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Goodbye Jesus

I Feel Kind Of Like A Fish Out Of Water...


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Well, I did go to a bar last night. But I don't think that the bar scene is for me. It seems borring and dead/dull and a waste of money too!!!! Same with the casinos.


But I find it hard to meet people through online websites like craiglist for example and myspace. But a lot of people on craiglist are just spam/robots and not even real!!!! And I don't get any real responses from people on those websites.


So that only leave me with going to the mall or starbucks to meet people, but that hasn't worked for me too good either becasue most people are there just to go shopping or they go there with their friends allready.


So the only other places to meet people/make friends for me are- the Gym and my neighbors/neighborhood and my work.


I've only been back here in my home city for about 4 years. But I haven't really made hardly any friends at all.


I don't have any hobbiesat or anything like that really. I just like watching football, baseball, ufc fighting and listening to music and being online, watching tv and movies, and going to the mall and coffee shops and that's about



So I really truly miss going to church and am thinking about going back and trying it out again-diferent churches. I mean the part of San Diego where I live is very conservative and republican. So even if people don't go to church here where I live, it's still a family onriented/family friendly kind of place to live in. So things here are pretty much black and white as they say, here in my part of San Diego. It's kind of becomming a ghetto though.


So what should I do? meetup.com dosen't have much for me here in my part of san diego though. My part of san diego has a good mixture now of whites, african-americans, latinos/mexicans and middle-easterns too.


So I really feel like a fish out of water now. Any help, ideas, suggestions or advice?


Thanks again.......



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  • Super Moderator

You sound like one of those guys who can't figure out how to live outside of prison, so he gets himself arrested again so he doesn't have to be responsible for himself.


Go to a sports bar (you already like sports) where the Big Game is on TV but there are still other people around you. Learn a few magic tricks and bar bets and become the life of the party. Learn how to deliver five really good jokes. Join Toastmasters and learn how to organize your thoughts and communicate with others. You have to learn to like some activities that aren't so solitary if you expect to have people around you to meet. Churches and prisons aren't the only places where people with common interests congregate and organize activities for themselves.


Get out there, and good luck!

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Jason, I think Florduh has given you very good advice.


And I happen to know that there are beaches in San Diego. With scads and scads of people tromping around on them. And the weather's warm.


Good luck.

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hmm, sometimes you have to start a hobby. There are always fun people in theatre groups, you could be a stagehand and meet some cute actresses. You could join an environmental group and help clean up the area.


If you're comfortable with atheism (I know some here are still deists) here is the local group: http://www.atheistcoalition.org/ Maybe you could attend their meeting and ask for help in the entertainment/social life aspect.

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Guest Davka

The above are good ideas. There's also the Unitarian Church, where they worship humanism and eating weird food. There are a myriad of local clubs and groups you could try out: book clubs, scrabble players, gardening groups, and so on.


There's also speed dating. I've never tried it, but the idea is intriguing. Short, 5-8 minute "dates" during which you decide whether or not you'd like to talk to this person again. Then you break, write "yes" or "no" on a card, give it to the organizers, and sit down with a new partner for a new speed date. You can meet tons of people in a very short time without the fear of face-to-face rejection, and the ones who are interesting you get to talk to again in round two.


There are tons of options out there. You just need to get creative and be willing to try whatever. Don't get bummed out because the bar scene isn't for you, just go on to the next thing, and the next. You'll connect. Give it time.

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