Question for Parents

[Mike D]

Question for parents: If you knew before you had your kids what you know now about Christianity, what would you tell them about religon, god, etc? Would you let them find their own path in life even if it meant they could end up a Christian on their own, or would you try to instill your own beliefs in them at an early age, whatever those may be? Since that's what many of our parents did to us with Christianity, I am just wondering how it would be with your own kids now?

[Mike D]

I think that's a good approach. The reason I was curious is that a very good friend of mine who used to be Baptist and is now an atheist. I was over at his house and his son who is about 5 or 6 was asking why a Jewish kid at his school got presents all the time and he didn't. My friend told him that it's part of their religion, but he should be glad he isn't as silly as those children believing there's some invisible old man flying around in the sky just waiting to punish little kids who step out of line. I could tell the kid was a little confused.... his dad tells him one thing but his friends tell him something else. I just hope he doesn't grow up resenting being taught there is no god and then later in life becoming religious for no other reason than to spite his dad for not giving him the freedom to discover things on his own. Know what I mean?

[dulce]

Question for parents:  If you knew before you had your kids what you know now about Christianity, what would you tell them about religon, god, etc?  Would you let them find their own path in life even if it meant they could end up a Christian on their own, or would you try to instill your own beliefs in them at an early age, whatever those may be?  Since that's what many of our parents did to us with Christianity, I am just wondering how it would be with your own kids now?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

My mom didn't teach me christianity at all and I ended up in a Pentecostal church. As a matter of fact, my mom's pretty much pagan.

So, with that, I would let my kids experience alot of different religions, and make their own decision. Well, of course, I would throw in my 2 cents on what xtianity is really all about!!!

[Japedo]

Question for parents:  If you knew before you had your kids what you know now about Christianity, what would you tell them about religon, god, etc?  Would you let them find their own path in life even if it meant they could end up a Christian on their own, or would you try to instill your own beliefs in them at an early age, whatever those may be?  Since that's what many of our parents did to us with Christianity, I am just wondering how it would be with your own kids now?

 

 

 

To be honest, I have dragged my kids,( and husband even when he's trying to object LOL) thru my entire process of becoming agnostic.

 

While I was contemplating converting to Judaism we bought a menorah and celebrated Hanukah. I tossed out EVERYTHING representing Christmas, and the kids were pretty gung-ho about it. Some rabbis pointed me in the direction of learning Hebrew, but the one thing they stressed was to make sure it was going to be a life commitment. There was a time I was sure It was going to be a life commitment. I'm thankful it's not easy to convert because thru the process I kept questioning. It took me a lot longer to Question the OT (Original I like to call it) Test, then it did the "new". It's been a learning experience for all of us . My kids are 16,15,15 and 14 Yes you read right. lol

 

My kids know the scare tactics of hell, of cults, peer pressure, along with 'nice' xtins. My mother is pretty much still heavily into the "Cult" as much as I love her it's hard to deal with her conversations with "God". My kids know thru stories of what I personally went thru, and not thru personal experiences of which I can say I'm very glad for.

 

I'd also like to stress that I teach them about the old mystics and sun worship that predated Christianity as well. I liked them to be armed with information incase they are ever encountered by a fundy zealot. I encourage them to doubt and question everything and seek answers.

[♦ nivek ♦]

We do the end of year holidays ot of custom and habit on our part, moreso for the good meal and happy times than anything religiously oriented.

 

Beastie has been raised to be at least religiously neutral. He has read Doc Long's "Biblical Nonsence" and many assorted Freedom/Freethinking books and texts.

 

Kid has had a good earfulla learning far and away from the publikk skUllE system and church so not to be snared by their nets.

 

Make education a part of life, rather than just a time with books at a specific time.

 

I use everything I can to ensure elBeasto gets a good nose fulla anti-religion every chance I can innoculate him..

 

kL

[Japedo]

Japedo, SAME here.  My children are only 7 and 11 though.  This past Christmas, we didn't even celebrate.  My mom and I had a HUGE falling out over a tree, but I was doing it for Jesus dammit!  Didn't want to be brining paganism into anything. My mom only knew about the tree, NOT that we didn't celbrate at all.  We've talked about the ridiculous issues in the bible, absurd laws, atrocities, hell, and how it doesn't jive with a loving god, etc. 

 

However, I'm about sick tonight.  Hers children wanted mine to spend the night, we got the puppy eyes and all....off they went and they'll be going to church in the morning.  Because my hubby still believes and my apostacy is a sticky issue, I just shut up.  Hopefully, they'll be okay, I'm sure that they will be because they're pretty strong kids. 

 

I dragged my whole family through my Christian ups and downs, laws, etc. and I'm doing the same with my leaving the faith.  However, I'm happy to report that I am finally STEADY! :-)

 

I admire your strength to be able to hold your words, it's something I've never been able to master gracefully. I honestly envy people who can do that. even if I start off holding my words, I end up stewing and well, then... LOL let go with both barrels..

 

My husband is also a self-proclaimed non-practicing Christian, and doesn't believe that one can ever lose their salvation, I think he takes comfort in that but when he asks questions he doesn't like the answer. It evolves into an argument because he doesn't care for my......... "Contempt" for god. (LOL) anyways.. I wish so bad he could just look at things the way I do with out his Jesus glasses. I'm full of Hell fire though, and frankly don't care if he agrees with me or not. Things are what they are.. no sense fooling himself.

 

 

Just to share a funny story last night. My house, we are Die hard Sox fans. Always have been. Anyways, the game was on last night and Shilling was closing. One of my son's asked who my favorite player was. I said Ortiz of course. He said, how come you don't like shilling Mom? My husband wanted to know too BOTH of them staring me down like I had sinned or something.. with the "WELL!!" look (?) LOL anyways .. I said.. Because I saw him on the 700 club with the bastid Robertson, and he's a bush/ war supporter, I just have no "love" for the guy. My husband snapped at me, Why does everything have to revolve around Bush or Religion! He was clearly aggravated with my reply and said to my son, Next time you'll learn not to ask... I dunno his reaction caused me to laugh, but it was true what else can I say?

 

It was by happenstance I saw him on there, I never watch the family channel, but the kids had left it on there for some reason.. anyways when I had come into the room they said Curt Shilling was going to be on with his wife.. of course I stayed tuned to watch... can't ever see him the same though, not only that he ALMOST cost us the game last night..

[Lunar Shadow]

Question for parents:  If you knew before you had your kids what you know now about Christianity, what would you tell them about religon, god, etc?  Would you let them find their own path in life even if it meant they could end up a Christian on their own, or would you try to instill your own beliefs in them at an early age, whatever those may be?  Since that's what many of our parents did to us with Christianity, I am just wondering how it would be with your own kids now?

 

 

Ivy & I are having this problem now.... we have come to the agreement that we are going to keep sheltered from this bullshit for a bit (our oldest is 3) we will eventually expose to her that people think different things and give some examples and explain our beliefs (or lack there of) and encourage her to be sceptical and critical of things before she buys in to them.. thats all we really can do.

[Libertus]

I still haven't figured out how I am going to handle all of this. My wife is quite a pentecostal, and my almost-6 year old and 4 year old are thus far following in her footsteps. I, in the not-so-distant future, want to start giving them a more balanced view of life and what Daddy believes as opposed to what Mommy does and what they have thus far accepted as reality. It shall be interesting!

 

Libertus

[spamandham]

I'm facing a similar issue as Libertus. My wife is still religious as is my 13 year old. Our agreement is that she can indoctrinate the kids, but that I'm not going to fake that I'm religious. I forsee this as a bigger issue with our 3 year old, since I was still a Christian during most of the taime raising the 13 year old, but now I'm not.

[spamandham]

Hey Madame M, I finally discovered where your avatar came from. I saw a poster for Martini and Rossi vermouth. Yes, I can be a bit unobservant at times.

[brick]

My eldest daughter is 7 and mischievious so she likes to tell me occasionally that she wants to be a christian. I try to let it slide knowing that she is just pushing my buttons, but it is a subject that I'm not very calm and collected about.

I've sat her down and educated her about world religeons but she got very bored and even weepy (shrug).

I will continue to try give her a balanced view and the right to free choice but I think she knows that it would be hard for me if she went christian. Its such a preposterous religeon, after all!

[Guest Challenger]

I have two children. They know I'm not religious at all.

 

I also know that when they older, they can choose as they will. Even if I wanted to, I'd have no control over it so it isn't something I'm going to worry about.

[Panther]

I have one daughter and don't plan on any more children. She's nine, almost ten.

 

I started her in christianity, took her to church, read her the bible, blah, blah....

 

Well, when I deconverted, I had to sit her down and tell her that Mommy made a mistake. In simple terms, I explained that I didn't believe the bible anymore. She told me at that point that she herself was having a hard time believing in talking snakes...Out of the mouth of babes, it figures, huh?

 

I am trying my best to keep the communication open with her and explain that there are many beliefs out there. My biggest point is getting her to understand that just becuase someone has a certain belief, that doesn't make it true and it doesn't mean that we have to believe the same thing.

 

I think she still believes there is a god....for right now, I think I have pressed the issue enough so that's ok.

 

We still plan on celebrating Christmas. That's one of my favorite times of the year and it doesn't have to be about relgion. It can just be about good times, good food, good friends and giving.

[dead_hobbit]

If I get married, I'm going to teach my kid Hebrew, and make sure he learns Arabic and Spanish from someone else. All of this I'll try to get done before he or she is 12. Not only will this give him a huge advantage in the world, but it will also allow him to examine the original mss of the Bible and see why the idea that Jesus fulfilled any messianic prophecy to be very strange.

[Ms. K]

Our daughter just turned 11.

 

I explained to her that no, I was no longer a Christian, and wouldn't be again. She asked me why, and I told her that it was because I couldn't possibly believe that a book that contradicted itself continually was the inspired word of a god, and that I really believe that we've been created, and left alone to figure everything out on our own. And that the way I believe is pretty contradictory to Christianity.

 

She understood once I explained it. She asked if we were going to church again. I told her that I was not going to church, but she was more than welcome to go to church with her dad, if he decided HE wanted to go to church.

 

Well, my husband claims to be a Christian, but I think he's about as lukewarm as i was before I deconverted. If asked, he can get rather, well, strident in his beliefs, but if you don't directly ask him, he doesn't act any more Christian than I do.

 

So, we are giving her the perspective of, "Pick for yourself. It's a personal choice, and none of anyone else's business, frankly." I think that's the best I can do for her, other than be willing to answer those tough questions.

[Godless Dave]

If I get married, I'm going to teach my kid Hebrew, and make sure he learns Arabic and Spanish from someone else. All of this I'll try to get done before he or she is 12. Not only will this give him a huge advantage in the world, but it will also allow him to examine the original mss of the Bible and see why the idea that Jesus fulfilled any messianic prophecy to be very strange.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Why Arabic and Spanish? I mean, they would help in the modern world, but not with the Bible.

[Mike D]

Is it just my imagination, or does it seem like there's lots of lukewarm husbands out there?

[Ms. K]

Is it just my imagination, or does it seem like there's lots of lukewarm husbands out there? 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

I seriously doubt it's your imagination.

 

I personally think that part of the reason my own husband is "lukewarm" is because his parents are so stridently fundie, he's rebelling. Yeah, he'll be 36 freakin' years old next week, and he's still not done rebelling against Mommy and Daddy.

 

So, he grew up in an environment where "you vill go to church und you vill LIKE it, und ze trains vill run on TIME," was the norm. Mommy and Daddy dragged him to church every Sunday, and when he was high school age, sent him to a private Christian high school (which thankfully is no more). They expected him to just fall into line with his two sisters and be just like the other kids at school.

 

Well, I have met the other kids at school. Mr. K's older sister is very much a fundie, right-wing, Christian Coalition conservative, and lives to keep up with the Joneses. Mr. K's younger sister is married to an attorney, and they are comfortable, but she's not materialistic like her sister. The people that I met at the ONE reunion that we went to are very much like Mr. K's older sister. They're doctors, and lawyers, and politicians (God save me from your followers), and dentists, and so on and so forth. They all live in swank areas of Orange County (think Newport Beach, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Balboa, and so on ad nauseam), they all have three or four kids, they all drive those gas-guzzling monster SUVs, and they all are typical of the fundie Christian Coalition voter.

 

Not one of those people didn't look down his or her nose at me. The only two former students who didn't were the lady who had come from Australia, and was a very friendly, cheerful lady, and the girl who graduated with Mr. K who was the daughter of one of the teachers, and didn't "fit in". All the other yuppie fundies looked down their noses at me, and when they found out that Mr. K is merely a restaurant manager, they were quite snobby towards him as well.

 

I was not impressed.

 

I think that a good deal of Mr. K being "lukewarm" is not just his parents, but realizing, after we went to his high school reunion, that he's not like the people he went to school with, and he doesn't want to be like them at all. I can't say that I blame him. He thought they were out of touch, and that they were typical pushy fundies. I didn't say anything at the time....I just remember thinking, "Yeah, well, people like them are the reason I have a hard time believing in a Christian God, if these are his followers, and this is the crap they inflict on other people." By then, I was certainly on the edge of deconverting....and seeing a large group of people who went to high school together, who went on to college together, who went on to marry each other and have kids at the same time and live in the same little insular communities.....well, that illustrated to me that it was the Christian cookie-cutter mindset at work. And I couldn't, and wouldn't, play into that mindset anymore.

 

Sorry....I rambled and turned this into a story about something that pushed me into deconversion.

 

But, it relates. The mindset that offends me? Offends Mr. K down to his very core. He and I are very individual people, and don't like groupthink. So, being Christian goes against our very personalities. I have made the giant leap towards not being a Christian, and admitting it. I figure it's only a matter of time before he does.