching. That got on my nerves after a while. Long story short, after sixteen years of listening to my mother rant about gays, go on about how the world is going to end soon, ect., I'd had just about enough of Christianity and decided to toss it over my shoulder so I could go my own way. It's painful to think back on everything she's said, especially since I've just recently come out of the closet as bisexual, though she isn't aware of this. I tried to read the Bible with an open mind but I was disgusted with the blatant misogyny and gory absurdities; all very primitive. But I think the one story that turned me away from it all was the creation myth; even though I'm just a kid with an overactive imagination, trying to pass off a story involving an invisible sky fairy who created all there is in seven short days then got pissed at his kids for eating an apple as the unquestioned truth as to how the World got kicking seems a little far fetched even for me. Despite how ridiculous I think the Christian myths are, being as young as I am it's been harder than I expected to pump the junk out of my system; still have the ghost of fear following me around making me wonder if I've made the right decision in deprogramming myself. Does it wear off eventually? But despite that I'm happier than ever; I feel like a load of chains have fallen away from me, and I can be myself and love who I want without worrying about some bipolar sky wizard flipping his lid. So, yeah, being ex-Christian is pretty good I think; a lot less stress. Thanks for tolerating my babbling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 MODERATOR NOTE TO BADGER: Badger, webmaster Dave has graciously allowed damned Christians free run of almost all of the fora on this site, which is far more freedom than is granted on almost all of the Christian websites out there. Stay in those areas. You're welcome (and even encouraged) to read in Testimonies and Ex-Christian Life, but posting is another matter. For you to have been willing to ignore the inherent purpose of this forum of Ex Christians discussing what life after Christianity is like by posting here is a clear and obvious set of lies. To post here is to say that you know something of what it's like to be ex-Christian. To claim that you were simply moved to give encouragement out of "concern" is a lie because you would have to claim to be ignorant of the fact that there are a great many members will jump at the chance to give such encouragement, and who will do a far better and more pertinent job of it. Your obvious lies are: I have some sort of relevant knowledge of what it's like to be a former Christian. My input is needed in this forum. I'm concerned about this original poster. I respect the purposes of this forum. There's no way you can get me to believe that you're actually concerned about Cloudwalker, when you clearly couldn't be bothered to stop and consider for two seconds what the implications are of the very title of this forum. That's not concern. It's self-serving parasitic opportunism. The pains and experiences of ex-Christians in this forum are not a tacit invitation to you to play the Look-How-Kind-and-Accepting-Some-Christians-Are witnessing card. The predatory nature of the many varieties of Christian witnessing has been discussed at great length on these boards. For you to be truly unaware of what we think of these sleazy tactics shows how how little you really care. If, on the other hand, you actually are aware of how we feel about it and why, then for you to decide it's okay to post here is obviously another lie. Your disrespect is extremely unwelcome here. Drizzling honey over it doesn't change what it is, or how unwelcome it is. With all the time you've spent on this site, how can you not be aware of how transparent you are to us? Take it elsewhere. If you want to post here, simply cut and paste the following: I, the poster known as Badger, know that Jesus is not God in any sense of the word. I know that I do not have the indwelling of the so-called Holy Spirit. I know that Jesus and the Bible are not going to "save" me in any sense of the word. I acknowledge that all forms of Christianity are vile, evil, poisonous lies. If you'll do that, I won't delete your posts in this forum. But I will still be watching you for a good while. Moderator Loren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramen666 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 But despite that I'm happier than ever; I feel like a load of chains have fallen away from me, and I can be myself and love who I want without worrying about some bipolar sky wizard flipping his lid. Hey Cloudwalker. I'm glad you feel that way. That you're free. Life is much easier without chains, isn't it? Well, I believe that is exactly what God also wants. Be blessed - be yourself. Talk abut spinning the situation.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Despite how ridiculous I think the Christian myths are, being as young as I am it's been harder than I expected to pump the junk out of my system; still have the ghost of fear following me around making me wonder if I've made the right decision in deprogramming myself. Does it wear off eventually? Welcome to Ex-C Cloudwalker. It does wear off eventually but I think it depends on how much you bought into it as to how long it takes, and everyone is different. I am still feeling the effects of a fundamentalist upbringing and I am 50 years old. However, it need not be that way for you. You have seen through this charade of a religion with all its false promises, that is the important thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Creepy Doll Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hey Cloudwalker, Welcome to the dark side . Glad you had the courage to come out, despite what your family might do and think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest RATIONAL EYES Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 yea it takes a minute to get it all right in your head. you're upbringing,routine,surroundings are all something that influence your way of thinking. being your own person is what is best for you, not what others want you to be. Im the only one in my family that is not religious,my girlfriend whom i live with is a sunday school teacher. But i will stand strong. Pay no mind to those people like the poster above that are religious and sign up on this sight just to jack with peoples minds,or maybe they are so stupid they dont realize this is EX-christian.net Anyway congrats and welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loren Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Cloudwalker, welcome. I apologize that one of the snakes came in here. This is supposed to be a safe place for ex-C's to speak their minds. You're very welcome here. Loren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Cloudwalker, Welcome to Ex-C.net. Thanks for sharing your story. I didn't start going to a church with any regularity until I was 14. My parents weren't religious at all. So, I was spared the bronze age horror stories cloaked in the guise of redemptive history. Whew! It seems like most of the bible stories that are re-purposed into bedtime stories for kids have such dark or tragic implications. I wonder why more christian parents can't see that they should all be given a PG-13 rating. And by the way your writing was not babbling at all. I am glad you took the time to write. oddbird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKR Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Despite how ridiculous I think the Christian myths are, being as young as I am it's been harder than I expected to pump the junk out of my system; still have the ghost of fear following me around making me wonder if I've made the right decision in deprogramming myself. Does it wear off eventually? I think the more you consider how absurd Christianity is, the more you will kill the fear. I just worked through the stories and reasoning of Christianity so much that I ended up without a single ounce of fear. I am confident that the Christian god does not and cannot exist. Congratulations on getting out so early. This will save you years of f*cked up guilt over your bisexuality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antlerman Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Despite how ridiculous I think the Christian myths are, being as young as I am it's been harder than I expected to pump the junk out of my system; still have the ghost of fear following me around making me wonder if I've made the right decision in deprogramming myself. Does it wear off eventually? That's an important question. Yes, eventually you learn to replace the voices of intimidation from the Bible crowd with confidence in your own thoughts. Then eventually you begin to even see them as the ones who are trapped in the prison of their own religious fears and feel sad for them. You're right, you have to retrain yourself to not listen to those devices of fear they use to keep themselves and others there, like the threat of judgment, etc. It does wear off, but a lot of it will depend on how you're able to create the right space you need to sort through all of it. Nice to see you here. Good company to keep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Hi Cloudwalker: Some times it is hard to let go of what we were told was true. It is not a sign of still believing but more like a junky kicking the habit. I still explore different ideas about Jesus and I would not consider myself to be Christian. Welcome to the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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