RationalOkie Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 My mother in law is dieing. However, you are not allowed to say that to anyone within the family. They are the type that believe that if you say it, it will happen. Obviously, that makes having a rational conversation difficult. Best part...father in law is a card carrying minister of the Evangelic church of the Solid Rock or whatever the hell they call themselves. Hospice showed up to help because she can't talk or walk anymore and he {my father in law} say's, "We don't need your services". Keep in mind that she is suffering. She can't swallow and nearly chokes to death on a daily basis. My wife is so angry at her father right now. He's in the way of those of us that want to help her be more comfortable. Since HE is her husband, and he's a f*cking idiot who is trying to PROVE that gawd is real to his whole family, she is suffering. What a great image for the grandchildren...grandma choking to death on her own saliva because her own husband is praying that invisi-guy will heal her. He's going to SHOW us! Even better...his current pastor's wife died a long, horrible bout with cancer last year. She believed that she would be healed right up to the end. When she died, my father in law said that the reason she wasn't healed was that she didn't "have enough faith". Now, this is funny because she was born into a Pentecostal family, raised and married into a Pentecostal marriage and was one of the sweetest people I knew. In 2009 I'm still dealing with people that take the book of Acts literally. For this reason, I absolutely hate these f*cking tongue talking, bullshit walking so-called "men of gawd". I can't wait until he wants out of a rest home or wants more pain medication. I'm going to suggest that he pray harder and "believe" for more healing. If only he had enough faith.... Sorry...needed to vent. I sat next to her this afternoon and it broke my heart. <..Edited Title...> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Man, RO, that's horrible! Any idea how your grandmother feels about this? Is she truly willing to go through that agony in hopes of being a living testament to the miracles of god? I wonder if there is any way to take some kind of legal action in cases like this. Even if it's groundbreaking. You know, get an injunction to get medical treatment for the patient, then try to get a ruling that says, "although every effort is being made to respect the religious choice of the patient, it is in the public interest and the interest of the patient that proper medical care be sought. Limited power of attorney is granted to . . . and you are so ordered to seek proper treatment immediately. " This is the kind of thing that should go all the way to the supreme court. I don't want our society to be a totalitarian state, but I do believe that human welfare comes first and right now a religion gone viral is causing your grandmother to suffer. I'm definitely going to follow this topic. Please keep us updated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hereticzero Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 How does your mother-in-law feel? What does she want? I see where you stated she cannot talk, but can she communicate by writing what she wants? Even if your father-in-law had a durable power of attorney to act on her behalf, if he is interfering in his wife's care, you can call the police and have her moved to a nursing facility. If he tries to get in the way of the police, he will be arrested. This country has its religious zealots like everywhere else but you can enforce the law against them. A person in need of immediate care takes priority over religious beliefs, even for adults. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Davka Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Man, that sucks. I'm sorry you're going through this, and even sorrier that she is. On the legal side, it seems to me that the wishes of the dying person should be respected, not their family's. Do you have any way of knowing whether she wants pain medication and hospice care? Is she still able to communicate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agnosticator Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 RationalOkie, My sympathies are with you. It makes my blood boil every time I hear of yet another person whose suffering is INCREASED due to religious faith. Moral decency always takes a back seat when faith gets involved. I hope you can find a way to stop the ignorant and arrogant #%@&*^#! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RationalOkie Posted July 19, 2009 Author Share Posted July 19, 2009 All...sorry to leave you hanging on this. Thanks for the kind words. About her feelings on the matter...she was raised this way. She doesn't know any better. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it IS the truth. My father in law is a real piece of work. Technically, he has all of the rights, as it pertains to her care, but it chaps my ass that she doesn't stand up for herself. She can't, she's to weak. It's just hard for us to sit back and watch. Especially when he's going to say, in the end, she died because of HER lack of faith. Christianity is such bullshit! I will never understand how it's lasted this long. I'm very greatful for your kind words and I'm just sorry that I can't provide a happy ending to this story. We all know how this will go down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snafutopia Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 Just a note of sincere sympathy. So much pain and suffering in the world already, and this heartless ignorance heaped on top of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted July 21, 2009 Super Moderator Share Posted July 21, 2009 I'm so sorry you have to witness this tragedy. FWIW, they chose this kind of life and I believe they both get some satisfaction in the fact that they are not abandoning faith in time of trial. It's not much, but I'd try to see that as a positive aspect of this horror. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I'm so sorry you have to witness this tragedy. FWIW, they chose this kind of life and I believe they both get some satisfaction in the fact that they are not abandoning faith in time of trial. It's not much, but I'd try to see that as a positive aspect of this horror. I agree. I understand the need to rant. If it's any help, there were so many times I wanted to make life easier for my own mother but she did not want that. All she wanted was her faith. Your mother-in-law sounds like the true suffering saint. It can be maddening to watch and sometimes I think it's one of the worst forms of pride and arrogance. Then again, to call docile and subservient creatures like your mother-in-law proud and arrogant goes so totally against all that seems right that I'm not sure that I know what I'm saying. (My mother was not exactly "docile and subservient" any more than I am so I'm not sure that the comparison works.) But I can see your need to rant, if that is any help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franko47 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 My mom used to know this nice lady who used to help her with cooking projects and dinner parties. She and her husband were both "Christian Scientists". She died of something cancer-related at only sixty, and although I didn't know her that well, I took my mom at the time to her service. It was interesting listening to the "minister" (or whoever he was) neatly sidestepping the fact that all this "faith" in healing yourself spiritually (the core of what the CS'ers are into) didn't work for this nice lady. Afterward, I gave my condolences to her husband, who said to me, "If only her faith had been stronger". Yes, yes, perhaps this was frivolous coming from the grieving husband, I know, but this wasn't the first wife that had died on him. I felt like saying to him that perhaps "his own faith" was suspect in this case, but of course that would have been cruel. At any rate, the whole thing creeped me out. Even my mom confessed to me later that she was a bit upset at hearing other people from their CS Church commenting on how this lady had "lacked faith" and succumbed to cancer before her time. But, some people love living in the bliss of their fantasies; even to the point of blaming people for their own suffering of natural causes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts