Anti-Christian Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 At my wits end I left the fold of Christianity. I did the right thing in my own eyes, but however things in my Ex-Christian life did not go smooth at as I thought it would be. I am still surrounded by the stench of Christianity itself, including from my own family. My family would discuss all kinds of non-sense subjects about god's judgement (so much for peace with the lord), about Hell (so much for a gracious god), about obedience to an arrogant, hateful god (so much for freedom in Christ), reaping what you sow (so much for burying the past), live-ins without marriage are Hell bound sinners (so much for salvation without works), the bible being the true word of god (so much for science), original sin (so much for responsibility for your own actions), and basically anything that could sound so shallow and narrow has been discussed, and accepted by them as reality (so much for logic). Religion contributed to my anxiety, OCD, self-condemnation, stress, annoyance, irritation, and ignorance more than any other organization in my lifetime. Most of my bad memories of my life has happened because of religion alone. But the worst is yet to come. In my Ex-Christian life, I am feeling the wrath of the religion I abandoned. I am losing everything: my friends, my relationships with my family, my love for people, my love for family, my possessions, my wealth, my health, my mental stability, everything. I have been harassed in my Christian life by constant accusations generated in my brain (only applies if God isn't real anyway; read my testimony provided in link). Now I am being harassed by my life falling apart all together. Now I don't what the fuck to do now. I gave in to Christianity for over 13 years, and now my life is in a real shipwreck. I want to thank Christianity for causing problems that leads to an already fucked up world getting worse. I want to thank Christianity for destroying my semi-decent life. I want to thank Christianity for raping my ignorant mind, controlling my thoughts, and enforcing rigid "laws" even in my own private thinking. I am still seeking help from counseling , but not the Christian counselors, they'll scold you! Besides seeking help, I want to make a blog about my Christian experience (including submitting articles on Ex-Christian.net) and reasons why I hate Christianity, including the flaws in the Bible, the contradictions Christians usually make by mistake in their preachings/sermons, and utter my full opinion of Christianity. Read the prequel, click here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PhucWadGawd Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Sorry you're having such a rough time, Anti-Christian. Christianity kind of left my life in shambles, too. I made decisions as a Christian that I have to deal with now as an ex-Christian. It doesn't seem fair, but that's how it is. In my "real" life (offline) I only know one ex-Christian and that's saying something because I know a lot of people. Leaving the fold is probably not all that common. Then again, it's not that rare. I was relieved when I stumbled upon this website. Just know you're not alone. A lot of people here seem very supportive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Christian Posted July 22, 2009 Author Share Posted July 22, 2009 Sorry you're having such a rough time, Anti-Christian. Christianity kind of left my life in shambles, too. I made decisions as a Christian that I have to deal with now as an ex-Christian. It doesn't seem fair, but that's how it is. In my "real" life (offline) I only know one ex-Christian and that's saying something because I know a lot of people. Leaving the fold is probably not all that common. Then again, it's not that rare. I was relieved when I stumbled upon this website. Just know you're not alone. A lot of people here seem very supportive. This place is very supportive and thank Nature for this place, a gathering for Ex-Christians that finally woke up to reality about religion. A lot of people here have broken free from religious bondage, thus placed the unsatisfying lifestyle of sin & repentance behind. I am a very weak person emotionally, in which I am easily duped into situations without assistance to help me decide. Then again I got into Christianity since approaching preteen years, but took the serious approach (confessing sin daily, and striving for present-life righteousness) at age 19 (21 now). But that serious approach is a literal turn for the worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PhucWadGawd Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I am a very weak person emotionally, in which I am easily duped into situations without assistance to help me decide. I was like that too, so I understand. In fact, I got swept up by Christianity when I was a teenager because of the emotion I felt believing that Jesus loved me so much that he died for me. I never even bothered to look for opposing viewpoints to Christianity because I felt so good at the time. Christianity became a huge burden and yet I managed to carry it around for 19 years. Your emotions can inform your decisions, but if you let yourself get swept away by your emotions, you will be very easily swayed. Try to reason things out instead. When I've tried doing things that way, I can't think of a time when it has let me down. OCD is a tough one. When I was a kid, I was a compulsive hand-washer. Even when I broke the behavior, I found that the mindset was still there. The compulsive thoughts are hard to get rid of because you can't reach into your head to do anything about it. Don't be so hard on yourself. It can get better. I find that once someone, say, a "professional" labels you with some kind of disorder, you can get obsessed with the label. Maybe that's not the best way to go. Here's a mental health help forum where you can get some advice. The people in there are very helpful and supportive as well, and there's an M.D. in there who will answer you directly if you post a question. Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nightflight Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 Marlene Winnell specializes in helping people overcome fundamentalist religion. http://www.marlenewinell.net/ She does phone consultation too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight-mindwanderings Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 A lot of us have suffered emotional trauma as a result of our Christian upbringing and deconversion. I have a lot of social anxiety developed in part because of the constant worry and guilt of hell and sin. I understand a bit what you mean about the loneliness. I was fortunate to have deconverted with an agnostic boyfriend and always had many friends that were non-christian. In the area I live now, however, I haven't been able to meet many people who don't define their entire lives by their religious beliefs. Its difficult to be friends with such people. Its difficult to find people to be friends with that aren't like that. Everything might be falling apart now, but try to think about it as just a stage in the process. From the rubble you can build up a new life that is stronger, a life that you want to live and be a part of. A life that can give you peace. I hope that you find that soon. I hope we here can help you with that. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShallowByThyGame Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 You say you are losing your life, but maybe those castles were built on the sand of Christianity. Maybe you are finally finding your life. To quote Tyler Durden: "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Christian Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 You say you are losing your life, but maybe those castles were built on the sand of Christianity. Maybe you are finally finding your life. To quote Tyler Durden: "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." I like that quote a lot. Thanks for giving it to me I feel a little better now after writing this topic. I need to build a brand new life based on Naturalism. EDIT: And thanks a lot for support from the earlier posters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oddbird1963 Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I think you are doing the right thing by getting real counseling. Keep it up and keep sharing with the community what you are going through. I think it's a law of human nature that when we change, the world around us changes. Change is always at the root of stress. Without change, we cannot grow and become the people we want to be. That means that we can't become the people we want to be without undergoing all sorts of stress. I'm sorry that it feels overwhelming to you. But I think if you learn to live in the moment and take things a day at a time, you will suddenly, one day, look around and realize you have built for yourself the life you are seeking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anti-Christian Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 In a way I am enjoying the amusement of watching my life going downward. I am free to join several Fundamentalist Baptist forums and blasphemy against Fundy Christianity. This will be something I'm going to do next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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