Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

Preacher's Kid


Guest Netwriter

Recommended Posts

Guest Netwriter

I am brand new here and one of those awful preacher's kids. I will not bore you with all the details of my life in show business, but will only say that my father was a fundamentalist, missionary, independant Baptist minister. I played the perfect PK in public and was a heathen whenever I had a chance. LOL

 

With that said, I still believed 100%, but something about having to attend church every Sunday morning, evening, Tuesday and Saturday morining visitation, Wednesday night prayer meeting, revivals at our church and any my dad preached within 100 miles of home, made me need to be a heathen when I could. The axiom is, the more zealot the parent, the wilder the child.

 

In my late teens, I got a job with a tree service. The guy who owned it was a shade tree philosopher. After a few weeks of working with him, he asked me a series of questions. Bless him. These questions got my brain out of neutral. When I took these questions home, my parents made me quit the job. I have used these questions on xians many times and I either get total silence or anger. Both responses are positive IMO.

 

Here is the list of questions and multiple choice answers he gave me as best I can remember: (I have updated the examples)

 

1) If your neighbor's dog killed your child, and you had the power to

chain this dog, blast him with blow torches, and the dog not die as a

result, how long would you torture the dog for its terrible crime?

A.) One Day

B.) One Month

C.) One Year

D.) Eternity

 

2) As a loving parent, you give life to 5 children and give them free

will to do as they see best. Each child goes his/her own way. One becomes a

Buddhist, one becomes an Islam, one becomes a Christian, one becomes a

Wiccan, and one believes in no religion. Only one of your children

believes as you do. How would you treat your 4 children who don't?

A.) I would kill them.

B.) I would disown them.

C.) I would torture them for eternity in hell.

D.) I would love them and accept them as they are.

 

3) If you had a critical message and wanted to make sure as many

people as possible would get it and understand it how would you go about it?

A.) I would send it in a time when there was no mass communications, or

printing presses.

B.) I would have my messenger not write anything down regarding my

message, trusting others to listen and pass it on accurately and unchanged.

C.) I would make sure what is written about my message was

contradictory, and very confusing, so people would have a hard time

understanding my message.

D.) I would write down a clear, non contradictory, simple book and send

it with my messenger in a time of mass communication and the printing

press.

 

4) How would you deal with people who did not get your message, or

didn't understand it, or didn't believe it was your message because it

was so contradictory and confusing?

A.) Kill them.

B.) Torture them.

C.) Damn them to eternity in hell.

D.) Understand, Love them and forgive them.

 

5) If you were omnipotent but invisible, and you wanted to make sure

that people knew you were real and wanted them to believe in you, what

would you do to make this happen?

A.) I would write my name on the face of the moon so all could see and

have no doubt of my existence.

B.) I would do things that could not be explained in any other way.

Like stopping terrible things from happening, like the 911 event, or

feeding all the hungry children on earth.

C.) I would protect and reward those who believed in me and ignore the

plight of those who do not.

D.) I would do nothing at all and stay as invisible and undetectable as

possible, letting everyone fend for themselves, those who believe in me

and those who don't, showing no favoritism.

 

In short order I realized I was more rational, had more compassion

and love than the god of the bible. He was not a god he was a monster

invented by bronze age savages. I was on my way out of the dark world of xianity.

 

Hope you enjoyed,

 

Gary

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent! :bounce: Welcome, Netwriter!

 

I'm a PK too. Preachers' Kids: the scourge of preachers' reputations.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am brand new here ..........

Gary

 

Welcome Netwriter.

Great post, great questions!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Outstanding Questions.

 

Welcome to ex-C!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fantastic.

 

I would love to spam the xtian boards with these, but I'm sure I'd be banned before the effort bore any fruit.

 

The only possible xtian response would be "I have faith that god knows what he's doing and his ways are not my ways."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Great post, welcome, PK! Hang around here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most EXCELLENT post, Netwriter! I'm saving these questions to badger any future Xians I encounter. Thanks!

 

And welcome to the forum! :grin:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome, on board from a fellow fundamental, independent Baptists PK. :woohoo: I think one of the reasons we PKs are so wild once we leave the nest or when daddy's eyes are not looking is the fact that they are such hypocrites away from the viewing eyes of their flock.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to ExC, Netwriter, from yet another PK.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Gary,

 

I love those questions.

 

I was sort of a rebel too, but always knew that oneday I'd have to repent and convert properly if I didn't want to go to hell.

 

...and soon I too will be a Preacher's Kid.

My 57 year old Dad has just started Bible College, and he's going to come out a 'Reverend'.

 

If he was Catholic I'd have to start calling him 'Father'.

 

:lmao:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Netwriter

[Loren] "I'm a PK too. Preachers' Kids: the scourge of preachers' reputations."

 

[Netwriter] I was lucky and never caused any major problems for my parents, or never got caught. :HaHa: My sister, on the other hand, never got away with anything. She caused them some red faces on many occasions.

 

Thanks for the welcome Thomas, Japedo, Ficino, Thankful, Mr. Grinch, Texmex2003, Trashy, SpaceMonk, Spamandham and Professor Greibowitz.

 

[Madame M] "Our pastor had 4 sons- two in college and two in high school. They were homeschooled kids and as soon as they graduated, they were shipped off to Bob Jones University so they can get educated into the ministry."

 

[Netwriter] I was fortunate to be 4 years younger than my sister. I watched and learned. No matter how much she did to help in the show business of church, it was never enough or appreciated by my parents. I sang in the choir, and that was about it. My sister was the pianist/organist, in every singing group and involved in everything else going on in the church. I never witnessed my parents thanking her a single time for all she did. They were on her case constantly. She got them back in big way.

 

I too was "parent called" into the ministry. I went away to seminiary and promptly got kicked out. That ended that. It was a good two years before my parents spoke to me again. After marrying a girl they did not approve of, then 4 years in the Air Force, I did the unforgivable and went to a libral arts college where I graduated with a degree in pre law. I was then what they called an *educated idiot*.

 

My parents both mellowed with age. My dad took a correspondance doctorate course in devinity in his late 50's. It was not offered by his fundamentalist seminary and so what was offered was more liberal and comprehensive in its course of study. It changed him. It apparently opened his eyes to the contradictions and errors of the bible. He confided in me, a couple years before he ended his ministry, that he did not any longer believe the bible was inerrant, but it was too late to change what he had preached for 40 years. Both he and my mom appologized for the childhood they delt my sister and I. They are now both gone and I have no resentment. Were it not for those tough times I would not be who I am today.

 

My Best,

Gary

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's great that you've put the pieces together in this way by this time, Gary.

 

You oughtta publish your tree guy's questions into a tract and pass it out on street corners!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those are great questions. I am glad they made you think.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.