Heart Vs. Head In Relgion/church,

[jason197754]

Well, I was thinking about this. I first started to leave church/religion, etc becasue of issues of the heart. I mean, the churches that I used to go to and belong to were very legalistic and controlling. They didn't want us to watch tv or movies or listen to music on the radio or drink at all, or get tattoos, or have non-christian friends, etc etc etc. So, I got sick and tired of all of that. The pastors were like dictators/tyrants and so I finally left or backslid as they would say. But so did a lot of other young people as well!!!! I just saw too much hypocrisy and double standard. Oh, they didn't want us to play video games either. All of those things were wordly or of the devil. lol lol!!!! So it's like I thought my way out of all of that. I think I just got tired and depressed from all of those burdens, rules, laws, etc etc etc and always hanging hell/lake of fire/ punishement from god over my head!!!!!

 

So what did I do next? I went to some more moderate/mega churches. Now most of these moderate/mega-churches didn't have all of those rules/laws/prohibitions. But, I could still see those things there kind of/sort of but is was way more subtle than those stricter churches. You know what I mean? But I finally got the gumption to leave those moderate/mega churches too becasue no one really befreinded me in those places and they asked too much from us=time, money-tithes, etc etc etc. And the pastors make tons of money in those huge mega=churches!!!!! But I finally left those moderate-mega churches becasue the pastors sound like a broken-record. All they would talk about is=have faith/trust God/everything is going to be all-right/just believe, etc etc etc etc. And it was pretty much the same kind/type of messages every week. And plus, I think the pastors and people there=sheep really don't even know what they really/ truly believe!!!

 

So I deconverted first in my heart and now in my head!!!

 

But why do you think a lot of deconverstions start in/with the heart? Why is that?

 

And I think I'm really starting to find my real/true self now!!!!!! I feel like I was lost and now I am found!!!!! lol lol lol. Not the way the bible says it though. But I do feel kind of weird/strange, kind of like I like a core inside of me.

I'm trying to find my idenity and/or a crutch. Maybe I am my own crutch!!!!

 

I'm trying to and need to SEE the FORREST THROUGH the TREES, if you know what I mean. It's like I'm seeing reality/real life now, but it seems kind of borring and plain. But I need to reconnect with life and reality and with my neighborhood again.

 

So what do you all think? Any advice, tips, ideas or help?

 

Thanks....

[Vigile]

But why do you think a lot of deconverstions start in/with the heart? Why is that?.

 

Dunno, mine was the opposite. I really had a heart for it and believed there was something there based on feelings. My head got in the way of all that.

 

I feel like I was lost and now I am found!

 

Good for you. That's one of the first thoughts I had when I first deconverted as well. All my life I had been taught that true peace, peace that passes understanding, was found in Christ. I found the opposite was true. It was like a huge breath of fresh air after living my entire life in a coal mine.

 

It's like I'm seeing reality/real life now, but it seems kind of borring and plain.

 

I'd encourage you to use your new found freedom to learn. Study whatever you can get your hands on. Nothing is taboo anymore. Life isn't boring. Not by a long shot. Only our perspectives make it such.

[Antlerman]

So I deconverted first in my heart and now in my head!!!

 

But why do you think a lot of deconverstions start in/with the heart? Why is that?

Reason and emotions interplay with each other and it becomes difficult to say what came first. They work together in a sort of feedback loop. But I would say that people are more open to the contradictions when emotionally it isn't working for them. If emotionally all their needs were being met, then they would tend to not pay as much attention to contradictions or challenges to it. But if it's not working, then they are more open to examining reasons for why it's not.

 

There's an old rhyme that kind of captures this. "A man convinced against his will, remains of same opinion still".

 

Something also I've come to understand in relation to this is that people de-converting is really not a case of their IQ, that is how intelligent they are, but more a case of the EQ, or Emotional Quotient. All in all though, I'd say that emotions plays a definite and integral part in someone converting, or de-converting.

 

And I think I'm really starting to find my real/true self now!!!!!! I feel like I was lost and now I am found!!!!! lol lol lol. Not the way the bible says it though. But I do feel kind of weird/strange, kind of like I like a core inside of me.

That's pretty much the case with me as well. It's finding what works for you. In the words of Polonius, "This above all: to thine own self be true."

 

 

So what do you all think? Any advice, tips, ideas or help?

Read, study, participate, explore, and don't be afraid. Being free to explore is really the benefit of moving beyond a system of doctrines and dogmas. You find answers for yourself, and you find yourself.

[ShallowByThyGame]

It's possible both heart and head need to overcome the lies on their own for deconversion. Religion is powerful because it attacks both. You get supposedly mystical experiences to make you feel emotionally attached, and then they tack on tons of 'logic' with their holy books and ancient authority.

 

I think the heart is probably the harder battle, or at least the more upsetting, but there are people like Pascal who never get past the head games of it all.