Guest Davka Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 So there's like 10 or 11 commandments, depending on how you count them. Some people say they're the source of modern law. Maybe. Anyhow, I felt like taking a look at them here. 1) You shall have no other gods but Me. Sheesh, Jehovah - jealous much? Oh yeah . . . never mind. 2) No idol worship. Unless it's a Christian speaker or musician. Those are OK. And big church buildings and fancy cars and Rolex watches, go ahead and worship them too. Really, it's cool. 3) Don't cuss, or swear on the Bible. Unless you're in court. Or taking the oath of office. Then you can cuss like a sailor. 4) Remember the Sabbath day. Also known as Shabbat. Which is - um, Saturday. Well, crap. 5) Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Because if you piss off your dad, he will open up a can of whupass on your sorry little kid butt, and you may not live to see tomorrow. Shape up and fly right. 6) No murder. OK, I can live with that. As long as I can kill me some Philistines and rape their virgin daughters, I can do without offing the neighbor's brat kids. 7) No adultery. Really? That's in the Bible? Damn! Do those TV preachers even read this stuff? 8) No stealing. Finally, something I can agree with. Um - does the Bible say anything about bit torrent? 9) Don't bear false witness. Hey, good advice! 2 out of 10 ain't . . . never mind, yes it is. 10) Don't covet your neighbor's crap. OK, maybe 3 out of 10, but exactly how am I supposed to do that? Hell, our whole society is based on coveting, where would we be without covetousness? I want stuff, man! Although I'm willing to go with #8 up there and buy my own, just to make my neighbor jealous, the self-righteous bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGiant Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I'd point out that, in practice, number six seems to become more negotiable the closer to the big guy you get. (hat tip to George Carlin) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted June 12, 2009 Share Posted June 12, 2009 If one wants to take da wholly babble as literal truth, what was listed up there was not the ten commandments. Well it was the alpha version, to use modern terminology. Find the final version in Ex 34. Be warned, that one is very different from the version you hear preached from every pulpit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixentrox Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Most Christians are too ignorant of the bible to know there is more than one set of the 10 Commandments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ephymeris Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 If one wants to take da wholly babble as literal truth, what was listed up there was not the ten commandments. Well it was the alpha version, to use modern terminology. Find the final version in Ex 34. Be warned, that one is very different from the version you hear preached from every pulpit. Oh good, I've never cooked a goat in its mother's milk...guess I'm a shoe-in for heaven! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightflight Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Ironically, Paul called the Commandments, the "ministry of death". Yet fundamentalists want to enshrine them in every government building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Ironically, Paul called the Commandments, the "ministry of death". Yet fundamentalists want to enshrine them in every government building. To be accurate, Paul wasn't talking about the 10 commandments, he was talking about the entire Mosaic Law, all 613 commandments in the OT. That's what is meant by "the Law" wherever it's mentioned in the NT. I guess he really wanted to wear those 60% cotton undies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ Fuego ♦ Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Actually, he does make reference directly to the law carved in stone, which was only the ten commandments. But I think he meant it to go beyond just that. 2 Cor. 3:7 "Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Actually, he does make reference directly to the law carved in stone, which was only the ten commandments. But I think he meant it to go beyond just that. 2 Cor. 3:7 "Now if the ministry that brought death, which was engraved in letters on stone..." Wow - all those years studying the Babble, and I missed that. No wonder I hate Paul. He makes me look bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurari Posted July 11, 2009 Share Posted July 11, 2009 Most of the ten commandments made more sense in the times they were written in. 6-10 are just general common sense type things...The rest of it was written at a time where there was a huge lack of cohesion in the community in some of the shittiest conditions on the planet living as nomads in a desert, and that was creating a...few problems. Best way to unify everyone? Tell them they are all part of a clique and speshul chosen of a god, and make a grand production out of it, and tell them all that their god says "Do this or I'm gonna do horrible things to you" because they were already living in hell already. Lewis Black explains it best: "The reason the Old Testament God is a prick, was because the Old Testament was designed as a book to get the Jews to straighten up and fucking fly right." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWqtpqQjNug&feature=related Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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